


Force of Nature

by PendulumDeath



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Durarara!! Kink Meme, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-01-02 23:41:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 88,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PendulumDeath/pseuds/PendulumDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fem!Izaya pushes Shizuo too far one day, to the point that he loses it and takes out his anger on her in the worst possible way, only to deeply regret it afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Poke The Sleeping Tiger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: http://drrrkink.livejournal.com/6253.html?thread=23893613#t23893613

Izaya was a bitch, the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, and Shizuo loathed her. Those were undeniable facts, and his conviction was once again reinforced when Izaya showed up in Ikebukuro, despite all the warnings Shizuo had given her over the years, and proceeded to ruin his day and what could possibly have been a great fuck.

It all started when Shizuo was outside an apartment building smoking a cigarette. He was waiting for Tom to collect the money some dirtbag owed him when a smoking hot brunette stopped in front of him.

"Oh my, if it isn't Heiwajima-san!" she almost squealed.

"Huh? Do you know me?"

"You're pretty famous around Ikebukuro," she purred while running her hands all over his chest.

His eyes widened slightly behind his sunglasses and a smirk formed of his lips. "So I've heard, though I have no idea why."

"Heiwajima-san is so modest!"

This time she actually did squeal in delight and licked her lips, giving Shizuo a sultry look from behind long, black eyelashes. "I would loooooove to see how strong Ikebukuro's strongest man really is."

Shizuo groaned, his pants suddenly too tight. It had been too long since the last time he got laid and he absolutely did not want to waste such a rare opportunity. Contrary to popular belief, women did not flock to him. If anything, most of them got scared out of their minds as soon as they saw him. Women liked bad boys, but not bad boys with anger issues who could break their bones as if they were twigs, which actually happened one time during the act. Needles to say, said woman had not been very happy about it. That's how the rumor about him hurting women during sex had started, and ever since then he had no choice but to mostly rely on that good ol' right hand of his to satisfy his needs. Unless, of course, he happened to run into girls such as the one standing before him who was almost begging him to fuck her. She was clearly a masochist, the leather collar around her neck reinforcing his belief. He didn't mind though. If anything, it was for the best.

His attention snapped back to the woman in front of him, all hot and needy for him. He smirked again. "Sure thing, let me ask my boss if I can take a short break from work," he said, and as he turned around, he saw the bane of his existence smirking at him from across the street. He felt his blood boil, knowing that Izaya wouldn't simply ignore him and move on. There was no way he'd get laid now, not anymore.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya called his name in a cheerful tone while crossing the street. "Who's the slut?"

The woman gasped, clearly offended, but kept her mouth shut when she saw Izaya. Everyone knew Orihara Izaya, and they also knew that they did not want to make an enemy out of her.

"I'm sorry Heiwajima-san, maybe next time," she spoke softly then quickly walked away.

"No! Wait!" Shizuo shouted after her, hoping to convince her to come back, but to no avail.

His head snapped back to Izaya. "I will kill you, you fucking bitch!" he snarled and lunged himself at Izaya who easily dodged the attack and started running away.

"Aww, Shizu-chan, why so hateful?"

Izaya had sounded really offended, but Shizuo knew better. It was all an act, and he was absolutely tired of her bullshit. There was nothing worse than ruining a man's chance at a good fuck and for that Shizuo decided to crush the bitch once and for all. He would teach her the consequences of messing with Heiwajima Shizuo.

If Izaya moved like a cat, swiftly and elegantly passing through the obstacles in her path, then Shizuo resembled a tornado, knocking everything over. To catch Izaya was no easy task, he knew as much, but this time he was decided to not give up no matter what.

"What's the matter, Shizu-chan, you getting old?" she mocked him from on top of a high, wide concrete fence that she succeeded in climbing against all odds.

Shizuo growled. "Shut the fuck up, bitch! Today Imma kill you for sure!"

Izaya simply chuckled. "Maybe you should quit smoking. It's bad for your health. No wonder you have such a hard time running."

Shizuo saw red, and the next second he punched the wall so hard that it started crumbling, Izaya falling fast to the ground.

She grunted in pain when she hit the ground, and she barely had time to dodge when Shizuo moved to grab her arm with that big hand of his. He stumbled on the debris and she took the opportunity to scram, barely suppressing a scream of pain as she was forced to run with an injured ankle. She spared a glance back to see if Shizuo had stopped, but she ended up cursing the blond's stubbornness for refusing to give up.

"Kill! Kill! Kill!" Shizuo kept repeating behind her, trying to nail her with a street sign.

Izaya was starting to panic a bit, which in turn lead to her losing her concentration long enough for Shizuo to almost catch up to her.

He swung the street sign again, and this time it left a cut in Izaya's shoulder blade.

"Argh!" Izaya hissed, the hit having taken her by surprise. She was panting heavily now, suddenly aware that if she didn't lose Shizuo, she might really get killed. _All the more reasons to calm down,_ she told herself, knowing that she wouldn't accomplish anything by panicking. She knew Ikebukuro like the back of her hand; there were ways to lose Shizuo through the streets.

She smiled wickedly and took a right turn, heading towards two old houses with a narrow space between them. There was no way Shizuo would fit through the narrow passage, and that would give her enough time to escape while he would have no choice but to go around the building.

Then something stupid happened. There she was, dashing like mad, when she stepped on a rock. It wasn't that big, but the pain spread through her injured ankle and up her leg like wildfire. She only stumbled for a second, but that was enough for Shizuo to smack her on the side with the street sign he was swinging around. The second she was down he jumped on her, like a predator ready to devour its prey, but Izaya was no easy prey, and she proved him once again when she slashed at his neck, the blade leaving a red, bloody line in its wake.

Knowing he had to immobilize her fast, Shizuo caught her wrist and squeezed it until she dropped the switchblade which he then quickly grabbed and pushed against her throat in return. Shizuo breathed in relief, knowing that he had just dodged death. Had he been a fraction of a second slower, he'd be bleeding on the ground from a slashed throat.

Izaya froze, the threat being too great to ignore.

"I've finally caught you, flea!" Shizuo growled, his face merely inches away from hers.

"Yes you did, Shizu-chan," she said with a forced smile on her face. The smile then disappeared. "What now?"

"Now you follow me," he said as he picked her up from the ground and started dragging her away, the switchblade rubbing dangerously against Izaya's neck.

"Where are we going, Shizu-chan?" she chirped.

"You'll see," he said, his tone, a promise of pain to come, making her shiver.

"You scared, flea?"

"Tch!"

They walked for a while, until Shizuo stopped in front of what looked like an abandoned warehouse of some sort. Worry was eating at Izaya for a while now, ever since she realized that Shizuo was dragging her away to some remote area.

"We're here," Shizuo said, pressing the switchblade harder into Izaya's neck.

"Ehhh?? But, Shizu-chan, this isn't good, what if you lose control and really kill me? You'd end up in jail, you know?"

"Zip it, flea, I'm sick of hearing you yap all the time. You're way overdue for a fitting punishment, so shut up and take it like a man."

"I'm a woman, you protozoan!"

"I said, shut up!" he growled and kicked the door open with his leg before he punched Izaya so hard in the stomach that she doubled over from the pain. He then closed the door and turned his attention back to her, a twisted smile adorning his face.

"Shizu-chan is being a big bully!" Izaya complained as she tried to get up, only to get hit again.

"I fucking hate you, flea. I wish you'd just die."

"This inhuman strength..." said Izaya with some effort, "if I were a guy and had it, the sky would be the limit, but I guess it's better to have a brain than to be a protozoan."

"IZAAAYAAAA!" There was another hit, and this time Izaya was flung through the air from the sheer force of it.

Her hands wrapped protectively around her stomach while she coughed violently.

"You've ruined my life you goddam flea!"

Another hit, this time to her back, and she screamed from the intense pain.

Shizuo relished the sound that was like music to his ears. He bent down and grabbed Izaya by her short hair, then kneed her in the face, the action followed by a swift punch to her jaw. "Fucking flea!"

"Y-You bastard!!!" Izaya roared and regarded him with hateful eyes while holding her bloody nose.

Shizou sneered and dragged her by the hair to a large table placed against the wall on the left side of the warehouse. He threw her on it, grabbed both her wrists with his left hand and placed them above her head.

Izaya was about to insult him some more, but Shizuo used the switchblade to cut through her t-shirt and her eyes widened in disbelief at the unexpected action. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

He completely ignored her and proceeded with cutting her bra.

"I ASKED YOU A GODDAM QUESTION, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Shizuo was still ignoring her, blocking out her annoying high-pitched voice in favor of observing the naked torso before him. His mouth watered at the sight before him: pale flawless skin, extremely small waist, beautiful shaped hips and cute small breasts. He would've never guessed that Izaya could look so feminine under that stupid furry jacket of hers and the boring t-shirt she sported most of the time. Sometimes he even had doubts that Izaya was a woman, because she didn't act like one at all. He ran the switchblade along the curves of her breasts, and he felt Izaya tremble under him. For once, the bitch seemed to be afraid of him. _Good._ Now that Izaya was completely at his mercy, he no longer needed the switchblade, so he put it in his pocket for safe-keeping, knowing that leaving any knife around the flea was not a good idea. With his now free hand he grabbed her breast and squeezed it hard.

"Let me go," she hissed through gritted teeth.

"Like hell I will!"

"This isn't funny!"

"It's not supposed to be funny, you dumb bitch."

Izaya lost it and spat him in the face. "Fuck you!"

There was silence for a few long seconds, the only sounds in the building being those of their breathing, until Shizuo finally spoke: "No, fuck you," and with that he grabbed her belt and unbuckled it.

"What the fuck, bastard!" Izaya screeched. She could only scream profanities and watch in consternation as Shizuo was working on getting rid of her pants. She used the opportunity to kick him in the face, succeeding in breaking both his nose and his sunglasses. She smiled at her small accomplishment when she saw blood pouring out of his nose, but it fell when Shizuo punched her so hard in the stomach that she felt the air being knocked out of her. With eyes tightly shut, she kept struggling to breathe, until she heard the sound of a zipper and she opened her eyes in time to see Shizuo taking out a very large and erect member, her breath hitching and her eyes widening comically at the sheer size of it.

The blond leaned down and whispered into her ear: "All of it is going to be inside you."

She knew she had to say something, but she didn't know what. With Shizuo so full of rage and apparently hell-bent on raping her, she had doubts that anything she said would be of any help. She still had to try though. "Tch, you're that desperate for a fuck that'd you'd rape me? Me, of all people, the person you hate the most? That's just so sad."

"That's exactly why I won't feel bad about it," Shizuo said in return and rubbed his erection against her core.

She barely suppressed a whimper at the action. She was about to say something else, but searing pain engulfed her body as Shizuo rammed into her, and all she could do was scream as her insides were mercilessly torn.

He grunted at the tightness of it, expecting it to be easier to enter Izaya because he had heard on numerous occasions that she was a loose bitch. Then again, she had been as dry as a desert, so it was no wonder that it was hard to move inside her. He pulled out a bit, easier this time, and he assumed it was because of the blood. Shizuo knew he was big, big enough for women to have a hard time taking all of him in even when they were wet, so there really was no wonder that Izaya was bleeding. He didn't give a fuck though, so he rammed himself in again and again, each time eliciting delicious screams and whimpers from the trembling body underneath him while he enjoyed the look of absolute agony on her face.

"Argh... I f-fucking ha-hate you," Izaya finally said when the air wasn't being knocked out of her lungs from the sheer force behind the thrusts.

"I hate you more!" Shizuo growled and pushed harder into her, rage still boiling hot inside him. His free hand roamed over her body, grabbing her so hard that he was sure she'd bruise later, but he didn't give a shit because for once he could fuck a woman to his heart's content without caring if he hurt her or not. He felt free like never before as he kept drilling viciously into her, pleasure building fast in his nether regions. He knew that he was really close, so he pulled out, gave a few more strokes, and came all over her stomach and chest. He stayed like that for a few minutes, trying to catch his breath.

"Get.The.Fuck.Off!" Izaya finally said when she saw that he was just standing there like an idiot.

"I don't remember saying I was finished with you."

Izaya's breath hitched. "You already got what you wanted," she shrieked, eyes full of terror.

"I'm far from being done with you, you fucking bitch."

Izaya started trembling again. "No... NO!"

Then she was suddenly flipped over and Shizuo captured both her wrists behind her back. He bent over her and bit her earlobe hard enough to make her scream again.

"NO! NO! NO!" she kept repeating over and over again while Shizuo stroke himself back to hardness.

He rubbed his erection against her ass. "This time it's going in there."

"No..."

"Yes!"

"Please!" begged Izaya, her voice cracking.

"Please what? You want me to fuck you? Sure thing, sweetheart."

Izaya screamed as Shizuo forced himself in with a hard trust.

Shizuo clenched his teeth, the half of his member buried inside being squeezed to the point that it was nearly painful. He pulled out, blood already starting to seep out of her hole, and then he pushed back in, burying himself to the hilt, all the while ignoring her pained screams. He was so sensitive from the earlier activity that he almost came right then and there, but hhe grit his teeth and pulled out slowly before thrusting into her again.

Izaya was at her limit, tears falling freely down her cheeks. She was in so much pain that she couldn't help but beg Shizuo to stop the abuse. She was a strong woman, but it was too much even for her.

Shizuo simply ignored her pleas and kept hammering into her ass until he reached his peak and came with a roar as he emptied himself inside her. Once he finally caught his breath, he pulled out of her, used her pants to wipe himself clean, and then sat on a crate near the metal table.

With the little strength she had left, Izaya pushed herself away from the table, only to collapse on the floor with a thud as her legs gave out from under her. She crawled under it until her back hit the wall and she stayed there, clutching to her jacket and hoping against hope that she wouldn't get hurt again.

Shizuo glanced underneath the table for a while and smirked. The bitch finally got what she deserved. He truly had enjoyed seeing her with blood running down her thighs and his cum seeping out of her ass. It suited her. He was certain that half of Ikebukuro had fucked Izaya, but he wondered just how many had the pleasure of nailing her in the ass. _Probably not many,_ and that thought alone brought him some sort of twisted satisfaction. He rubbed his crotch at the pleasant memory of fucking her and he groaned, already starting to get hard again. He was still angry at her, and because of that he was decided to fuck the bitch until he was completely satisfied. He got up from the crate and approached the table. "Get out, time for round three." He heard Izaya whimper, but she didn't seem to be moving. "If I have to pull you out myself, I'll make it twice as painful, that's a promise."

She whined, the sound so reminiscent of that of a wounded dog that he was surprised she could make such a sound. He cringed when he figured he'd have to get down on his knees and pull her from under the table. "This is just payback for all the shit you've done to me over the years," he said once he was close enough to grab her ankle and pul her out. "Karma's a bitch, bitch."

She started flailing about like a bird trapped inside a cage, but it didn't take Shizuo long to subdue her as he sat on her lap and used one hand to grab her neck and the other her wrists. She looked exhausted as she sobbed, big tears running down the sides of her face. "What the hell is wrong with you? Stop overreacting."

She kept on crying, sobs wracking her small frame.

"Tch! It's not like you haven't fucked half of Ikebukuro already. It's just sex, rougher than usual, but still sex. You ruined my chance to get laid today, so it's only natural that I make you pay for it with your body."

Her sobs just increased, so much that she was having troubles breathing.

"Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Stop being such a drama-queen."

Izaya was still not talking to him.

"I'll let you go once I'm fully satisfied, I promise."

He had no idea why he felt the need to assure her that he'd let her go, but it bugged him to death. Perhaps it was because Izaya was acting like such a damn girl that it was making it hard for him to keep being a jerk.

"I'll be gentler this time," he said softly.

Her cries only increased in volume.

"Just stop it, it's not like it was your first time, you damn flea." He heard her say something in-between sobs, but he didn't quite make out the words. "Huh?"

"It was _―_ " she spoke again, this time a bit louder, but still low enough that Shizuo had to strain his ears to hear her.

"It was what?"

" _―_ my first t-time."

"What?" Say that again?!"

"I was a virgin," she finally said, her throat hoarse from screaming and crying, her bloodied lower lip trembling.

Shizuo laughed. "What a joke! Like I'd believe that! Orihara Izaya a virgin, ha! Everyone calls you a loose whore," he said in a mocking tone.

"Peo-ple lie," said Izaya in-between sobs.

Shizuo couldn't help but think back at the time when he'd entered her. He remembered feeling some resistance, but he didn't give it much thought because he assumed that Izaya was a complete whore. Besides, he was someone who could go through walls, how the hell was he supposed to tell that the weak resistance he felt when he thrust into her had been her hymen? So what if Izaya had been a virgin, she was still the bitch that had screwed up his life over and over again. And yet, as he looked at her red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes, he felt a twinge of guilt. Those eyes were filled with terror, and the fact that she was acting like such a weak and scared little girl made him feel bad, and he couldn't help but notice how much smaller than him she really was. He could see bruises already starting to form on her milky, white skin as a testimony of the violence she had been subjected to, and he finally realized that she simply hadn't stood a chance against him.


	2. Cry In The Night

He slowly let go of her neck and pulled her up a bit to straighten her jacket and zip it up.

"Shit Izaya, I didn't know..."

Izaya didn't say anything. Instead she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them tightly as she lay on her side on the cold floor.

"Look, I..."

He was starting to feel angry again, but this time the anger was directed at none other than himself. He didn't know what to say anymore. "I'm taking you to Shinra."

Izaya just made herself smaller, as if to shield herself from the world.

"So don't panic, I'm not going to hurt you again, I'm going to help you. Try not to struggle."

His hand touched her shoulder and she flinched. Shizuo inwardly cursed. He didn't know how to be gentle when it came to Izaya. He still hated her guts, but he couldn't help but feel remorse at having treated her like a whore and raping her when she was a goddam virgin. _Freakin' louse!_ Nothing was easy when it came to her. Ignoring her weak struggles, he put her pants and shoes back on, took her into his arms bridal style, and walked out of the warehouse, skillfully avoiding populated areas.

Once he reached Shinra's apartment he banged his foot against the door. "Open up Shinra."

"Comiiiing."

The door opened and Shinra's jaw dropped. His eyes narrowed dangerously. "What have you done to Izaya?"

"Well, you see..." Shizuo started but didn't continue, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Bring her in!" Shinra hissed.

Shizuo followed him until they reached a room that Shinra used as his lab. He set the now unconscious Izaya down on a table and backed away from it and into a wall. "Shinra, I think I screwed up badly."

"You think?" he snapped. "She's unconscious, how badly did you beat her up?" Shinra asked as he prepared different things he needed to use in order to sew, disinfect and treat the many wounds he was sure to find.

"Shinra, listen..."

"What?!"

"I raped her."

Shinra threw the small bottle he was holding and lunged himself at Shizuo, punching him hard in the face. "You **sick fuck,** how could you?" He grabbed his shirt and shook him.

Shizuo didn't move, his head still to the side from the punch he had just received. "It's worse than that."

Shinra's right hand flew to the blond locks and he tightened it, forcing Shizuo to look him in the eyes. "How much worse...?"

"Uhmm... I screwed her in the ass too."

This time Shinra screamed Shizuo's name in rage and smashed his head into the wall. He knew he couldn't hurt Shizuo too much, but goddam if he didn't wish to be able to achieve such a feat. He let go of the bastard and rushed to Izaya's side, carefully unzipping her favorite jacket. **"Get out,"** he growled, and Shizuo complied, completely shocked by Shinra's behavior.

Shizuo knew that Shinra and Izaya were friends, but it was the first time he saw Shinra act so unlike his usual self.

"Don't you dare leave," Shinra added just as the blond was closing the door.

Shizuo had no intention of leaving. After grabbing a chair from the kitchen and placing it in the hallway outside the lab, he sat down and waited for Shinra to finish treating Izaya. Alone with only his thoughts as company, he couldn't help but think what a hypocrite he turned out to be. He kept shouting left and right how he hated violence, yet he raped and beat up a woman. It was true that he never really saw Izaya as a woman, because Izaya was just **the flea,** but that was no excuse for what he had done. Besides, he had been stupid enough to believe the rumors about Izaya being the town's slut. He groaned, pain slowly starting to bloom in his head as he waited. It seemed like an eternity had passed before Shinra finally opened the door and stepped outside. Shizuo jumped from his chair. "How is she?"

"Obviously not good," Shinra hissed. "How could you?"

Shizuo lowered his head, unable to look Shinra in the eyes. "I couldn't control myself, she made me mad, so mad and I _―_ "

"Shizuo, you raped her. That's just sick."

"I know, and I also know that there's no excuse for what I've done but I snapped. She brings out the worst in me and you know it!"

"Twice Shizuo, you raped her twice time... or was it more?" Shinra asked, a look of horror crossing his face.

Shizuo opened his mouth and was about to answer when a pitch-black shadowy scythe was pressed against his throat.

Both males turned their attention to Celty who seemed to have finally come back after finishing a delivery.

"Celty darling, put the scythe down," Shinra spoke softly. "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

No reaction.

"You can't tell me if you don't put it down."

More smoke sprang from her neck and she used them to hold the scythe in place while she typed on her PDA, proving to him that she could hold the scythe and type at the same time.

[ I know that Shizuo raped a woman. ]

Shinra nodded. "That's true Celty love, I'm so disappointed in him!"

Shizuo gulped, the sharp scythe pressed against his throat making him nervous. "Celty, I fucked up, I know."

Her hands were shaking now. [ Why did you do it?? ]

"You know how much I hate the flea," said Shizuo with a bit of exasperation in his voice.

[ You raped... Izaya? ]

"Yeah."

[ .............................. ]

Shinra cautiously approached her. "Celty darling, we both know that Shizuo deserves to be punished for what he did, but I think that Izaya is the only one who has the right to do it."

[ I never liked Orihara Izaya, but I don't think she deserved such a thing happening to her. ]

Shinra nodded, and Celty slowly retracted the scythe, the smoke going back into her body.

[ I'm really disappointed in you Shizuo. ]

"I'm sorry," was all Shizuo could say.

Celty turned around and left, leaving the two of them alone.

"Go home; you've done enough damage for one day," Shinra said.

"Can I stay here for a while longer?"

Shinra's brows furrowed. "If you think I'll leave you alone with Izaya then you have another think coming."

"I know you don't trust me anymore, but I'd be really disappointed if you believed me capable of hurting her again when she's like this."

Shinra glared at him with disgust. "Don't you dare go inside!"

"I won't."

Shinra was about to leave when Shizuo spoke again. "By the way, it was only two times."

"That was two times too much," said Shinra as he walked away.

Shizuo sat down on the chair, wondering how he could fuck up so badly.

 

* * *

 

Izaya woke up in a sweat in the middle of the night. She panicked for a second, expecting to be still in that abandoned warehouse, but as her eyes surveyed the surroundings she figured that she was at Shinra's house. She felt sick to her stomach as details of her abuse flooded her mind, and it took everything in her power to not throw up right then and there. Her eyes burned with unshed tears as an overwhelming feeling of shame took over her. Just thinking about Shinra seeing her so weak and pathetic, and having no choice but to take care of her, made her wish for the ground to open and swallow her up. Her body shook. _I have to get out of here._ She couldn't let anyone see her that way again. Orihara Izaya simply did not show weakness to anyone.

Trying her best to ignore the pain, she moved to the edge of the bed and allowed her feet to touch the floor. She took a deep breath, then pushed herself off of it. Pain flared from between her legs and her whole body trembled, but she grit her teeth and refused to give in. She cursed under her breath when she noticed that she was naked, so she grabbed the sheet to cover herself up. It was so dark that she could barely see anything, but she didn't want to wake anyone up, so she had to make due with the weak light of the moon and of the city that never seemed to sleep. As she slowly walked towards the door, images of what Shizuo had done to her flooded her mind with a viciousness that almost left her breathless. With a shaky hand she grabbed the handle and slowly turned it, then got out and headed towards the living-room without closing the door behind her.

Shizuo, who in the meantime had moved the chair in the corner so that he could lean against the wall, nearly jumped to his feet when he saw her leave the lab. Fighting back the urge to go to her, he slowed down his breathing in order to keep his presence hidden and observe her for a bit longer to see what she was planning to do.

Izaya limped out of the hallway while leaning against the wall, her back hunched from the pain. She never felt Shizuo's presence, too focused on trying to walk. She knew that Shinra was an idiot who kept buying clothes that Celty never wore, so she looked around the living-room in hope of finding some she could wear. In the dim light, she saw something on the couch, so she moved to check it out. Her fists clenched in the material while cursing Shinra to hell and back. _Count on the pervert to buy Celty a high-school uniform._ She threw it back and went to look for something else, but when she found nothing she was forced to go back to it.

"Where the hell is my jacket??" she spoke a little to loud, immediately clamping a hand over her mouth at the mishap. She dropped the sheet that covered her and grabbed the short skirt. "You perverted son of a bitch," she said through clenched teeth.

Shizuo nearly moaned at the sigh of her sweaty naked body glistering in the moonlight. He felt like an animal, and he cursed his dick for seemingly having a mind of its own.

Small whimpers left Izaya's mouth as she struggled to put on the clothes. She was at least glad that the costume had underwear to go with it. She didn't know what she would've done if she found a nurse or maid outfit instead. _Probably go and kill Shinra in his sleep._ At least she had thigh-high black socks to cover most of her legs, and that made her feel slightly better.

Shizuo on the other hand found her looking so sexy that it took everything in his power to not get up and ravage her right there on the couch. He watched her leave the apartment once she had finished dressing, then he got up, his mind set on following her. He thought about waking Shinra up and telling him that Izaya had ran away, but since she seemed so keen on getting out of there by herself he decided against it.

Once Izaya was outside the apartment building she straightened her back and forced herself to walk properly. She couldn't completely hide the limp, but it was better than crawling on the ground, which was exactly what Izaya felt like doing at that moment. Her hands were clenched into fists, her knuckles turning white from the sheer effort it took to walk while she was in so much pain, her mouth shut so tightly that her jaw hurt.

Her hand moved to grab the phone in her pocked so that she could call a cab, but then she remembered that she didn't have her jacket and that she had no idea where her cell phone was. _I also don't have any money,_ she grimly realized. Going back to Shinra was not an option, so she started walking in the direction of her own apartment, her mid-section protesting in agony each time she took a step.

She still couldn't believe that Shizuo had raped her. Then again, that was exactly why she hated him. Shizuo was not like most humans, because he was a monster, and she wasn't good at dealing with creatures whose actions she couldn't predict.

She noticed the odd looks people were giving her as they were passing by, and that's when she figured that she must've had a black eye or something. She looked at her wrists and saw the bruises there as well, black, blue and purple covering her once white skin. Luckily, the shirt had long sleeves, so it mostly covered the evidence of her abuse. As for her legs, she could see some there as well on the uncovered skin between the thigh-high socks and the skirt, but it didn't really bother her. She decided to get off the main streets in hope of not running into anyone she knew because the last thing she needed was for someone to recognize her. It wouldn't be good for her business. If anyone were to find out what happened to her then they could use the information against her. Blackmail was not unheard of, Izaya herself having done so a few times in the past. She was panting heavily now, the effort of simply walking sapping her of her strength. She was starting to doubt that she could even make it to her home before passing out from exhaustion. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she accidentally ended up running into someone. "I'm sorry," she said and continued walking.

"I'm not too convinced that you're sorry," the man said.

Izaya turned around and was about to ask what was his goddam problem when she saw a few more guys closing in on her.

"Maybe you should show us just how sorry you really are," another one said, and Izaya immediately picked up the hint. She felt her fear spike, but underneath it she felt boiling rage. Orihara Izaya loved humans, so how did these humans that she graced with her love dared to look at her with such lustful eyes? The way she loved humans was different than the way they loved each other. They didn't have the right to love her that way.

"Did you hear what I said bitch?"

"Why would I pay attention to the buzzing of insufferable insects?" said Izaya and forcing a smirk on her face.

"Wow, the bitch either has guts or she's nuts," one of the men said and chuckled at his own words, pride filling him at having said something that rhymed so well.

"Wow bro, that was good," said the shortest one of them all and they all started laughing.

Izaya just sneered in contempt.

Then the man she had ran into earlier raised his hand to touch her shoulder and that's when all hell broke loose. Izaya punched him in the face, hard enough to break his nose. The other men attacked her as well, punches and kicks flying around between Izaya and the bunch of morons that she wished she could squash underneath her shoes. Those men might've had more strength than she did, but she was agile even as she was sporting heavy injuries all over her body. Her muscles screamed in protest every time she moved too wildly, but it didn't matter to her anymore. All she wanted to do was to punch their ugly faces until the bones would cave in, and then some more. She knew that she could never hurt Shizuo in a brawl, so instead of that she decided to hurt the pathetic horny fuckers that got in her way.Unfortunately, one of them managed to land a lucky hit to her stomach and she staggered backwards, almost falling to the ground from the sheer force of it.

"Wow, this bitch is tough," said the one wearing a green jacket.

"Dude, I don't know why, but she looks familiar," said the one who appeared to be the youngest of them all.

They were all panting now, trying to come up with a way to get their hands on her without getting hit again. She had a lot of strength for such a little girl.

Izaya's grin stretched from one ear to the other. "You fuckers got nothing on that monster," she said, and as soon as she saw an opening she dashed so quickly between two of them that they barely had time to react.

They immediately started chasing after her, unwilling to let their prey escape.

"Catch her!" screamed one of them and they all ran after her.

Izaya kept running with everything she had, trying her best to ignore her body demanding for her to stop and rest. She was starting to tire out, the men chasing after her almost succeeding in grabbing her a few times. Then, just as she was turning around a corner, she ran into one of them, the man immediately pinning her against the wall with his entire body while the others quickly gathered around them.

"Man, I told you it was a good idea to take the shortcut," said one of them.

They all laughed like morons while Izaya was struggling to escape from the clutches of the one pinning her to the wall. "If you don't let me go I'm going to make you wish for death!" she growled.

They all laughed again and two of them grabbed her arms to keep her in place. The one who had captured her backed off, not before giving her ass a hard squeeze.

Izaya was starting to have a panic attack. There was no way these pathetic humans beings would've ever managed to catch her had she not been beaten up and fucked so violently by Shizuo. The one holding her right arm licked her cheek and she almost threw up in disgust as his sour smell hit her. She heard them arguing about who gets to fuck her first, and when she felt a cold hand rubbing her thighs she stiffened.

"Wow, she's bleeding a bit down there," said the one who was molesting her. "Maybe it's that time of the month."

There was silence for a while, Izaya's heart beating so wildly inside her chest that she wondered if it would rip through the ribcage.

"Nah, it can't be that. Look at her, she's covered in bruises. I think someone else screwed her before us."

"Maybe we should let her go," said the youngest of the bunch.

"Tch, why the hell would we do that?" asked the one into whom Izaya ran a few minutes earlier.

"Because she looks familiar to me, but I can't put my finger on it. I have a bad feeling about this."

"That's bullshit, who gives a fuck who she is? Right now she's just another whore for us to fuck. If you're such a chicken then fuck off and never show your face here again."

The kid shut his mouth but didn't walk away.

"So, as I was saying, she was the one who ran into me, so I should go first."

The others protested for a while longer but eventually they gave up.

"I don't care when I get my turn as long as I'm first to get her ass," said the one with the green jacket and they all snickered.

Izaya felt hands between her legs and her skirt being lifted. She pushed herself further into the wall to escape the touch, but there was only so far she could go. Rough hands traveled up her thighs and she trembled, then she started struggling as she heard the sound of a buckle unfastening and of clothes rustling. She started screaming for help, but she lost her voice when she was grabbed by the hair, her head getting banged so hard into the wall that her vision went black.

The next second she heard a sickening noise of something breaking just above her head and she felt warm liquid hitting her face. Then she heard screams and she was suddenly free and falling to the ground, her knees too weak to support her weight. There were more screams of agony and sounds of bones being broken, and the last thing Izaya felt before she passed out were strong hands pressing her up against a broad chest.


	3. Consequences

Shizuo was not good at following people, so when Izaya got off the main road he immediately lost her. He started looking for her frantically, but it wasn't until he heard her call for help that he knew in which direction to head. He wasn't surprised to find those men all over her, the skimpy outfit she wore practically screaming 'Rape Me' any day of the week. He lost it and, as a result, he crushed the offenders, only sparing a glance behind him as he walked away with Izaya in his arms. The flea was his to hit, to fuck and to kill, so when he saw those disgusting sleazebags all over her he went berserk. He smashed heads, broke limbs, and walked away victorious with his prize.

He looked at the bundle in his arms and was relieved to know that he had managed to find her in time. The last thing Izaya needed was to get gang-raped. He cringed at the thought. He considered taking her back to Shinra but he gave up on that thought as soon as he remembered that it was Izaya herself who had slipped out of the man's apartment in the middle of the night and he guessed that she probably had her reasons for doing so. He would've preferred to take her home, but because Shizuo had no idea where she lived he was left with no other choice but to take her home with him. His pace quickened, the cold air viciously biting into his skin.

He took a cab back home, and as soon as he reached his apartment he proceeded to inspect Izaya after setting her down on the couch. Besides the injuries he had inflicted on her earlier that day, the only thing that was new seemed to be a scratch on her head that still seemed to be bleeding. There was also some blood between her legs, and while some of it had dried, there was still fresh blood seeping from down there. Shizuo was sure that he had found her before they had a chance to do anything to her so he assumed that the damage had been done previously that day by him alone. If he took away the fact that she was Orihara Izaya, and that he hated her guts, then all that was left was an injured young woman. Guilt was gnawing at him again, so he shook his head to chase away the thoughts. He got up and went to get a cloth and some warm water to clean her up, the blood of the scumbag whose head he smashed into the wall and splashed all over Izaya bugging him to no end.

Once he got back he proceeded to take off her clothes. He pulled down her socks, the action revealing milky white skin covered in bruises; however, those were nothing compared to the ones he found on the upper part of her body. Her wrists were black and purple, while her hips had a few large palm prints from where he'd grabbed her during the act. He cringed at the sight, realizing how much it must've hurt. It really was no wonder that women avoided him like the plague if he was capable of doing something so horrible. He cleaned her body gently, mindful of her injuries. He was extremely grateful that she didn't wake up during all of it. Once he was done he rummaged through his closet and pulled out a pair of pajamas. They were way too large for Izaya, but she needed clean clothes, so he had no choice but to put those on her. He then laid her into his bed and covered her with a blanket. Next he brought a chair back to his room and sat down to watch over her. When she was like that, sleeping in his bed and not out there trying to destroy lives, Izaya actually looked cute. Shizuo shook his head and almost felt like punching himself in the face for thinking that way. Izaya was a bitch, the bane of his existence, there was no way he had just thought she was cute. He ran a hand through his hair and wondered how Izaya was going to react once she woke up. _Probably not good,_ so he sure as hell wasn't looking forward to it.

 

* * *

 

Izaya woke up as the rays of the rising sun hit her cold skin. She opened her eyes slowly, cringing as the events of the previous night started to come back to her. She remembered some douchebag was about to rape her, and then nothing.

She suddenly jolted from the bed, realizing that she had no clue where she was. Her eyes searched frantically for any clue that would help her with her predicament, but as she found nothing she decided it was best to flee the scene before someone found her. The pajamas were too big for her, so she stumbled as she walked out of the room. She couldn't figure out where she was, but the smell inside the house seemed familiar. She gingerly touched her head as a wave of pain hit her, but that was nothing compared to the pain she still felt from Shizuo's abuse. There was however no time to dwell on such things, because her priority was to get out from wherever the hell she was.

It was then when the door to the bathroom opened, and Shizuo, who was wearing nothing else besides a pair of sweatpants, walked out of there while drying his hair with a towel.

Izaya screeched in shock, making Shizuo drop the towel in surprise. Before he could say a word she dashed to what appeared to be the kitchen and grabbed a knife, immediately pointing it in Shizuo's direction.

"Izaya, wait, this is not what it looks like!"

"How could you?! Again? Didn't you have enough?" she screamed, her eyes burning with hate.

"I didn't do anything!"

Izaya's body shuddered. "How... how can you say that?"

Shizuo ran a hand through his wet locks in frustration. "That... is not what I meant. Do you remember anything from last night?"

"How could I ever forget?" said Izaya, her voice filled with venom.

"I meant after I... after that, you know," said Shizuo softly.

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Shizuo. "I remember I left Shinra's apartment and then _―_ "

"Some scumbags caught you. I rescued you and brought you to my place because I don't know where you live."

Izaya snorted. "If you expect any thanks from me _..._  then don't. I fucking hate you, and I want you to die!" she said and attacked, taking Shizuo by surprise.

Shizuo didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had, but he could barely restrain his anger at being attacked. "Stop it before I get angry," he growled, trying really hard to dodge the attacks.

Izaya didn't listen and instead kept slashing at her most hated enemy until Shizuo finally got sick of her antics and smacked the knife out of her hand before pinning her to the nearest wall.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said through clenched teeth, their faces so close to one another that their noses almost touched, "but if you don't stop attacking me, then I won't be able to hold back. You know what happened the last time I went all out on you."

Izaya whimpered pitifully.

"I don't want a repeat of that, and I'm sure you don't want either, am I right?"

Izaya nodded frantically.

Shizuo smiled and pulled away from her. "Good."

Izaya slumped to the floor in shock, her body trembling like a leaf in the wind.

"As I was saying, I only brought you to my place because I didn't know where you live. You're free to leave anytime you want."

Izaya wanted to say something but she couldn't find her voice. She wanted to get up but she couldn't make her body to obey, so instead she just sat there on the floor, frozen on the spot.

"Hey, are you alright? Do you need any help?" said Shizuo when he saw that she wasn't moving.

"Why?" she finally managed to ask.

"Why what?"

"Why did you rescue me?"

Shizuo sat on a chair opposite of Izaya. "I feel bad about what I did to you yesterday. I'm sorry."

There was silence for a few seconds until Izaya awoke from her stupor. "You're sorry?!" she yelled, her hateful eyes boring holes into Shizuo. "Did you just say you're sorry?! You son of a bitch! You think that saying sorry is going to make any difference?" Trembling in rage, she pushed herself off the floor and punched Shizuo in the face.

Shizuo growled but didn't fight back.

Izaya hit him again, harder this time, succeeding in making his already broken nose bleed again.

Shizuo blocked the third hit, his eye twitching. "You'd better stop."

Izaya didn't care though, because she was beyond rational thought, so she tried to hit him again.

Shizuo lost it, so he grabbed her and flung her hard into the wall, her body slumping to the floor from the powerful hit to the head. "God dammit flea! I told you to calm down!" said Shizuo and bent down to pick her up.

Izaya was breathing heavily, her eyes glazed over from the pain.

Shizu could only watch as she unsuccessfully attempted to get up.

He was about to pull her up when the front door flew out of its hinges and the cops stormed inside, guns in their hands ready to shoot if he so much moved an inch.

"What the hell _―_ " said Shizuo, his mind scrambling to understand what was going on.

"Get on the floor, now!"

Shizuo growled but did as he was told, knowing that even he couldn't survive if he got shot by more than one of them.

One of the cops handcuffed Shizuo and helped him up. "Heiwajima Shizuo, you are under arrest for the assault and battery of Tetsuo Yamazaki, Ito Hashima, Toushirou Ichinose, Rei Ichinose and Ogami Ichimaru. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense. Do you understand your rights?"

"Yeah, but who the hell are those guys?" asked Shizuo.

"You should know. You almost killed them last night," said one of the cops.

Shizuo cursed under his breath. _Well, fuck, I'm screwed._

"Hey miss, are you ok?" one of the cops asked Izaya after he approached her.

Izaya lay there on the floor, unresponsive.

The cop turned to Shizuo. "What did you do to her?"

Shizuo stayed silent, his eyes downcast.

"Wow, you really are a monster," he said incredulously, then turned to the other officers. "Take this scum to where he belongs while I see to the young lady here."

They nodded and left, dragging a half-naked Shizuo after them.

The young officer pulled out the phone from the pocket of his jacket and called for an ambulance. He dragged a chair further away from the table and sat down. It was best to wait for professional help instead of moving her in case something was broken. He took in the image before him as he waited for the ambulance. It pained him to see such a beautiful woman with so many bruises covering her body. "He really did a number on you," he told her, not really expecting an answer.

The ambulance arrived fifteen minutes later and she was taken to a hospital.

Shizuo remembered the fight from the previous night as he was taken to the police station. He cringed at the memory, only now realizing that he was in a lot of trouble. He cursed his monstrous strength once again, because it always caused him problems and he hated it with a fiery passion. The thought of trying to escape crossed his mind, but he wasn't sure that he could make it out alive. It was one thing to go against baseball bats, crowbars and other such things, and an entirely different matter to dodge bullets. The risk was too high, and thus the chances of success were too small.

Perhaps it was karma, he thought, for what he had done to Izaya. He deserved to be in jail after all. It didn't mean that he was happy about it, but sometimes life had ways of badly screwing you over. Even Izaya got screwed over, well more like just literally fucked, and if that wasn't karma then Shizuo didn't know what the hell it was. He glanced around him. "Hey, do you guys have a cigarette?"

The cop flanking him on the left side of the backseat pulled out a pack and handed one to Shizuo before he lit it up.

"Thanks man, I appreciate it."

"No problem. By the way, they barely survived you know. What did they do to make you so angry?"

"They touched something of mine."

"Huh? They stole something from you?"

"Not exactly... never mind, forget about it," Shizuo said and cringed when he realized that he had just thought of Izaya as being his. Considering what he had done to her, it was way beyond fucked up.

They spent the rest of the way in silence, and once they arrived at the station Shizuo was led to the interrogation room. He knew one or two cops would arrive shortly to interrogate him, so he took the time to fix himself up a bit. His hair was a mess, so he ran his hands a few times through blond locks until it didn't look like he'd just been electrocuted, and then he sat back down on the chair.

Soon enough the door opened and one cop entered.

"Good morning Heiwajima Shizuo-san. I'm Inspector Sawazaki Kotaro. You know why you are here, yes?"

Shizuo nodded.

He sat down and put a file on the table. "It says here that you have been arrested before, correct?"

"Tch! I was innocent, someone pinned that crime on me."

"I see. Let's not talk about that for now. How about you tell me what happened last night?"

Shizuo didn't know what to say. If he were to involve Izaya, then he would probably only dig his grave deeper. Assault and battery were bad enough, but if they added rape into the mix then he'd probably end up wasting the best years of his life in jail.

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me anything? What did those man do to you to deserve such cruel beating?"

Shizuo grit his teeth. "They..." he started but didn't finish.

"Yes? Go on please."

"They attacked a woman," he finally said.

The officer urged him to continue, but seeing how the younger man was silent, he decided it was best to keep asking questions.

"What was this woman's name? Do you know her?"

Shizuo gnawed on his lower lip in frustration. Revealing Izaya's identity as the women being attacked by the five men was a big NO.

"Heiwajima-san if you don't reveal the name of this mysterious woman then we have no base to believe you. You will be charged with assault, battery and perhaps even murder if one of them ends up dying, and then you will get sentence to many years in prison. Is that what you want?"

"No..."

"Then tell me her name and if you don't know her then please describe her to me so I can start looking for her."

Shizuo refused to talk after that no matter what the Inspector said or did.

Seeing how he couldn't get anything out of Shizuo, the man got up and left, but not without promising to come back later.

Afterwards, two officers came in and took Shizuo to a holding cell filled with drunkards. Shizuo ignored them and sat down near the bars.

God, he was so screwed, a screwed up hypocrite, he thought. He had almost killed five people for touching Izaya, yet he had been the one to brutally beat her up and then rape her. Yes, he was feeling regret over it, but that didn't change the fact that it had felt extremely good. What he truly felt bad about was making Izaya's first time that traumatizing. He could only hope Izaya would be fine.

Izaya allowed herself to be manhandled as pictures of her injuries were taken by a female officer. She was still too weak to fight back, and the additional cop waiting outside the door didn't exactly help things either. She was so pissed off that she was close to punching the damn nurses who refused to leave her alone. Whatever had happened to her was none of their business, but unfortunately they didn't seem to understand. She felt sick when she caught a glimpse of the bruises on her hips and she cursed Shizuo again. "Where are the clothes I was wearing when I was brought here?" she asked them.

"They're in that bag over there," said one of the nurses and pointed to the chair.

Izaya would not leave them behind. No, she would take them with her, then burn them to ashes. She felt indignation at having been forced to wear his clothes. Who the hell did Shizuo think he was to decide things by himself? She didn't need his filthy clothes! Just the thought of Shizuo's hands touching her body again making her shudder.

"We are done here," said the female officer and the nurses helped Izaya into the hospital gown before they all left the room.

As soon as they were out the door, another police officer entered. "Hello, my name is Masao Shun. I'm here to ask you a few questions."

Izaya merely turned her head away. She truly did not wish to tell him anything.

"I'm sorry if this is too soon but I have a report to write."

Izaya spared him a glance. "That man... Heiwajima, he was arrested, right?"

"Indeed. He almost killed five people last night."

Izaya's eyes widened. "So that's why he was arrested?"

"Yes, but from what I see we need to add one more charge to his name," said Masao.

She stiffened at his words.

"I was told you were... raped."

Izaya suddenly felt really dizzy. "I wasn't..."

"Miss, you shouldn't try to hide this. If you do this then he won't pay for what he did to you. Don't you want Heiwajima Shizuo to stay behind bars for a long time?"

Yes, Izaya wanted Shizuo to suffer, but she didn't want to be dragged to court where she would have to share the story of her abuse with a bunch of strangers.

"Let's start with something easier. How about you tell me your name?"

She started shivering, suddenly very afraid at the thought of people finding out what happened to her. "No, no!" Izaya screamed, her hands wrapping protectively around her body. "Leave me alone!"

"I will leave you alone if you tell me your name."

"Kanra," she hissed when she figured that she had no choice but to tell him something. Izaya didn't want to tell him her real name so she lied instead. Yes, Izaya thought, Kanra had been the one who had been raped and beaten up; Kanra was the victim, not Orihara Izaya.

Seeing how he was upsetting her, Masao decided to leave, because it was obvious that he couldn't get her to talk. "I will come back later. You will tell me your full name and where you live when I come back, right?"

Izaya nodded even though she had no intention of doing so. Her body shook as she remembered the events of the previous night. She had been so close to being raped again... there was no way to survive another rape so soon after Shizuo had her way with her in such a brutal way. She was strong but there was a limit to how much she could take before breaking into pieces.

As soon as the officer was out the door she collapse on the bed, making herself as small as possible. She was so ashamed that it was painful. She was stupid enough to believe that she could handle herself even after the abuse Shizuo put her through, but her attempt had miserably failed. The five men who attacked her wouldn't have been an issue for her in the past, but the night before she hadn't been able to lose them. To make things worse, Shizuo had been the one to save. She couldn't understand why he did it. Shizuo was supposed to hate her guts, not go around saving her and then apologizing for raping her. It just wasn't right, and even if he truly was sorry, she had no intention of ever forgiving him. She would find a way to make him pay.


	4. Home Again

Izaya barely had any energy to move, but she didn't want to stay in the hospital any longer. As soon as she was out of the room, she went around the hospital looking for some clothes she could snatch from one of the doctors. It didn't take her long to do. She couldn't wait to get home and burn the monster's clothes personally. She could hardly stand carrying them around, especially when they smelled so much like him. This time no one stopped her as she walked down the streets, and after what seemed like forever she finally got home. Only then did it hit her that she didn't have her keys, but she knew that Namie was in there, so she knocked on the door. "Open up Namie, it's me Izaya." She couldn't help but be surprised at how far gone she had been the night before if she didn't even realize that she didn't have her keys.

When Namie opened the door her eyes slightly widened at the sight of Izaya's injuries, but she quickly recovered and walked back inside.

"Aren't you going to ask what happened?" said Izaya.

"It's none of my business."

"I see. Take the day off. I need some time to clear my head. Also, cancel all my meetings with clients for the next two weeks."

"That's not a very good idea. They won't be too happy about it."

Izaya sat down on the couch. "I don't really care, just do as I said."

"Fine!" said Namie and turned around to make the phone calls before she left.

Izaya got up and rushed to her room from where she grabbed some clothes to change into before she ran to take a shower. As soon as she was inside the bathroom she took off the stolen clothes and threw them on the tiled floor. She turned on the water and sat down in the bathtub, a sigh escaping her lips as her sore muscles started to relax. She winced a bit as some injuries hurt but she really needed a bath so she tried to ignore the pain as much as possible. She stayed there for a while, just trying to calm down, until her thoughts went to Shizuo and she cursed him again. Her head hurt so much that she could hardly think, but it was to be expected considering how many times her head came in contact with a hard surface in less than twenty-four hours. She feared that Shizuo might give away her name and tell them what happened, and that almost made her dizzy. Shizuo deserved to be punished, but not if it meant that people would find out about what happened to her, to Orihara Izaya. The thought alone was mortifying. Unable to sit around any longer without knowing what exactly was happening, she quickly washed up, dressed and got out of the bathroom. To her surprise, Namie was still there. "You haven't left yet?" asked Izaya.

"I will now, I just finished making the calls. Also, I ordered some fatty tuna for you, I left it on your desk," she said, then got up and made her way to the door.

"Whoa, it must be the end of the world or something," said Izaya, amusement clear in her voice.

"Tch! I figured you might want to eat something. I didn't poison it today if that's what you're worried about."

Izaya smiled. "Ohhh, so you do poison my food any other day."

"Who knows..." said Namie and left.

Izaya was grateful that Namie was her usual self, because the last thing she needed were looks of pity from those around her. The fact that the woman had ordered fatty tuna made Izaya smile. It felt good to finally be home. She sat at her desk and grabbed a piece of her favorite food, then frowned. "This is going to be a very long day..." she said out loud, then jumped out of her seat as someone banged on the door.

"Izaya, open up! I know you're in there!"

Izaya stiffened when she recognized Shinra's voice. She wasn't ready to see him just yet, not so soon after he... after he saw her like THAT, so weak and powerless.

"Izaya!"

Her hands clenched into fists.

"Open up, or I'll have Celty bring down the door! I know you're in there, I met Namie on my way here."

Izaya rose from her chair and walked to the door on shaky legs. As much as she didn't want to see anyone she knew she had no choice but to open unless she wanted her apartment to lose the door. With a trembling hand she turned on the lock and opened to door, catching Shinra with his fist in the air as he was about to bang on it again. His eyes widened slightly, and in the next second he flung himself at Izaya and hugged her tightly. "I was so worried about you, I thought _―_ ," then he suddenly stopped his rambling and immediately released her when he felt her stiffen within his arms. "I'm sorry," he said, his eyes filled with sadness. " I didn't mean to hurt you. I know I shouldn't have touched you."

Izaya's eye twitched in annoyance. The idiot was treating her like she was made of glass, and that was exactly why she didn't want to open the door in the first place. She sighed dramatically and finally spoke: "My shoulder is sore, that's all, don't worry about it."

Shinra scoffed. "Right, your shoulder..."

"Tch! You're being annoying. I'm fine! You can leave now," she said and dismissively waved a hand before going back to her desk.

"Izaya, please!"

Izaya glared at Shinra, her wild eyes almost making him shiver. "What Shinra? WHAT?!"

"You're not FINE," he said through clenched teeth. "You're anything but fine. What happened? Why did you disappear in the middle of the night?"

There was only silence.

"Oh god, did Shizuo... again... Izaya!" he yelled and slammed his fists onto the desk. Izaya flinched at the sound, which made Shinra suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable at seeing her do that. Izaya wasn't supposed to EVER react like that. "I'm sorry," he finally said, "I'm really sorry."

"It not your damn fault!" she snapped. "Stop apologizing. Stop it please, just stop it."

Shinra winced at her words. "Alright, I understand."

Izaya almost felt guilty for being so hard on him when it was obvious that he was only worried about her. Shinra was quite the mystery with his care for her, because Izaya knew for a fact that Shinra did not love humans. Then again, perhaps Celty and Izaya herself were special to him. The man took a knife to the gut for her in high school, and if that wasn't proof that he cared in some form on another, then what was?

Shinra sighed dramatically and sat on the couch. "What happened to that idiot? I sent Celty to his place earlier. She should be there right about now."

Izaya snickered.

Shinra quirked an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

"Well," said Izaya and grabbed another piece of the fatty tuna that Namie had ordered for her, "the idiot was taken away by the police."

"What?" Shinra screeched. "How? Why? Wait, did you _―_ "

"No, not because of me."

"Then why?!"

"After I left your apartment last night I was attacked," said Izaya and took a deep breath before she continued, "but then Shizuo showed up and beat them within an inch of their lives."

Shinra smiled. "That's crazy, Shizuo saving you and all that."

"He even told me he was sorry," said Izaya, a malicious grin almost splitting her face in two, "but not nearly as sorry as he'll be when I'm done with him."

Shinra kept shifting nervously on the couch. Shizuo wasn't just anyone; he was one of the few people he actually gave a damn about. He hated how the only two people he could call friends ended up hurting each other. It made him feel uncomfortable. Shizuo had indeed hurt Izaya in a horrible way, but Izaya shouldn't have poked the sleeping tiger that was Heiwajima Shizuo. She knew very well his volatile nature, but instead of keeping her distance she did everything in her power to drive him mad. The angrier Shizuo would get, the more Izaya enjoyed it. He could only hope there was some way to mend this without one of them killing the other. Shinra's eyes wandered to Izaya again. "Maybe he really is sorry," he said, and the angry glare sent his way almost made him jump out of his skin.

"That is irrelevant," said Izaya and started spinning in her chair. "I'm going to make him wish for death before I'm done with him."

The dark chuckle that left Izaya's mouth made Shinra shiver. He got up and approached her desk, then pulled a small plastic container out of his pocket. "Here," he said, and placed it on her desk, "you'll be needing this."

Izaya stopped spinning and glared daggers at both Shinra and the small container placed on her desk.

"You're welcome," said Shinra when he noticed that Izaya was refusing to talk to him any longer, then turned around and left. As soon as Shinra was out the door he called Celty and told her to stop looking for Shizuo because he had been arrested. He could almost see her wince at the news, knowing full well how much the police frightened her. Shinra found the whole thing quite silly considering that Celty was a Dullahan who wouldn't die even when shot. He couldn't wait to get home to his beloved, but before that there was someone he had to see and he knew exactly where to find said person. He headed down the streets of Shinjuku and didn't stop until he arrived at an old factory. There was a swarm of people there, and Shinra briefly wondered if he would be able to find him. "I need your help sir!" he said to the first bodyguard he ran into.

"What do you want?" the man nearly growled, obviously trying to intimidate Shinra into backing off.

"I'm and old friend of Yuhei Hanejima, can you please tell him that I'm here to see him? It's quite urgent. My name is Shinra Kishitani."

The man almost looked amused. "Yeah right."

Shinra grit his teeth, already at his limit. "It concerns his brother Heiwajima Shizuo, so I would really appreciate it if you would stop being a dick and go fetch Yuhei for me."

The man's eye twitched and Shinra briefly wondered if perhaps he had gone too far.

"Hanejima-san is filming, so he can't meet with anyone right now."

Shinra snapped. "That's exactly why I'm here! He always turns his phone off when he's filming, so I can't reach him!"

"That's none of my concern, please leave!"

I was then when Shinra saw Kasuka somewhere in the distance, so he started yelling his name from the top of his lungs.

The bodyguard immediately tried to silence him but luckily Kasuka heard the commotion and headed his way.

"What's the problem?" Kasuka asked the bodyguard just as he saw him tackling someone to the ground.

"Ughh," Shinra moaned in pain from underneath the burly man. "Heeelp! It's me, Shinra."

"Hanejima-san, do you know this man?"

"Yes, please let him go."

Shinra was hauled to his feet and the bodyguard dusted him off as an apology for the whole thing.

"Ca we go someplace private? It's about Shizuo."

Kasuka's eyes widened just a bit, and that was the most emotion Shinra had seen on the man's face in a very long time. Kasuka was an amazing actor, but his acting skills were a contrast to his usual self who seemed incapable of emotions. Shinra knew better though, Kasuka loved Shizuo, he just had a hard time expressing his feelings.

"What has my brother done now?" Kasuka finally asked when they were alone, his face an emotionless mask.

"He's in jail, and I believe he will stay there for a long time," he said and he could swear that he saw Kasuka's hand tremble for a second, but he couldn't be sure his eyes hadn't betrayed him.

Kasuka looked straight into his eyes. "Why?"

Shinra winced a bit at the question. It was not his business to tell him what happened, because neither Shizuo nor Izaya would appreciate it, but Shizuo needed his brother's help. "He got arrested for beating up five men," Shinra finally said.

"My brother beats up people all the time, so why is this time any different?"

Shinra sighed. "It seems these guys were hurt pretty badly."

"I know that Shizuo loses control easily, but it looks to me like there's more to it than you’re letting on."

Shinra bit his lip but kept quiet.

"There is much more to this than what you're telling me, isn't there?"

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to talk to Shizuo about it. I gotta go now, see ya," said Shinra then waved good bye, leaving a stunned Kasuka behind.

The perception of time being relative was something that Kasuka couldn't stop thinking about. As he kept looking at his watch every few minutes, he couldn't help but wonder if the universe was conspiring against him to make the filming last longer than usual. Each time the director asked them to do a scene all over again he would get so nervous and twitchy that even his co-workers ended up noticing that something was wrong with him. When asked about it he would simply brush aside their concerns, saying that nothing was wrong and that he was merely tired. Judging by their suspicious looks, they didn't quite buy it. Kasuka didn't care though, and as soon as they were told the filming was done for the day, he rushed straight to the police station. He hoped to relax a bit once he'd be able to see his brother, but he was shocked to find out that his brother had already been moved to the Pushu prison where he was to wait for his sentence. No reason was given as to why this happened.

Kasuka wasn't one to feel strong emotions, because to him they felt numb, and yet, as he was told his older brother had been sent to jail, he felt a really strong pain in his chest. He didn't like it; he wasn't used to feeling that way, and he immediately concluded that if feeling emotions like the rest of humanity was so painful, then he was better off without them. He knew that his brother getting sent to jail so soon after his arrest was not normal; he needed information, and there was only one way to get it. He pulled out the phone from his pocket and went through the numbers he had in the phone's memory to find one that he hadn't used in a very long time. He put the phone to his ear and waited for Orihara Izaya to pick up. She didn't though, and Kasuka wondered if perhaps she had changed her number in the meantime. Slightly irritated, he ended the call and got up, his two bodyguards following suit.

If he couldn't get in contact with Izaya then he would go to the person who certainly could. His brother and Izaya hated each other, he knew as much, but both of them were friends with Shinra Kishitani. He could've called him, but he thought that talking face to face was a better idea. Once the car pulled in front of Shinra's apartment he told his bodyguards to wait outside while he went in and knocked on the man's door. The door opened and Kasuka was met with the sight of a very surprised Shinra.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" said Kasuka instead of answering the question.

"Of course, please come in."

Kasuka went inside and sat on the couch. "My brother was taken to Pushu prison," he said before Shinra even had a chance to sit down.

"What?! Why?" asked Shinra with a shocked expression on his face.

"They didn't tell me why."

Shinra finally sat down. "That's strange."

Kasuka's fists tightened in the material of his jacket. "I was hoping you would give me Izaya's number because she's the only Informant that I know."

Shinra's expression suddenly went really dark, something that Kasuka didn't miss. "Shinra...?" he called his name when the man seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.

"Ah, I'm sorry," he said and forced a smile on his face. "It's better to leave Izaya out of this."

"I know she hates Shizuo, but I'm willing to pay however much she asks," said Kasuka.

Shinra shifted nervously. "Your brother and Izaya had a really nasty altercation recently, so I don't recommend involving her in this situation."

Kasuka sighed and let go of the hold he had on his jacket. "I know very well how much they hate each other, but I also know that Orihara Izaya takes her job seriously and that she wouldn't let something like her hate for Shizuo get in the way of a well-paid job."

"You'd be surprised," said Shinra with a frown on his face.

"Even if you say that, I don't know what else I can do," said Kasuka, exasperation clear in his voice.

"I'll look into it. Izaya might be the only Informant that you know, but I know a few others besides her," said Shinra with a smile on his face, trying to reassure Kasuka.

Kasuka didn't look reassured though.

"I'll call you as soon as I find something," said Shinra.

Kasuka nodded and got up. "I'll leave my phone on during filming too from now on, so don't hesitate to call me."

Shinra got up as well, put his hand on Kasuka's shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. "Don't worry, I'm sure Shizuo will be fine, he always is." He led Kasuka to the door, then went back and collapsed on the couch, wishing that Celty was there so that he could hug her tightly until he'd feel better, even though she would probably smack him for even trying. He sighed and closed his eyes, knowing too well that nothing was going to ever be the same again when it came to his two annoying friends. He was worried about Izaya, and he couldn't help but wonder how she was doing.

Unknown to Shinra, Izaya wasn't feeling well at all. After he had left, Izaya went online to check if there was any information on Shizuo's arrest. She didn't find anything, but she wasn't really surprised. The Dollars chatroom was also quiet. She tried to eat the fatty tuna, she really did, but she started feeling sick after the third bite. Pain flared in her backside and she got up, wanting nothing more than to lie down. She slowly walked to her room on shaky legs and then crawled under the covers. She felt really cold and she couldn't stop shivering. A sob escaped her sore throat as images of the day before plagued her mind. She knew that she was safe in her bed, inside her house, yet she was still afraid. Izaya had never been afraid before, so the feeling felt foreign and suffocating. She had worked hard to rise to where she was, only to get brutally slammed back down by Shizuo. That was a scary thought in itself. She knew he was unpredictable, so why was she surprised that Shizuo had raped her? She cringed at the mere thought of the word 'rape', and she made a mental note to not even think about it anymore.

There was no doubt that she would get revenge for what she had been forced to go through, but she needed to find a way to punish Shizuo from a safe distance because she doubted she could ever again stand before Shizuo without feeling physically ill. The fact that Shizuo could best her had never entered her mind before because she had always been certain that her intellect could easily win against Shizuo's brute strength. She should have known better. She curled tighter in on herself and stayed like that for a while, barely able to suppress the urge to empty the contents of her stomach.

She'd been into fights before, so when Shizuo had started throwing kicks and punches at her inside the warehouse she didn't think much of it. Getting her ass kicked once in a while was something that Izaya had come to terms with over the years. Izaya knew that she was a good-looking woman, so she always made sure to hide much of her beauty in order to not tempt the men she had to deal with when working. The possibility of getting assaulted had crossed her mind back when she started her business, and that was exactly why she cut her hair short and wore baggy clothes, but then there was Shizuo and his accursed strength. The moment she had lost her switch she knew that she had lost to Shizuo, but she never imagined what would happen afterwards. Shizuo had treated her horribly, as though she was nothing more than an object. He made her feel weak and powerless... _used._ The first time Shizuo had taken her had been a traumatizing experience, but the monster didn't stop there, no, because he went ahead and took her again like a beast. Izaya had no doubt that Shizuo would've taken her at least one more time if she hadn't told him that she had been a virgin before he had taken her so savagely, and that was exactly what made Izaya furious. So what if she had been a virgin before? Why apologize to her because of that? Shizuo was a goddamn hypocrite if he thought that it was alright to rape her if she was a whore, but wrong if she was a virgin. It made no sense to her.

She cringed, remembering how she said never to use that word again, and she absolutely HATED the fact that Shizuo had been the one to save her from those assholes she had ran into. She cursed and cursed Shizuo for a long time until finally succumbing to a feverish sleep.


	5. From Bad To Worse

_Ok,_ thought Shizuo, _something is definitely wrong._ As far as he knew, prisoners who awaited for their sentence were supposed to be taken to detention centers, not to Pushu prison which was reserved for the most vicious of criminals. He looked at the booklet in his hands again and sighed. Soon after the detective left the interrogation room earlier that day, he received a not so pleasant visit from a bunch of cops that seemed intent on hurting him as much as possible. Shizuo wasn't one to get easily subdued, but getting tased multiple times didn't exactly help his cause. Then, while his body was still twitching from the aftershock of the electricity being forced into his body, he was dragged outside and hauled into a van, then dumped into a small cell at Pushu prison. He didn't know how much time had passed before he was able to move again but once he did a guard threw a booklet through the bars of his cell and told him to read it and follow the rules to the letter. He didn't tell him what would happen if he didn't, but Shizuo had a pretty good idea what to expect. His eyes went to the booklet and he started reading.

 

**APPENDIX I**

_"Handbook for Life in Prison"_

Pushu Prison

 

**APPENDIX A**

_Introduction_

Starting today you are in the position of being a prisoner in the Pushu prison. In this prison there are two thousand and several hundred people interned. A prison is a place where―

 

Shizuo stopped then and dropped the booklet. The guard outside looked at him, smirked, then turned around, as though he was hoping that Shizuo would break the rules.

 _To hell with everything,_ thought Shizuo. There was no way he'd follow some of the ridiculous rules he'd heard about from some people who had been in jail before. They should've been grateful that Shizuo even allowed them to take him into custody in the first place. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, wondering when he'd get some food because he was absolutely starving. He fell asleep after a while, and when he woke up again it was to the boot of a warden stomping on his chest. Shizuo growled and made a move to grab the offending foot, only to get hit repeatedly in the head with one of those batons the cops love to use.

The guard backed up after a while, and Shizuo looked up to see the asshole he was about to kill. "Since you hit me in the head, it means you were trying to kill me, and if that's the case, then I see no problem in returning the favor," said Shizuo and got up slowly.

"On your knees, now!" the guard barked at him.

Shizuo lunged himself at the asshole he badly wanted to hurt. He never reached him though, because someone had once again tased him. He dropped to his knees in pain, his teeth clattering hard from the onslaught of pain.

"I believe this dog still needs some training," said the guard who had tased Shizuo out of the blue. The other one chuckled and both of them proceeded to drag Shizuo out of the small cell and into a larger one that held five more convicts. They unceremoniously dropped him in the middle of it, then left, leaving Shizuo amongst dangerous criminals.

It took him a while to be able to open his eyes again, but as soon as he did he growled when his eyes met the disgusting leer of one of his new cellmates. "What the hell are you looking at?" said Shizuo a bit too loud, noticing how two of his cellmates winced at the sound of his voice. The one leering didn't say anything, and just as Shizuo was trying to get up he saw the guards from earlier rushing back in.

"Are you going to follow us willingly or should I tase you again?"

Shizuo gulped. He didn't like being electrocuted, and he wasn't sure his body could stand more of such abuse. "I will follow," he said, then followed the two guards down the corridor and into a large room.

"We were going to be nice and let you keep your hair because you haven't been sentenced yet, but since you broke one of the rules from the booklet I gave you earlier, then there will be no more privileges for you."

Shizuo paled. There was no way they were going to cut his hair... _right? RIGHT?_ "I won't allow it!" screamed Shizuo from the top of his lungs and rushed towards the one with the pistol, intending to either crush the thing to pieces or to get his hands on it and use it against the assholes before him, whichever one happened to be first. His hand was almost upon it, but just as he reached to grab it the guard dropped the thing and threw himself at Shizuo so hard that they both lost balance and fell to the floor in a heap.

The guard who had given him the booklet earlier rushed to the pistol and grabbed it, immediately pointing it in Shizuo's direction. "Prisoner 318668, remove your hands from Yamado-san, now!"

Shizuo cursed under his breath and stayed down while the third man in the room helped the asshole guard back to his feet.

"I see we have a new troublemaker Okuro-san," said the tall and bald new guy.

The one named Okuro tightened his grip on the taser. "Get up and sit in that chair over there," he told Shizuo, a malicious grin plastered on his ugly face.

Shizuo mumbled something but sat on the chair nonetheless.

"Cut his hair real good Amazaki-san," said Okuro. "He's an unruly dog, but I think we'll eventually train him just fine."

Shizuo just growled at the insult but didn't say anything. He wasn't stupid enough to allow himself to get tased a third time in such a short period of time. As much as Izaya kept claiming he was a monster, Shizuo had always known that he was only human. Sure, he had insane strength, but it didn't mean that he couldn't get hurt. Each time he remembered the extended periods of time he was forced to spend in the hospital with broken bones made him cringe, the memory of the pain still vivid in his mind. He wasn't a doctor, but he was sure that there was a limit to how many times he could get tased before his heart would finally give out. He tried to console himself with the thought that it was just hair, and that it would grow back eventually, but it didn't exactly work. He cringed at the sight of him in the mirror as his dyed hair was slowly cut away, and for the first time since he arrived to prison he truly wished that he was anywhere else but there. It was one thing to fight punks on the streets, but it seemed like these guards knew exactly how to immobilize him, and that taser they had was not an ordinary one either. He didn't like it, because it made him feel vulnerable, and that wasn't a feeling he was familiar with.

"Get up," Yamado said once they were done stripping away his last remnant of individuality. "You will follow us quietly, won't you?"

Shizuo nodded slowly, a bit ashamed at how defeated he probably looked at that moment. He followed them out the door, but instead of being led to the cell with the other convicts he was taken to a new one, a much smaller one that Shizuo wasn't sure would even be big enough to properly roll out a futon on. He was then pushed into the cell, the bars closing behind him with an ominous sound. He turned around, and, to his displeasure, he was met with the sight of Okuro who was still there glaring at him.

"Sit in the seiza position while facing the door and keep your eyes closed," the man said in a harsh tone.

Shizuo scoffed and leaned against the wall instead.

"Prisoner 318668, either you follow the rules or we will have no choice but to enforce them through whatever means we deem necessary."

Then, to Shizuo's horror, Yamado appeared again behind Okuro, pistol in hand, grinning like a madman. "Ah, ah, you're already missing my buddy here, the almighty pistol? Please do fight all you want."

Shizuo mumbled something but sat down as he had been instructed.

Okuro then crouched until they were eye-level. "Keep your eyes closed, and do not open them unless I allow you to."

Shizuo kept quiet and closed his eyes as instructed even though he could barely suppress the impulse of getting up and raising hell, everything be damned. Truth be told, he did feel weak, the lack of food combined with getting electrocuted repeatedly making his muscle spasm and twitch in pain. Even his hands were shaking a little, and Shizuo briefly wondered just what kind of taser were they actually using on him because a normal one was only supposed to immobilize him without inflicting pain. His thoughts wandered to Izaya, and he wondered how she was doing.

 

* * *

 

Izaya moaned in pain as she woke up the next day. She had a splitting headache and she could feel pain shoot up her spine each time she moved. With her mouth as dry as sandpaper she reached for the bottle she kept on the nightstand. She turned the cap with shaky hands and greedily drank the water inside until there was nothing left. She let the bottle fall from her hands and she collapsed back on the bed, her arm going up to cover her eyes from the too strong light. She stayed like that for a few more minutes, until she finally found the strength to get up.

She remembered she forgot the fatty tuna out, so the first thing she did was throw it away. She went back to her desk and glared once more at the container that Shinra left on her desk. She knew that she should probably use that after taking a bath to lessen the pain in her backside, but she didn't have the energy to even take off her clothes. She sat on the chair at her desk and opened her laptop, checking the Dollars chatroom first. There were still no news on Shizuo, and Izaya found that quite surprising. She was about to email one of her contacts in the Police Department when she heard a knock on the door. She got up reluctantly, but before she could even check who it was she heard the voice behind it calling out her name. She shivered a bit but opened the door nonetheless.

"Orihara-san, you're not answering your phone," said Shiki and motioned to the other two men who were with him to wait there while he went inside the apartment with the Informant.

Izaya's heart beat wildly inside her chest, the realization of how screwed she was almost making her wish she could bolt past the Awakusu-kai guarding her door and run to safety. What had happened between her and Shizuo messed up her plan of screwing with him by using Mikiya's daughter, and now they somehow knew and Shiki was out for blood. "I lost my phone," then a slight pause, "please sit down Shiki-san," said Izaya, her voice a bit shaky. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You know very well why I'm here."

Izaya wanted to screamed that it was not a good time to even have this conversation, but she knew well enough not to further push Shiki's buttons. "I don't know what you're talking about," she finally said as she sat down on the chair behind her desk.

Shiki's cane, the one he sometimes borrowed from a member of the organization when he had to deal with a troublesome person, hit the floor hard, making Izaya flinch at the sound. "What were you thinking when you decided to use Mikiya's daughter for your own twisted plans? Did you perhaps think that we wouldn't find out?"

Izaya gulped, her knuckled turning white from how hard she was clenching her fists. "Really Shiki-san, I would never do such a thing."

A dark chuckle went past his lips and Izaya had a sudden urge to flee, the tight grip she now had on the edge of the desk being the only thing that kept her grounded.

Shiki got up and slowly walked towards her, not stopping until he was right behind her chair. She immediately stiffened at the closeness, and when Shiki's hand went around her neck she tried to get up and away from the offending hand, only to get her face banged against the desk as Shiki pushed her down. She yelped in shock and started struggling for all she was worth, the desperation in her voice as she was asking him to let her go taking Shiki by surprise. He released her and moved away from her, feeling a bit bad for doing such a thing. He didn't usually attack people like that, but he was so mad that someone would dare to use Akane that he simply couldn't think straight anymore.

"Don't... don't touch me again!" said Izaya, her whole body shaking.

Shiki was shocked at how pale and afraid she appeared to be because the usual Izaya radiated confidence.

"I can't do this right now," said Izaya in a meek voice as she pushed herself off the chair and almost ran back to her room. "Close the door when you leave," she told Shiki just as she closed the door to her own room.

Shiki stood there stunned for a moment, unable to comprehend what had just happened. He could almost swear he saw a tear running down Izaya's face as she turned around, but it seemed such a crazy thing that he had a hard time trusting his own eyes. He blinked, then decided to leave their discussion for another time.

As soon as she was inside her room Izaya's ear went to the door, listening intently to see if Shiki would leave. When she heard the door close she slowly allowed herself to drop to the floor, then she put her arms around her knees and took a deep breath to calm down. She was more surprised at her own reaction than that of Shiki. Although the man was a part of a powerful underground group, he always treated others with respect. It was the first time since Izaya had met him that Shiki got angry enough to physically try and harm her. She laughed bitterly at her own stupidity, wondering why she thought that using Akane to harm Shizuo would ever be a good idea. Everything just seemed to backfire at her.

She didn't know how long she stayed down on the floor hugging her knees, but she almost jumped out of her skin when she heard the doorbell. She scrambled to her feet and slowly opened the door to her room, then tip-toed to see who it was. For a second the thought that Shiki came back crossed her mind, but that thought went out the window the moment she saw who it really was. Her eyes widened and she gasped in shock, but her hand went to the doorknob anyway. "Yuhei Hanejima, or better said Kasuka Heiwajima, to what do I owe the pleasure?" asked Izaya in a surprisingly calm tone.

"Izaya-san, I need information and I know you're the best at acquiring such a thing."

"Please do come in."

Kasuka went inside and sat on the couch while Izaya took her usual spot.

"Courtesy of your brother," she said when she noticed Kasuka kept looking at her bruised face.

"I'm sorry," he said and lowered his head.

Izaya shrugged. "Not your fault." She eyed the younger man suspiciously, then closed her eyes and tried to keep her voice from faltering while speaking to him. Kasuka was Shizuo's brother after all, which meant that it wasn't easy to even look at him without remembering what Ikebukuro's beast had done to her. "You need information on what exactly," she finally asked.

Kasuka looked Izaya straight into her eyes. "I need information on my brother."

"W-what about Shizuo?" asked Izaya, stammering a bit.

"My brother was arrested less than two days ago and even though he hasn't been convicted yet he was sent to Pushu Prison. I find that suspicious and I want you to find the one who is behind this and why."

Izaya gasped at the news, relief flooding through her at the knowledge that Shizuo was locked somewhere far away. At the same time, her inquisitive mind couldn't help but wonder who did Shizuo piss off besides her. She looked at Kasuka bitterly and almost wished that she could tell him what his brother had done. She knew how much Shizuo loved his little brother, so revealing his sick nature to his beloved sibling would destroy him. It was a shame that Izaya herself was the victim, otherwise she would've absolutely enjoyed to see Shizuo devastated when Kasuka looked at him with disgust. It was useless however to dwell on such things. The best thing to do was to move on and to take care of the problem at hand. "I accept," she finally said as she got up, went to her desk and typed something on her laptop. She had a contact in the Police Department, so she emailed the man with what she needed and a promise to pay a good sum of money if he came through. She raised from her chair once she was done and walked towards Kasuka who also got up. "I will call you as soon as I find something."

Kasuka nodded and she walked him to the door, then went back to her desk, picked up the laptop and went to her room. She sat crossed-legged on her bed and waited in front of the laptop for the email with the information on Shizuo. Not even five minutes passed before she sighed in frustration, closed the laptop and decided it was best to take a bath. She went back to her desk, retrieved the small plastic container that Shinra gave her, grabbed a clean set of clothes and entered the bathroom. She turned on the water and winced when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't turn away from it, the person in it looking like a complete stranger to her. She ran a hand through her hair and her eyes fell upon the bruised wrists. "Damn you Shizuo," she said out loud and moved to sit in the bathtub, wishing she could wash away Shizuo's taint on her body.

 

* * *

 

No matter how he looked at it, Shiki thought that Izaya deserved to be punished for what she had done, but before he did anything too rash he decided that it was best to calm down. Besides, Izaya's reaction had been absolutely strange, which meant that something else had the Informant spooked. Knowing Orihara Izaya, that something must've been something indeed because Izaya was one of the few people that Shiki truly considered to be fearless even in the face of danger. He did notice the bruises on her face and on her wrists as she was flailing about, but that was hardly enough to scare someone like Izaya. He sighed and closed his eyes, knowing it wouldn't be long before his guest would arrive.

"Shiki-san, your guest is here," one of his subordinates said.

"Celty-san," said Shiki and got up to properly welcome her, "please make yourself comfortable." He motioned to a chair in front of his desk and Celty sat down.

[ What did you call me here for? ] she wrote on her PDA before showing it to Shiki.

"Celty-san, as I said, it's okay to make yourself comfortable."

[ ... what do you mean? ]

"What I meant is that it's okay to remove that while you're here," said Shiki and pointed at her helmet.

If Celty had a head, she would've gasped, but as things were she could only tense and sit there frozen on the spot for a few seconds until she finally figured that it wasn't a big deal if she did what Shiki had suggested.

One of Shiki's men cried out in fear while the rest just gasped in surprise or shock when Celty removed her helmet. Before any of them even knew what was happening, Shiki got up, grabbed the crying man by the neck and bashed his head against a corner of the desk. The man cried out again, this time in pain.

"You will apologize for being rude to our honored guest, won't you?" he said, looking the stunned man in the eyes.

The man frantically nodded and hurried to apologize to Celty.

With that out of the way, Shiki once again sat in his chair. "Celty-san, I need something from you. I hope you will accept my request."

[ What is this request you speak of? ]

"It's nothing complicated, I assure you. I only need you to keep an eye on Orihara Izaya, and if, by any chance, you happen to find out who is the person that has her so spooked, then I'd be grateful if you'd inform me immediately."

Celty tensed, her fingers hovering above the buttons of her PDA as though she was unsure of what to say next.

[ I don't think I can help you with that... I'm sorry. ]

"Oh..." was all that Shiki said, but for some strange reason he was a bit amused. "You do know who it is, don't you Celty-san?"

[ I don't know anything! ] she typed furiously.

"I find it hard to believe that you'd withhold such information in order to protect Orihara Izaya. In fact, as far as I know, she isn't your most favorite person in the world."

Celty's shoulders sagged. [ I can't help you Shiki-san. ]

Instead of being annoyed, Shiki merely grinned. "It's okay, whoever that person is I doubt he's scarier than Dougen Awakusu."

[ What are you trying to say?! ]

Shiki turned serious again. "Orihara Izaya thought that she could mess with the Awakusu family and come out unscathed." Then, to his surprise, Celty started typing on her PDA again, her whole posture indicating how nervous she was.

[ No, please, leave Izaya alone, she has suffered enough. ]

"Oh?"

[ The price she paid for her sins was a heavy one. ]

Shiki's eyes narrowed as he looked at the headless rider. It was a known fact that Celty could hardly stand Izaya, so for her to go as far as to beg him to leave Izaya alone meant that whatever Izaya had gone through was a lot worse than Shiki had first assumed.

"I can't make any promises," he finally said, then took a small pause before speaking again, "but I will do my best to keep Izaya's involvement a secret."

[ Thank you! ] Celty typed, her posture relaxing once more.

"I guess we are done here," Shiki said and got up. “Please escort the lady out," he told one of his subordinates.

As soon as Celty was out the door he sat back on his chair.

"Shiki-san, is it okay to keep this a secret from Dougen-dono?" asked one of his subordinates.

"It's fine, for now," Shiki said, then went back to contemplating the mystery of Izaya's fear.


	6. A Chance Meeting

Shizuo lacked patience. Even the smallest of things could set him off into a fit of rage which usually meant broken bones, either his or those of his opponents, blood and destroyed city landscape. To put such a wild thing into a tiny cage and ask him to stand still was like telling a tornado to suddenly stop spinning. Things just didn't work that way. Even something as simple as someone looking strangely at him could set him off, and Shizuo wondered how long they were hoping he'd stay quietly in that cell before he decided he had enough and proceeded to remodel the prison. To make things worse, he wasn't even allowed to lie down or lean against the wall. No, he could do absolutely nothing besides sitting down in the seiza position _―_  on his knees, legs under him and hands on his legs. On top of that, he wasn't even allowed to open his eyes. There was only so much Shizuo could stand before losing it, and he briefly wondered for how long he had been sitting like that in his cell. It could've been minutes, hours, days, he really had no idea, the muscles in his legs crying in protest at being forced to stay in such an uncomfortable position for so long. His eye started twitching and he grit his teeth in an effort to calm down before he went Hulk on their asses. At how angry he was at that moment he could easily end up killing one of the guards. Judging by the lack of nasty body odor and of movement in front of his cell, Okuro was somewhere else. Shizuo cursed under his breath, wondering how much longer he could last before finally getting up and taking a piss. His hands tightened into fists and he started shaking, the urge to relieve himself too much even for him. He hesitated for a minute longer before he finally got up and relieved himself, a sigh escaping his lips.

Before he could even finish Okura appeared out of nowhere and started yelling at him. "Prisoner 318668, you are not allowed to move without permission!"

The asshole startled Shizuo hard enough that he ended up dirtying the floor of the cell with his urine. Shizuo's whole body shook in rage, and as soon as he finished he threw himself at the bars, the metal bending under the inhuman force. Okuro, who until then was trying to open the cell to teach the inmate a lesson, yelped in shock and tried to back away only to get grabbed by his jacket and smashed head first into the bars. Shizuo was beyond reason, so he kept kicking and bashing the bars, trying to get out, just like how a wild animal would fight to escape the cage it's been put into. He saw Okuro on the floor, moaning in pain, blood from his head pooling under him, but he didn't care, because Shizuo was seeing red, not even noticing the other guards rushing towards him.

A few of them gasped in shock at seeing the destruction Shizuo was capable of, then hurried to pull Okuro away from the insane beast. Yamado appeared with the taser in hand not even a minute later. He jumped towards the prisoner, pressed it against his thigh while dodging Shizuo's hands which were trying to grab him, and finally tased him.

Shizuo dropped like a sack of potatoes, twitching on the floor of his cell. The guards breathed in relief and a few of them dragged Okuro away while Yamado and two more picked up Shizuo and carried him to a more secluded part of the prison. They knew Shizuo was strong, but they had no idea he was that strong. He was a danger to everyone, prisoners included and he needed to be isolated. Once they were there they dropped him on the floor and Yamado started looking around for something to restrain him.

"I don't think leather will be enough to restrain him," said the youngest guard.

"I think we're going to need chains, a bunch of them," said Yamado, and the third guard went to look around for some. "This guy is a monster."

The other nodded and kicked Shizuo in the side while he was still unconscious. "I've never seen anything like this before."

Yamado's eyes went to the taser in his hand. He didn't know from where it came, but the warden had given it to him, saying that it was only to be used on prisoner 318668 in case he didn't follow the rules. Whoever had given the taser to the warden was probably someone powerful because such a thing wasn't even on the market yet. He doubted it would ever be as long as the thing was made to cause a lot of pain and not just immobilize a target.

 

* * *

 

Knowing that Shizuo was locked away made Izaya feel much safer, so when she woke up the next day she was already starting to feel better. She really wanted to retrieve her phone, and with Shizuo away from Ikebukuro's streets she had the confidence to go there and hopefully find it. She opened the closet and looked around to see what she could wear. She was already missing her favorite furred jacket, but she also had a coat, so she didn't exactly lament the loss. Her eyes fell upon a pair of pants and another one of jeans and she thought bitterly about how useless wearing baggy clothes and hiding her body had been. She grabbed a tight pair of pants and an equally tight shirt, threw them on the bed and went ahead to put some make-up on her face to hide the bruises. By the time she was done she was surprised to see how good she looked, as though nothing had ever happened, but she knew better. Shizuo had damaged her body, but she would never allow him to damage her mind as well. _No,_ Izaya thought, _I am strong,_  and she hoped that she could pull through. She put on the pants and the shirt and looked into the mirror again. She hadn't really studied herself in a long time, but now that she looked closer she could understand why Shizuo could even get it up for her considering how much he hated her. Her body was fit from all the parkour she did, and even though she was small in size, she still had a feminine figure - small waist, nice hips and the breasts seemed just the right size. Yes, her body had been tainted, but she was still an attractive woman. She grabbed her wallet, a new flick blade and the spare keys from the nightstand, put on her boots and coat and left the apartment, trying to ignore the pain in her backside and to stop herself from wincing each time she took a step.

Once outside she took a cab to Ikebukuro and asked the driver to stop at the spot where Shizuo had caught her and took away her switchblade. She paid him then got out, a chill running down her spine at the mere memory of that day. She wasn't even there yet, inside the warehouse, but her heart was beating wildly inside her chest. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and walked towards the warehouse following the same route Shizuo took that day. She was so focused on trying to get there without breaking down that she yelped when someone touched her shoulder, immediately jumping away from the unexpected touch, switchblade in hand ready to strike. Even when she saw who it was it took her a few seconds to push down the fear enough to calm down and put the switchblade back into the pocket of her coat. "Ce-Celty, h-hello," said Izaya stuttering.

[ Hello! I'm glad to see you're feeling better. ]

Izaya's eyes widened a bit, the dread she was feeling making her legs turn to jelly. "Y-You know...?" she asked, her voice meek.

[ ... I do. I'm sorry. ]

Izaya's eyes turned to the ground, shame now replacing the dread she had felt mere moments before.

Celty took a step forward and gently put her hand on Izaya's shoulder, trying really hard not to swell on the reason why the other woman flinched at the gesture. [ You're a strong woman, you have nothing to be ashamed of. ]

Izaya finally raised her head and Celty could see tears starting to form in her eyes.

"That's what I used to think," she said brokenly, "but I don't think that anymore."

[ That's not true! You're the strongest woman I know! ]

"Not nearly as strong as you. If only... if only I was as strong as you then Shizuo wouldn't have been able to _―_ "

Celty gently shook her.

[ You're a human being, I'm not. You are strong, please believe me. ]

Izaya smiled a bit, a sad smile that didn't suit the Informant at all. "Indeed, I'm only human after all..."

It was weird for Celty to hate seeing Izaya so broken because she had never really liked the women before, but she couldn't help but feel sorry about what she had been forced to go though. Celty was strong, but she understood fear, and to her it looked like Izaya was really afraid. [ Where were you heading before I interrupted you? ]

Izaya shivered a bit. "I dropped my phone that time so I am going to try to find it."

Celty froze for a few moments, hoping that Izaya wasn't going back to where it all happened. [ You can't possibly be going to... to that place, right? ]

"I have to," said Izaya, her lips set into a frown. She needed to face her nightmare in order to move on.

[ I don't like you going there by yourself. Do you want me to give you a ride? ]

Izaya gave it some until she realized that she didn't really mind if Celty accompanied her. She nodded and sat on the bike behind Celty. "I'll tell you which turns to take to get there."

They rode in silence except for the occasional "turn right" or "turn left" from Izaya. It took less than five minutes to get there, and Izaya realized that back then she should've screamed for help instead of letting herself get dragged away by Shizuo. She got off the bike and walked towards the warehouse, Celty following suit. "This is the place," she told the other woman and simply pushed open the door. She shivered as she walked inside and she turned to see if Celty was still behind, her mere presence a most welcome comfort.

Celty immediately started looking for the phone, wanting to get it over with fast so that she could take Izaya away from there. She could see Izaya's body tensing each time she saw blood around the place and it really made her want to beat Shizuo to a bloody pulp. The phone didn't appear to be on the ground, so she approached Izaya. [ Perhaps you didn't lose it here. ]

"No, it has to be here, I'm sure of it," she said and slowly walked towards the table placed on the left side of the warehouse. The closer she got to it the more she wanted to turn around and run far away from there. There was more blood on the table than on the ground, and Izaya instinctively wrapped her arms around her torso and closed her eyes, the pain of seeing up close the place where she had been humiliated in the worst possible way making her sick.

Celty immediately approached her and gently squeezed her shoulder. It looked to her like the woman was struggling just to keep stand, so she wanted to be there to catch her in case Izaya's legs gave out from under her.

"I... this is..." said Izaya slowly, struggling to speak and to open her eyes in order to face her worst nightmare.

Celty put her right arm around Izaya's shoulder and the other one on her left arm. A few smoky shadows sprang from underneath the helmet and she used them to type on her PDA. She nudged her softly on the shoulder and she put the PDA in front of Izaya's eyes as soon as the woman opened them. [ Let's get you out of here, ok? ]

Izaya shook her head. "No, I think I know where it is," she said and raised her head to look at Celty. "Under the table, it has to be there."

[ Can you stand up by yourself while I retrieve it? ]

Izaya nodded and Celty reluctantly let her go to look for the phone. The Dullahan crouched to check under the table and she almost felt sick herself at the trail of blood on the ground and the bloody palm prints on the wall. The phone was there, so she used her black smoke to grab it, a shiver running down her spine at the feeling of Izaya's dried blood on the small communication device. She rubbed her hand over the phone a couple of time to get rid of some of the blood but she wasn't successful. She turned around and handed it to Izaya who was still as white as a ghost.

Izaya forced a smile on her face before she grabbed the phone with a shaky hand, almost dropping it in the process. "I thought I could come back here and not be affected by it..." she said bitterly while grabbing a plastic bag from her pocket and putting the phone inside. Then she suddenly turned around and almost ran out of the warehouse.

[ Are you ok? ] Celty asked Izaya once they were both outside.

"I just needed some fresh air. I should be going back now."

[ Wait! ]

"Yes?"

[ Let's go to Shinra. We'll order some food and then we'll all eat together. ]

"But I'm not hungry."

[ Lies! You look like you haven't eaten in days. Come on, let's go. ]

Izaya felt dizzy for a second at the thought of having to face Shinra again but she took a deep breath and decided to follow Celty. She really didn't want to be alone, at least not so soon after being inside the place of her nightmares. They both got on the bike and they spent the rest of the way in silence. Izaya was still not too fond about having to face Shinra again so soon, but he was her friend and she really didn't want to keep feeling uncomfortable around him. The thought of him seeing her like that was mortifying, but knowing Shinra, he had probably seen a lot worse before. Her attention switched to the present as soon as Celty opened the door and they both stepped inside. Shina was already running to welcome Celty home but he stopped in his tracks the moment he saw Izaya. He smiled and Izaya's eyes widened as soon as she figured what he wanted from her when he spread his arms. It took her a moment to get her body to react, but when her limbs started listening to her again she walked forward and hugged him, Shinra wrapping his arms tightly around her, then stroking her hair gently.

"You'll be fine," said Shinra softly.

Izaya nodded and hugged him tighter. It felt like forever before she finally let him go, but she couldn't remember any time in her life when she needed a hug more than she did right then.

"You're skin and bones. When's the last time you ate?" he asked after Izaya stepped away from him.

"I don't remember," she answered honestly.

Shinra gave her an incredulous look. "That's no good, we'll have to fix that. Sit down while I order something to eat. What would you like to have? Fatty tuna?"

"No," said Izaya as she sat on the couch. "I'd like to try something different."

Celty sat down next to her. [ Why don't you try some pizza? ]

Izaya tilted her head and considered it for a moment. "Hmm... sure, let's go with that."

"Got it," said Shinra and went for the phone.

It was warm inside the apartment, so Izaya got up, took off her coat, placed it next to her on the couch, then sat down again.

"Wow! That looks good on you!" said Shinra as soon as he came back and saw her. "These clothes suit you better."

Izaya shrugged. "I needed a change."

Shinra wanted to complement her some more but the phone rang and he had to go answer it. Celty got up as well to check her email since she was expecting one from a client.

Izaya made herself more comfortable and closed her eyes. She liked to believe that she didn't need any friends, but sometimes she knew that even someone like her needed people to be there for her when things got too hard. She sank into the comfort of the couch and sighed in relief. The couch was so soft that it did wonders to her poor backside; she'd definitely have to ask Shinra from here he bought it.

Celty came back not even five minutes later only to find Izaya sleeping. She turned around and went to the lab where she found Shinra still talking on the phone. He smiled when he saw her but kept talking for a while longer while she patiently waited.

"Sorry, it was important," he said after putting the phone down.

[ It's fine, I just wanted to tell you that Izaya fell asleep. ]

Shinra clapped his hand at the news. "Good! She needed some rest anyway. In fact, she shouldn't even be walking around yet. She should be in bed, recovering."

[ That doesn't sound like Izaya. ]

"Let's go for a walk and leave her alone to get some rest."

[ What about the pizza? ]

Shinra chuckled. "Let's go", he said and grabbed her hand. "We'll wait outside so the delivery guy won't wake her up, then we'll leave it for her on the table."

Celty nodded. They both tip-toed out of the apartment and just as they were about to close the door behind them the pizza arrived. They paid the guy, set it on the table, and left on what Shinra liked to beieve was a date, not knowing that not even ten minutes later Shiki would arrive at his apartment seeking his help.

The man had gotten injured during a fight and he desperately needed to get the cut cleaned and stitched. Hospitals were out of the question, so the underground doctor was the only logical choice. He told his underlings to wait outside, then went up to Shinra's apartment. He knocked on the door a couple times then took out the key and opened it himself when no one answered. He assumed that Celty was most likely out on some errand and that Shinra was cooped up inside his lab. What he didn't expect however was to find Orihara Izaya sleeping on the couch.

Shiki ignored the sleeping Izaya and sowly moved to the lab in order to not wake her up. He didn't find anyone there, so he figured that both Celty and Shinra had to be out. He sighed and began cleaning his own wound before it got infected. If need be he could even stitch it himself but he was hoping that Shinra would come back before he was forced to take such extreme measures. His injury aside, he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with Izaya lately. First she had tried to use Dougen's grand-daughter for her own schemes only to fail miserably, and then she seemed to have gotten herself into something that really got her freaked out. Shiki knew that Izaya was someone who only did things for her own benefit, hence why he didn't like to ask her for information. She would sell the same information to his enemy, and then watch as they killed each other for her own amusement. And yet, against all odds, someone appeared to have succeeded in scaring the one that Shiki considered to be close to fearless. That aside, the cut on his arm hurt like hell. He clenched his teeth and proceeded to stitch it up himself because if he were to wait for Shinra to come back he could end up bleeding out. It was painful, and Shiki almost wished that he would've gone to the hospital instead, but eventually he finished, a sigh escaping his lips the moment he was done. With a shaky hand he put on some bandages and then his suit back on. He figured there was no point in staying any longer, not when his men were probably waiting for him, so he got up and proceeded to slowly walk towards the door, trying once again to not wake Izaya up. As he passed her by he couldn't help but notice her new choice of attire, and briefly wondered what had caused such a change. It was none of his business though, so he turned around and was about to walk away when Izaya suddenly woke up.

"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice shaking. She got up and quickly put some distance between her and Shiki, then grabbed her switchblade and hid it behind her back. "Is this about Akane?"

"Why must you always think that everything is about you?" he asked, clearly annoyed, then turned around on his heels.

"What?" she said, a puzzled look on her face.

Shiki sighed again and pointed to the injured arm with his still working hand.

Izaya put the switchblade back into the pocket of her pants and gave Shiki a smile. "It would appear I overreacted. You must however admit that I have my reasons to be cautious around you."

"Indeed, there is still the issue of you using an innocent little girl for your twisted games," Shiki bit back and wished that he could punch her in the face because of the sickly sweet yet fake smile plastered on her face.

"You could hardly call it a twisted game. Besides, nothing happened after all; it's best not to dwell on the past," said Izaya.

The next second Shiki lunged at her, grabbing her by the throat and pinning her to the wall. He knew that Izaya could stab him with the switchblade because he hadn't secured her hands, but it did not matter since his intention was to scare her more than it was to hurt her. He wasn't at all surprised when the sharp edge of the blade was pressed against his neck, nor did he release his hold on her. "Orihara-san, the only reason that nothing happened was because Heiwajima Shizuo went missing," said Shiki and tightened his hold just a bit harder.

"Let me go," said Izaya through gritted teeth as she pressed the knife harder into Shiki's neck. Shiki grinned then, and Izaya was stunned for a second at how menacing the man could actually look. She knew he was dangerous, but she had no idea just how dangerous he really was. "Let go!" she screamed and tried to push away from the wall.

Shiki pushed her hard back into it and moved close enough to whisper into her ear. "If you ever again mess with the Awakusu family you will regret ever having been born. I will personally make sure of that. Understood?"

Izaya chuckled, taking Shiki by surprise. "If I'm not mistaken, I seem to be having the advantage right now. I could slit your throat before you could even have a chance at choking me to death."

"You could, but you won't," he said and released his hold on her neck. "You've been warned." He then turned around and left the apartment, not even bothering to look back.


	7. Weak And Powerless

As soon as Shiki went out the door Izaya rushed to the couch and collapsed on it; she should've known that Shiki wouldn't let it go so easily. She shivered, her skin crawling at the memory of his touch and she wished that she could've slit his throat. It was a shame their altercation took place in Shinra's house, otherwise she might not have hesitated. Izaya usually got people to kill each other instead of killing them herself, but there was a start for everything. She noticed the pizza and her stomach growled in response. With the last bit of her strength she got up and brought the pizza box back to the couch, then took a slice and slowly began to chew on it. It wasn't that the pizza wasn't delicious, or that she wasn't hungry, but she somehow didn't have any appetite. She sighed in annoyance, put the slice back inside and pushed the box away. She curled in on herself and closed her eyes once again, feeling that she needed sleep a lot more than she needed food.

She had no idea for how long she had slept, but when she woke up again it was to the noise of someone banging on the door. Her heartbeat increased at not knowing who was behind it and she decided that it was best to stay silent and to pretend that no one was home. Her hope was shattered however when she heard a voice and recognized it as being Kasuka's. She got up and went to the door to let him in. "Before you ask, I don't know anything yet."

Kasuka walked past her and sat on a chair. "How is that possible?"

"Indeed, usually I get my information much faster than this. I am equally surprised. I'm still waiting for my source in the Police Department to email me. That aside, why are you here if you don't mind me asking?"

Kasuka closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. "I went to the prison today but they refused to let me see my brother."

"Oh? That's strange," said Izaya and moved closer to sit on a chair next to Kasuka.

"Exactly! He hasn't even been sentenced yet!"

"Did they give you any reason as to why you can't see him?"

"They said he attacked some guards, but can you blame him?" said Kasuka, sounding more than a bit exasperated.

Izaya tensed at the question, immediately averting her eyes away. The younger Heiwajima had no idea what his brother was capable of, so of course he'd think that Shizuo was somehow being wronged. If anything, Izaya thought that Shizuo wasn't suffering enough for what he had done to her. She laughed bitterly as she looked at Kasuka again. "Your brother isn't a saint, you know that, don't you?"

Kasuka stayed silent for a while.

"Your brother is probably being treated a lot better than he deserves," Izaya continued.

Kasuka narrowed his eyes and looked Izaya straight into hers. "You're no saint either. I know what you've done to my brother over the years."

Izaya lost it and banged her fist hard on the table. "You don't know your brother," she said and smiled bitterly. "He's a monster, Heiwajima Shizuo really is a monster."

Kasuka sprang to his feet and grabbed her arm before Izaya could even react. "You loved to drive him crazy, didn't you?" he hissed, and was a bit shocked to see how Izaya had recoiled from his touch. The next second Izaya slashed at him with her switchblade and Kasuka barely had time to dodge the attack. His eyes widened in disbelief and he raised his hands to try and look as non-threatening as possible.

Izaya was breathing heavily, her eyes livid. "Don't ever touch me again," she hissed and moved further away from her aggressor.

"Please calm down. I apologize for touching you. I give you my word that I will never do so again."

Izaya slowly lowered her arm and put the switchblade back into her pocket. "Get out!" she spoke harshly.

Kasuka nodded and left Shinra's apartment, knowing that he had badly screwed up and wondering if Izaya would still help him obtain the information regarding Shizuo.

Izaya waited five more minutes then picked up her coat and left as well. It was obvious that she would find no peace at Shinra's place. She found it ridiculous how easily people scared her and she wondered if she could ever again stand in the same room with another person without having the urge to flee. It was laughable how pathetic she became because of one man.

 

* * *

 

 _This is Hell. No, this is worse than Hell,_ Shizuo thought as he moaned in pain for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He couldn't help but wonder what could he possibly have done to deserve such a cruel fate. He remembered freaking out in his cell, not without reason mind you, and then the next thing he knew he was tased again, only to wake up in chains in a tiny cage. It was so small that he could only fit if he knelt, and he briefly wondered how they had succeeded in shoving him inside while he was still unconscious. _It couldn't have been easy._ But no, that was not the worst part of it. It was the chains that truly bothered Shizuo and the way he was tied up. His right hand was tied to his chest and the left one against his back, and as if to make it all a thousand times worse, if he so much as tried to stretch his arms he would end up choking himself to death with the chain placed around his neck that was connected to the cuffs around his wrists. In conclusion, unless Shizuo was eager to die a slow and painful death, he had no choice but to stay like that until he was allowed to get out. He rested his head against the bars of the cage and grit his teeth against the pain in his muscles. Sitting in such a position for so long was pure torture, and never in his life had Shizuo wished more than anything to at least be allowed to stay in what was considered to be a normal cell. Compared to the cage, the cell was Heaven. It wasn't just his legs that hurt, but his arms as well from being forced into such an uncomfortable position for hours on end. He couldn't even remember the last time he had felt so weak and he wished that he would at least be allowed to eat something. The last time he had eaten something was the accursed day in which he took revenge on Izaya.

He didn't even have words to express how much regret he felt for what he had done to her. When Izaya had woken up in the middle of the night back at Shinra's apartment Shizuo clearly remembered how mesmerizing she appeared to be in the moonlight. He shouldn't have allowed her to leave the apartment that time because it was that night when he had almost killed five people for her. He could still clearly remember how possessive he had felt, and to have those animals touch her like that made him lose his mind. Not even Izaya had ever succeeded in ever making him so angry. He could still hear her voice, and he hated himself for making her so weak that she'd cry out for help. He knew too well how strong Izaya was. Those five men would've been nothing to the old Izaya, but she wasn't the old Izaya anymore, she was just a woman that got hurt in the worst possible way, and he had been the one to damage her. _I really am an animal,_ he thought bitterly as he remembered the despair in Izaya's voice as she was begging him to stop. But he hadn't stopped, her pleas only making him want to hurt her more. It was disturbing how with the passage of time he found it harder and harder to identify himself with the Shizuo from back then. The Shizuo who hurt Izaya was just a monster, and he hoped to never go back to being that person again. That Shizuo scared him. He knew that Izaya would never forgive him, but that didn't stop him from wishing that she would. He would spend the rest of his life making up to her if that was what she wanted. Shizuo wasn't exactly religious, but after what happened to him he couldn't help but wonder if it was divine retribution for his sin.

"God..." said Shizuo through gritted teeth, a feeling of claustrophobia taking over him.

"There's no god around here, just me," said Okuro who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

"You! You bastard! What is this?" Shizuo growled.

Okuro crouched in front of the cage and smirked. "Well, you were acting like a wild dog, so we've decided to treat you like one."

Shizuo felt his blood boil, his rage reaching monumental heights. He couldn't stop himself from spitting the guard right in the face.

Okuro's smirk disappeared. "You will regret this you worm!"

"I thought I was a dog," said Shizuo laughing. "Make up your damn mind."

Okuro wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp, but it would've been too much trouble to get him out, so instead he turned around and started walking away. He couldn't suppress his smirk as he said the his next words, "Don't expect any food today either."

"Fuck off already!" growled Shizuo as Okuro was leaving, even though in reality he was so hungry that he would've eaten anything. He was so pissed off that he could barely keep himself from screaming. He bit his lip in frustration and tightly shut his eyes as he struggled to control his breathing. What went so wrong in his life that he ended up inside a cage, like an animal? Oh, but he knew exactly what, because he could still vividly remember that day.

It was a hot summer day, and he couldn't wait to get home and dig into the pudding he left in the fridge. He was practically drooling as he entered the kitchen, only to find out that the pudding, HIS pudding, had fallen victim to Kasuka. He lost it, and without even realizing what he was doing, he picked up the fridge intending to crush Kasuka with it, only to fail miserably as his bones cracked and broke under the strain. It had been painful, and the recovery had been slow, but after that Shizuo could no longer control himself when his rage took over. Something else besides his bones broke that day. Strangely enough, Kasuka was also the only person Shizuo couldn't hurt anymore after that; sadly, Kasuka didn't go unscathed either. Shizuo blamed himself for the way in which Kasuka grew up. Shizuo always let his emotions rule his actions whilst Kasuka suppressed his to the point where he couldn't even feel anymore. Shizuo knew well that Kasuka was extremely good at acting out the emotions, so he hated himself even more for damaging his brother in such a cruel way.

He sighed and slowly banged his head against the bars of the cage. He felt so tired and hungry that he would go as far as to beg if need be if he knew that it would get him out of the cage and perhaps get him some food too. Hell, even a riceball with nothing in it would probably taste delicious. He licked his dry, cracked lips and moaned in pain as his tongue tasted the blood he spilled when he bit his lip. _Screw the riceball,_ he thought, he'd be happy if he got a meager glass of water. He wasn't at all surprised that his head hurt, like someone had just bashed his skull in with a baseball bat. It was the obvious result of being dehydrated. When he opened his eyes again he saw the room spinning out of control and then everything went dark.

He had no idea for how long he'd been out, but when he woke up again it was to the annoying voice of Okuro who loomed in front of the cage. He knew that the man was talking, but it took Shizuo a while to recover enough to be able to hear what the other was saying. "I can't hear you, wait," said Shizuo and tried to pull himself together.

"I told you not try anything funny," yelled Okuro.

Shizuo winced at the noise, finally able to hear again. "What are you talking about? I can't even move, let alone 'try anything funny'," he said through gritted teeth.

"I said that you have a visitor, so I'm going to let you out now," said Okuto in a bitter tone.

Shizuo's eyes widened and he could almost cry from sheer joy at being permitted to get out of the cage. "Who's visiting me?"

"Your brother," said Okuro who opened the door to the cage and dragged Shizuo out. He waited for a moment to see if the prisoner would attack but when he figured that the man couldn't even move, let alone fight, he simply proceeded to unlock the chains.

Shizuo just stayed on the floor, unable to move his numb body. There was a part of him that wanted to brutally murder the guard, but he simply lacked the energy to even insult him. When his arms were released he almost cried in pain, and when Okuro dragged him to his feet and out the door he didn't even protest.

Before they reached the meeting area Okuro stopped and turned towards Shizuo. "If you so much dare to complain about the way you are being treated in this prison, I will personally make sure to make the rest of your life here a living hell. I WILL break you until there will be nothing left. Understood?"

Shizuo muttered a "fuck you," then stilled in shock as Okuro grabbed his throat painfully. The man leaned closer until his lips were almost touching Shizuo's ear and Shizuo shuddered when he heard the words being whispered to him. He looked at Okuro in shock, and when the guard smirked he had a sudden impulse to get as far away as possible from the man. He swallowed the lump in his throat and allowed himself to be dragged into the visiting area without protesting. Surely he hadn't heard Okuro right, because there was no way the man would say such a thing to him.

Before he could further dwell on the subject his eyes caught sight of Kasuka sitting at one of the tables in the visiting area. He could feel the beginning of tears starting to form in his eyes at having to face his brother after doing something so shameful and he almost wished that Kasuka hadn't come to visit him. His brother didn't know what Shizuo had done to Izaya, but that didn't make it any easier to face him. He cringed when Kasuka turned towards him and he stopped in his tracks, only to get pushed forward by Okuro who led him to the table and made him sit down on the chair. Shizuo's head hung low, unable to look Kasuka in the eyes, and he almost jumped in surprise when he heard Okuro's voice.

"Prisoner 318668 is violent so I will stay here to make sure that he doesn't try anything."

Kasuka raised his head and looked at the man as though he was nothing more than an insect that he could easily squash. "I do not need anyone to keep me safe from my own brother. Thank you for your concern, but you may leave," he said, his voice cold. The guard looked like he wanted to say something but Kasuka kept staring at him.

Okuro cursed under his breathe and walked away, vowing to take revenge on Shizuo for the way the younger brother had treated him.

Once the guard went away Kasuka turned towards Shizuo, worry etched into his features. Shizuo looked horrible, like it took all the effort he had just to sit down on that chair. It was disturbing how Shizuo couldn't even look at him. "Nii-san, are you perhaps feeling sick?"

Shizuo wanted to answer but his throat was so dry that it hurt to even breathe. "I'm f-fine," he finally said with some effort.

Kasuka put his elbows on the table and leaned forward to get a closer look at him. "You don't look that fine to me. Is there anything I can do for you besides busting you out of here?"

Shizuo chuckled at that and then coughed, pain flaring in his throat. "Wa-water please."

Kasuka jumped to his feet and went to talk to one of the guards to bring a glass of water. He waited until the man got back and almost ran back to Shizuo to hand him the much needed liquid. "Here you go."

Shizuo grabbed the plastic cup and gulped the water like his life depended on it. He choked on the third gulp and started coughing again, but he quickly recovered and proceeded to drink the remaining water.

Kasuka looked at him with wide eyes, unable to comprehend how his brother could be reduced to such a pitiful creature.

"Thank you," Shizuo finally said. "You can't imagine how badly I needed that."

Kasuka narrowed his eyes, that feeling of rage he didn't quite like quickly taking over. "They don't even give you water?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Shizuo flinched at the question but gave his brother a fake smile, then lied instead of telling him the cruel truth. "I didn't say that, calm down. I was just thirsty, that's all. You shouldn't have come here. What if the media finds out that your brother is in jail? It could ruin your image."

Kasuka's fists tightened so hard that his nails were digging painfully into his skin. "I don't care about that! You're my brother, I'm more worried about what happens to you than what the media says about me!" He saw Shizuo stiffen at his words and he couldn't help but get even more furious that his brother thought so little of him. "The whole world can go to hell! What is wrong with you? Why aren't you saying anything?!"

Shizuo winced at the tone and uncomfortably shifted around. "Something is obviously wrong with me since I ended up in jail."

"You only beat up some guys, that's nothing. You don't deserve to be lumped together with rapists and murderers!"

Shizuo raised a shaky hand to run through his locks, only to remember that his hair got cut. He stopped midway, then lowered his arm onto the table. He sighed, and for the first time since meeting Kasuka he raised his head and looked at him. "You're wrong. I do deserve to be here."

"I know you blame yourself each time you lose control but you shouldn't think you belong in prison just because of that."

Shizuo sighed again. He couldn't tell his brother what he had done, but it was frustrating that Kasuka didn't believe him when he told him that he belonged there.

"You certainly do not deserve to be treated in such a horrible way. Just because you deny it you think I can't see that you're not feeling well?"

Shizuo grunted and lowered his head again, suddenly finding the table to be an extremely interesting object.

Kasuka wasn't done though. He was so furious that he nearly yelled the next words that came out of his mouth. "And you certainly did not deserve to get your hair cut!"

"It's fine, it'll grow back, don't worry about it," said Shizuo.

"If you say 'don't worry about it' one more time, I swear I will get up from this chair and break your nose," said Kasuka in a dangerous tone.

Shizuo actually laughed at that. "I'm supposed to be rage monster here, not you."

"How can I not be mad when you look so defeated?" said Kasuka, his tone filled with sadness.

"I'll be fine once I learn the rules of this place," said Shizuo and smiled, trying to reassure his brother.

"I will do everything in my power to get you out," said Kasuka with a determined look on his face. "Please believe in me."

"Tch! You'll just get yourself in trouble if you don't give up on this stupid idea!"

Kasuka got up, startling Shizuo. "Try to stay out of trouble until I get you out."

Shizuo wanted to get up as well and smack his brother on the head in order to teach him a lesson but frankly he was too exhausted to even move. "Don't you dare involve yourself in this!" he growled.

"I promise I'll get you out. See you soon!" Kasuka said as he turned around and left, completely ignoring Shizuo's protests. He couldn't remember ever seeing Shizuo in such a bad shape, and he'd be damned if he was going to let his brother rot in prison. He made up his mind to do everything in his power to get him out. He knew well that he had messed up that time at Shinra's apartment when he had grabbed Izaya, but he needed her and he was determined to do anything to get her to help him.

Shizuo was still sitting on the chair, looking at Kasuka's retreating form until he was startled by Okura who grabbed his arm and hauled him up. "Time to go back."

Shizuo was quickly starting to panic, the knowledge that he would be once again forced inside that tiny cage making him want to try and escape even though the odds of him succeeding were close to none.

Okura felt him stiffen in his grasp and laughed maliciously. "You don't seem to appreciate the wonders that cage does to unruly prisoners such as yourself. See? You're so weakened that you can't even defend yourself anymore." He leaned closer to Shizuo's face and whispered into his ear once again. "Right now I could do anything to you and you wouldn't be able to stop me."

Shizuo snarled and tried to free his arm from Okuro's hold. "You're sick, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Okuro chuckled. "Oh please, like you don't know," he said in a sickly sweet voice. "I thought you understood the meaning of my words from earlier. They were quite obvious, you know?"

Shizuo paled, his eyes wide in horror. "You couldn't possibly mean _―_ "

"That's exactly what I mean," he said as he pushed Shizuo out of the visiting area.

"No! You can't do that!" he yelled and renewed his struggled.

Okuro slammed him hard into the wall, successfully knocking the air out of his prisoner. "You wouldn't be able to stop me. You think you're exhausted from just the lack of food and water combined with being tased repeatedly?"

"W-what do you mean?" asked Shizuo in a shaky voice.

"You see, after that little show of strength you so kindly shared with us, the warden concluded that you are very dangerous and as such you were administered a shot while you were unconscious."

"A shot of what?!"

"I'm not sure myself, but apparently it's something that weakens you considerably. How else would I be able to manhandle a monster such as yourself?" said Okuro and grinned at Shizuo.


	8. Change

Okuro peeled Shizuo off the wall and guided him to his previous cell. Shizuo would have been delighted at being put back into his old cell instead of the cage if Okuro wasn't leering at him in such a way that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Okuro was sick and dangerous, and Shizuo knew that he couldn't let down his guard when it came to the man.

The bars closed behind Shizuo and Okuro leaned casually against the bars. "All you have to do is to be a good little dog and nothing will happen to you. I'm on the side of the law after all, so I only like to punish bad dogs who don't know their place."

Shizuo snarled at being called a dog and crossed his arms, his chin going up in a show of defiance.

Okuro simply laughed. "Ok, I understand, you're new here and all that, but I guarantee you that soon enough you will follow the rules of this prison to the letter. As you can see, the booklet with the rules is still inside your cell. I'll give you two days to familiarize yourself with it. If at that time you will fail to follow even one of them, I will make you regret ever having been born."

Shizuo didn't say anything, but the way Okuro was looking at him made him feel uncomfortable.

"Pick it up dog."

Shizuo cringed at the nickname but didn't move.

"Now..." Okura added, but this time his voice sounded dangerous.

Shizuo grit his teeth but sat down and picked up the booklet.

"Good boy," said Okuro and smirked at seeing how easily he had won the battle of wills.

Shizuo was starting to feel rage quickly blooming inside of him, but for the first time in his life he didn't have the energy to act upon it. It was like even getting angry took too much effort. God, he needed food so badly. He gazed at the bars and realized that Okuro had finally left. _Good,_ because Shizuo couldn't stand him at all, and frankly, he kind of scared him a bit. He suddenly froze, his eyes going wide, the mere thought that he was scared startling him. He was never scared... in fact, he couldn’t remember ever being scared. Even when Izaya had pinned that crime on him he was angry, not frightened. He shook his head and tried not to think about his emotions anymore. He opened the booklet and started reading, knowing that he had no choice but to learn the rules if he didn't want that sick fuck Okuro to keep giving him a hard time. The rules were ridiculous at best, and more than once Shizuo found himself wanting to rip the booklet into a million tiny pieces, however, the memory of Okuro's sick leer stopped him from acting on his impulse. He managed to read and somewhat learn one quarter of it when he saw Okuro approach his cell. The first thing he noticed as he raised his head to look at him was the syringe the guard was holding in his right hand. He looked at it incredulously. There was no way they would keep injecting that stuff into him, was there?

"Have you been a good dog while I was gone? Okuro asked and laughed when he saw Shizuo's hateful glare directed at him.

"I'm not a dog!" Shizuo protested.

"Oh my, I was under the impression that we were beginning to get along. Do you really want to ruin this thing we have? Who knows, it could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship," said Okuro and waved the syringe around, grinning like mad when he saw the way Shizuo stiffened and followed its trajectory with eyes that appeared to hold some fear behind them.

Shizuo closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and when he opened them he was determined to talk his way out of being drugged once again. "Okuro-san," he said while forcing a smile on his face, "I will follow the rules, I promise, so you don't have to inject me with that stuff anymore."

"You'll have to excuse me for not being able to trust your words so easily. Now get into the seiza position and sit there quietly while I give you the shot."

"Wait, please," said Shizuo in a desperate tone as the bars slowly retracted and Okuro stepped inside. "I'll be good!" he added, and he was unable to suppress a shudder when Okuro grabbed his arm. He tried to pull away, but Okuro kept a firm hold on him, and even when Shizuo used his other arm to push him away he wasn't able to stop the guard from administering the shot. He was so goddam screwed. The second the needle was pulled out of his arm Shizuo could feel the room starting to spin around him and he had to force himself to not throw up all over Okuro's shoes knowing that the man would most likely not appreciate it.

"You'll be fine in a few minutes." Okuro said, grabbed Shizuo by the chin and looked into the unfocused golden eyes. He pat him on the shaved head with the other hand and a grin almost split his face in two when Shizuo growled in protest at the degrading action. "Wild animals are really fun to tame," he said and finally let go of him, Shizuo immediately collapsing as soon as he was released.

He lay there on the floor waiting for the world around him to stop spinning and he breathed in relief when he heard the bars to his cell closing and Okuro's footsteps moving further and further away. He had no choice but to wait it out, and when the sickness finally started to fade away he knew that Okuro hadn't lied when he said that he'd feel better in a few minutes. He pushed the upper part of his body off the floor, leaned against the wall and attempted to calm down his racing heart. Whatever was inside that syringe was strong, and as long as he was under its influence Shizuo knew that he stood no chance in defending himself against anyone because the drug practically turned him into an uncoordinated, clumsy and weak mass of bones and flesh. He would have rather gotten tased again instead of being injected with such poison. He hated to admit, but he truly was at Okuro's mercy. This feeling of utter helplessness was so foreign to him that it terrified him. It felt suffocating to not be able to do as you please, something as simple as just sitting in the wrong position being enough to incur the guards' wrath. He grabbed the booklet with shaky hands and tried to focus on reading and actually learning the damn rules because respecting them seemed like the only way to survive in there.

At least Okuro had given him a choice, something that Shizuo himself had never given Izaya. He could almost understand a bit what Izaya must've felt like back then and his heart ached knowing that he had been the one to hurt her in such a vile manner. Izaya had been strong too in the beginning, just like he was when he first arrived in prison, but the more he got beaten down the more desperate he felt and the more he wanted to just do anything to stop hurting and to be left alone. Izaya had begged him, and Shizuo wondered how much longer he'd last before he'd beg Okuro. In his case, it would be for food, but still, for someone as proud as he was it hurt just to think about it.

Yes, Okuro was a dick, and yes he had threatened him with the prospect of doing horrible things if he didn't behave, but the man was in fact far more merciful than Shizuo had ever been with Izaya that day. When she fought back he hit her harder, and when she begged he only drove into her deeper, enjoying her cries as though they were music to his ears. He had been an animal. He raised his head and looked at the bars. "A trapped animal," he said bitterly.

Even his friends had abandoned him, and he honestly couldn't really blame them. Shinra cared about Izaya, and even though Celty didn't exactly like the Informant, he guessed that she had felt betrayed by his actions. She trusted him and she thought he was a good man, only to get her trust trampled on in the worst possible way.

The only one who still seemed to think he was a good person was Kasuka, but Shizuo was sure that his little brother would also give up on him if he knew what he had done. The fool was under the impression that Shizuo was innocent and that it was his duty to get him out. The best thing Shizuo could do to keep his brother safe was to ignore him, because the more Kasuka saw him, the more he'd want to save him and because of that he was decided to not see his brother anymore if he came visiting. Maybe Kasuka would get the message that he didn't need anything from him.

It was all about surviving prison, and the only way to do so was to learn the rules. He had been a fool thinking that he could treat others here the same way he had treated people when he was still outside. The prison was not his Ikebukuro; here he was in enemy territory, and the only way for him to survive was to play by their rules.

 

* * *

 

Izaya was sitting in front of her laptop, tapping a finger on the desk out of sheer frustration. Her source inside the Police Department was having troubles finding out who was behind Shizuo's quick imprisonment, and Izaya was running out of patience. It wasn't because she was in a hurry to help Kasuka or anything like that, no, it was simply because she was curious herself. The thought that it might be someone related to Shizuo's job crossed her mind, but she quickly dismissed the idea because the lowlifes who couldn't even afford to pay their debts certainly wouldn't have enough money and influence to do such a thing.

That wasn't Izaya's case though. A lot influential people were holding a grudge against her, but that wasn't a surprise considering how good she was at her job. She certainly did step on a few filthy rich toes over the years. Funny enough, the only person with some real power that Shizuo had pissed off was none other than Izaya herself, and she was obviously not responsible for the bastard's predicament. The timing of the arrest was strange though, because it happened right after their altercation, so unless Izaya had a guardian angel somewhere out there, then it really had nothing to do with her. There were also those five scumbags that had attacked her, but they were just garbage not even worth thinking about.

Her tapping slowed down until it came to a complete stop and it was then when Izaya thought of something she didn't consider before. Her hands hovered over the keyboard for a second and then she started typing with something akin to the speed a light in a desire to know if her theory had been right, but she didn't succeed in getting too far into her research because someone knocked on her door. Izaya glared at it and considered ignoring whoever the hell was behind it but she sighed and got up, knowing that most people who came looking for her didn't just leave like that. It was never that easy. She checked to see who it was and she almost growled in annoyance when she was met with the sight of a very impatient Kasuka. "What do you want now?" she said with a hint of disgust in her voice after she opened the door.

"You know very well what I need."

Izaya just snorted and pushed the door, but Kasuka prevented her from closing it.

"Please, I just need you to listen to me, and if you decide that you still don't want to help me then I will leave and never bother you again."

"No! Now move!" said Izaya and pushed the door harder.

"Please Orihara-san, I'll do anything," begged Kasuka and almost fell on his nose when Izaya suddenly let go of the door.

Izaya crossed her arms as she glared daggers at the stunned man. "Ok, I'll listen, but I make no promises." She turned her back on Kasuka and went to her desk, motioning for him to sit down on the chair she dragged from Namie's desk. She didn't want to help Shizuo, nor his brother, but since Kasuka said that he'd do anything... well, that was interesting enough to get her attention. "I still have no information on your brother, so you've wasted your time coming here."

"I thought as much, but what I want is for you to not give up. Please, Orihara-san, Shizuo needs your help."

Izaya narrowed her eyes at Kasuka. "What makes you think that I want to help him? Because in case you didn't know, I despise your brother. Seeing him dead would make me very happy."

Kasuka's eyes widened a bit at her words. "You can't really mean that."

"Oh, but I do."

"You can't possibly hate him so much for absolutely no reason!"

Izaya blankly stared at him. "Who said I don't have a good reason?"

"What..." said Kasuka weakly, "what did he do that was so bad to make you want to see him dead?"

"Oh, you poor innocent thing," said Izaya mockingly. "How about this, if you can get Shizuo to tell you why I hate his guts, then I'll help you out." Izaya grinned, absolutely certain that Shizuo would never admit such a shameful thing to his beloved innocent brother, and since that would never happen, she would finally be left alone by the Heiwajima family.

Kasuka nodded. "I understand," he said and got up. "I will be back in a couple of days."

"Wait," said Izaya as Kasuka was walking away, "I'm not done."

Kasuka turned his head and looked at Izaya.

"You can't tell him about our deal, and you still owe me a favor whether he tells you or not."

"Deal." Kasuka wanted nothing more than to talk to Shizuo right then, but he knew that visiting hours were over, so he had no choice but to wait until the next day to see him. Once outside Izaya's apartment he got into the car that was waiting for him and he went home. The whole Shizuo thing was interfering with the quality of his work. It wasn't as easy to perform dangerous stunts when he was tired, and of course he was tired when he couldn't stop worrying about his brother. That time when he saw Shizuo half-dead scared the hell out of him, and he wasn't one to easily get scared, which meant that he truly felt that Shizuo would be in real danger for as long as he was stuck inside that prison.

He also thought that it was really suspicious how all the lawyers he had hired gave up on the case a couple of hours after agreeing to defend his brother. It was obvious to Kasuka that someone with a lot of power was behind his Shizuo's imprisonment, someone that even lawyers didn't dare cross, which meant that the only way to fight such a powerful person would be to find some dirt in said person's past, and who was best at finding dirt if not Orihara Izaya? He definitely needed Izaya's help to save Shizuo. There was of course the little problem of having to convince Shizuo to reveal whatever reason Izaya had to hate his guts, which would obviously not be an easy task. Shizuo was one hell of a stubborn man and he wasn't known to often change his mind but Kasuka knew him better than anyone so he was confident that he would eventually get him to reveal the truth.

He didn't get much sleep that night but it was not a problem because he had the next day off anyway. Spending the night trying to find a way to convince his brother to tell him why Izaya hated him so much was far more productive than sleeping. There were still a couple more hours before he left, so he made a cup of coffee and turned on the TV to see what was new, only to sigh in annoyance when he saw how on all channels there were only talks about politics as election time was not too far away. Kasuka didn't really care about politics, so he turned off the TV and quietly drank the coffee. He was feeling kind of tired, so he closed his eyes and tried to empty his mind even if it was only for a few minutes, never guessing that he'd fall asleep. When he woke up again four hours later he jumped to his feet and rushed to get changed. He wanted to be there early so he'd have more time to talk to Shizuo, but the visiting hours were far from being over, so he would still have enough time to at least see his brother. He wasn't happy about falling asleep, but there was no point in dwelling over it.

He was out the door as soon as had finished dressing, a car already waiting for him outside. He rubbed his red eyes in an attempt to chase away the sleepiness but he gave up and closed them instead until he arrived at Pushu and he got off. He took a deep breath and proceeded forward, his mind set on doing anything to save his brother, even if that meant Shizuo would end up hating him in the process. "Good afternoon, I am here to see Heiwajima Shizuo," he told the guard.

"And you are...?”

"His brother, Heiwajima Kasuka."

"In that case, follow me," the guard said and took him to the visiting area. "Wait here."

Kasuka nodded and sat down, feeling a bit nervous because of the whole thing. He stayed there alone with only his thoughts as company until the guard came back a few minutes later.

"I told Okuro-san to bring him here."

"I understand, thank you."

"Before I go..."

"Yes, what is it?" asked Kasuka when he noticed how the man was fidgeting.

"Uhmm, Hanejima-san, can I please get an autograph?"

Kasuka stiffened a bit at the request. "Ah, so you do know who I am."

The man smiled. "Yes, but don't worry Hanejima-san, I won't tell anyone about this. My daughter and wife are huge fans of yours, and I would hate to upset them in any way. We can't choose our family, so one should not be judged for what a sibling has done."

"Thank you," he told him sincerely before he signed an autograph for the man's family. It seemed like there were still some good people in the world and not just scumbags who'd do anything for personal gain.

The man left and Okuro showed up to tell him that Shizuo refused to see him.

Things were never easy.

 

* * *

 

It was surprising how following the rules would make his life that much easier while he was in prison, thought Shizuo as he munched on a rice ball. He knew the damn thing was nothing special, but after starving for so long it felt like it was the tastiest thing in the world. A few days had passed since Kasuka had visited and since Shizuo realized that if he didn't do as Okuro said then he'd be dead meat. He learned the rules, which hadn't been easy at all, and as soon as he started behaving like a good prisoner Okuro brought him food, which was nothing special, but a starving man such as himself couldn't have been more grateful. He was still given the shots every day, and even though Shizuo hated how weak they made him, it was still better than to end up dead or as Okuro's bitch. As much as he despised to admit, he was far too weak to defend himself if Okuro came after him. It was still a very real possibility, and Shizuo most definitely did not want to push the man's buttons any more than he had already done. It made him sick just to think about it, and he thought bitterly that Izaya had probably felt the same way about him.

He finished the last bite of rice and licked his fingers, a content sigh slipping past his lips. He knew that the other prisoners got much better food than he did and that they were also allowed to eat together and even exercise, something that Shizuo sorely needed, but he also knew that Okuro and the other guards didn't trust him enough to put him with the general population, not yet anyway. Shizuo was sure that they were waiting for him to learn how to behave even when he wasn't drugged out of his mind. Okuro had even told him that the better he behaved, the less of that substance that weakened him would be injected. Basically, all he had to do was to play the obedient dog and wait until the day when they trusted him enough to stop pumping his body full of whatever the hell it was they were using. Only then would he finally be free of the annoying weakness that plagued his body and which he truly despised. It was one thing to cut his hair, but it was another thing entirely for them to try to take away his strength too. Sure, he spent years despising it, and he had always hated himself for being different, but in this accursed place his strength was the only thing that he had left after everything else had been stripped away from him.

Out of nowhere he heard footsteps approaching and he stiffened, wondering if Okuro was there to give him the injection. It was Okuro indeed, and when he stopped in front of the cell Shizuo almost wished he had some place to hide. _I'm turning into such a coward,_ he thought bitterly. He couldn't help but wince when Okuro grinned, and he wondered what the hell was the man up to.

"Your brother is here to see you, so be nice and follow me to the visiting area without any incident."

"Tch, I told him not to come back."

"I see, then I'll tell him you don't want to see him."

Shizuo nodded. "Thank you."

Okuro went back to the visiting area. He could've punished Shizuo for speaking without permission, but he decided to let it pass, his prisoner succeeding in doing a lot of progress over the course of a few days. He didn't like the younger brother, because of the way he looked at him the previous time he was visiting, so he was more than happy to give him the news. "Prisoner 318668 doesn't want to see you."

Kasuka sighed but didn't get up. "Can you please tell him that if he doesn't come to see me now I will come back every day until he accepts to meet up with me."

Okuro's eye twitched in annoyance. "I'm not your messenger."

Kasuka looked at him indifferently. "I'll be here."

Okuro turned around and left before he'd end up punching the kid in the face. He really couldn't stand his attitude. The kid was somewhat different than his brother, but they were both asses who didn't know how to respect authority. "Your brother said he'll keep coming back every day until you talk to him," he told Shizuo once he arrived in front of his cell.

Shizuo actually growled in annoyance but he got up anyway, knowing that his brother was crazy enough to skip filming in order to come and try to see him. He followed Okuro to the visiting area and he was surprised to see how relieved Kasuka seemed to be when he saw him come in.


	9. Disturbed

"Why are you still here?" Shizuo asked, cutting right to the subject as soon as he sat down. "I told you I don't want to see you anymore."  
  
"I'm glad to see you looking better," said Kasuka with a small smile on his face. "I was really worried about you."  
  
Shizuo folded his arms in front of his chest. "You're avoiding my question."  
  
Kasuka looked at him like he had grown a second head. "Because it's a stupid question."  
  
"That's no way to talk to your older brother."  
  
"It is if said brother is a stubborn fool," said Kasuka and looked at him with a blank expression on his face.  
  
Shizuo lowered his head. "I... I just don't want you to see me like this anymore."  
  
"And I hate to know that you're in here," said Kasuka, "but I'll get you out."  
  
Shizuo sighed in exasperation. "You can't get me out of here," he said, his expression turning grim. "I deserve to be here anyway."  
  
"That's the second time you tell me this. What exactly did you do to make you think that you deserve to be here?"  
  
Shizuo shifted nervously on the chair, trying to think of anything else to say that would change the subject but coming up short.  
  
"For how much longer are you going to ignore my question?" asked Kasuka when he saw that Shizuo had stopped talking.  
  
No answer.  
  
"Does it have anything to do with Orihara Izaya?" asked Kasuka, and as Shizuo's head snapped up he was struck by the sight of those golden eyes filled with regret and an expression that screamed 'shame'. "W-what did you do?" continued Kasuka, almost too afraid to hear the answer.  
  
"How... what makes you think it has anything to do with Izaya?" asked Shizuo, his voice trembling a bit.  
  
"I asked her for help but she refused. She said that she hates you and that she wants to see you dead."  
  
Shizuo laughed bitterly. "I don't blame her."  
  
"Did you perhaps lose yourself during one of your rage episodes and beat her up?"  
  
"It has nothing to do with you, so drop it."  
  
Kasuka frowned. "No, I need to know."  
  
Shizuo snorted. "No, you really don't."  
  
"Please tell me," insisted Kasuka.  
  
Shizuo's eye twitched in annoyance. "Drop it."  
  
"But I _―_ "  
  
"NOW, Kasuka! Just drop it! You really should learn some boundaries. Back then it was MY pudding, and now it's MY problem, so stay out of it," said Shizuo in a low, dangerous tone.  
  
Kasuka stayed quiet for a while, waiting for Shizuo to calm down. He knew better than anyone just how dangerous his brother was when he allowed rage free reign over his actions, and the last thing he needed was for Shizuo to lose it and to injure more people. Only when Shizuo seemed to relax a bit he dared to speak again. "I deserve to know why my brother is so hell-bent on self-destruction. What can be so bad to make you think that you deserve to be lumped together with rapists and murderers? It's not like those guys died, and Orihara Izaya is very much alive so―" Kasuka suddenly stopped talking, his eyes going wide. "You didn't..." he said meekly and saw Shizuo wince. "Oh god." His older brother looked at him, eyes filled with guilt and a pained expression on his face, and Kasuka knew that he had been right in his assumption.  
  
Both brothers looked away from each other, an awkward, long silence floating between them until Shizuo got up and left without saying a word.  
  
Kasuka made no attempts to stop him. He merely stood there, staring blankly at the wall, his mind processing this new information while trying to ignore the pain in his heart. He always thought his brother was capable of many things, but taking a woman against her will was not one of them. It finally made sense why she reacted so violently when he had touched her back at Shinra's apartment, and he couldn't believe she even agreed to even talk to him after Shizuo had done such a terrible thing to her.  
  
He sat up and walked straight to the exit, the need to breathe in some fresh air overriding everything else. That day he walked the outskirts of the city aimlessly until it got really late and he had no choice but to return home. He had gotten what he wanted, and now there was only one thing missing, and that was Izaya. He knew that it wasn't fair to ask it of her, but Kasuka really needed Izaya's talent in information gathering.  
  
He was planning to talk to Izaya the day after his talk with Shizuo, but when morning came he simply lost his courage. He went to work but didn't visit Izaya that day, nor the next five days. It was on the seventh day that he succeeded in gathering enough courage to go and see her. He felt horribly guilty for wasting time while Shizuo was rotting in prison, but a tiny part of him now believed that he deserved to be there. That was the second reason it took him so long to go see her. He truly wished that nothing had happened between Shizuo and Izaya, but that was not the case. He also didn't think that he could ever look at his brother the same way again. No, he obviously did not hate him, but he was disappointed in him. He could still remember that day when Shizuo first lost his temper, and for a second he wondered if it hadn't been his fault that his brother had ended up the way he did. It wasn't possible though, so he dismissed it. It was in Shizuo's nature to lose his temper, and the catalyst could've been anything. It just so happened that his uncontrollable rage first burst forward when Kasuka happened to eat his pudding. It had been one hell of a good pudding, now that he thought about it.  
  
He found himself in front of Izaya's door, only to hesitate as he raised his hand to knock on it. He almost laughed bitterly at how easily his courage faltered and he quickly knocked on the door before he ended up changing his mind completely. He heard footsteps from behind the door and he was met with the sight of a very tired-looking Izaya as she opened it.  
  
"You're back," said Izaya, then smirked. "I bet you're here to tell me how you couldn't get anything out of your brother, and afterwards you're going to beg me to help you anyway."  
  
"Not exactly."  
  
"Please, do come in. I hope you don't mind the mess too much since I was in the middle of cleaning up a bit."  
  
"No problem," said Kasuka and his eyes wandered around the room, his eyes falling on the dozen of phones scattered across her couch.  
  
She picked them up quickly and set them on her desk before she motioned for Kasuka to sit down.  
  
"I'd rather stand if you don't mind."  
  
Izaya shrugged. "Suit yourself," she said and sat on the chair behind the desk where she began to arrange the phones. She looked up at him. "Well? Go ahead, speak your mind."  
  
Kasuka didn't hear her question though, his eyes glued to her desk. What caught his attention was a phone inside a plastic bag on the right side of her desk that had some obvious traces of blood on it. He was woken up from his musing when Izaya snapped at him.  
  
She grabbed the phone, threw it inside the drawer and slammed it shut. "Either you tell me what you want, now, or you leave."  
  
Kasuka looked her in the eyes. "I'm sorry."  
  
Izaya sighed. "It's fine, you don't have to apologize."  
  
"No, that's not what I meant," he said softly.  
  
Izaya quirked an eyebrow and looked at him, curiosity sparking in her eyes at seeing someone like Kasuka being so nervous. It was slightly unnerving. "Then what did you mean?"  
  
He bowed his head and Izaya gasped at his gesture. "I'm sorry for what my brother did to you."  
  
Izaya dropped the phone she was holding. "W-what," she said in a shaky voice, "what do you mean?"  
  
Kasuka still held his head down. "My brother has brought shame to the Heiwajima name, so I wish to apologize for his transgression. I know that you have no reason to forgive him, and that you most likely never will, but you made a promise and I hope that you will keep it."  
  
Izaya rose on shaky legs, pale as a sheet of paper and nearly hyperventilating. "H-he dared to tell you this?!"  
  
Kasuka finally raised his head and looked at her, fighting the impulse to go and hold her in his arms because it looked like she could collapse at any second. "No, he didn't. I swear. I simply guessed it, and when he didn't deny it I knew it to be true."  
  
Izaya grabbed the edge of the desk tighter, her knuckled turning white. "GET OUT!" she screamed at him and had to fight really hard not to let the tears gathering in her eyes fall down her cheeks. She was so ashamed that she wished for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. "Get out," she nearly pleaded in a defeated tone.  
  
Kasuka simply left.

 

* * *

  
  
As soon as Kasuka walked out of her apartment and closed the door behind him Izaya collapsed on the floor, her weak legs unable to support her weight any longer. She stared blankly at the door for a few seconds, then allowed the tears to pour down her cheeks. She leaned her head against the desk and stayed there for a long time, trying to push down the mortifying shame that was suffocating her. She never imagine that Shizuo would ever tell Kasuka, let alone that the younger Heiwajima would guess. The only reason she even made the deal to begin with was because she was sure that Kasuka would fail and then she could use him in the future if she ever needed to do so. But no, Kasuka had to go and find out anyway. He was too smart for his own good. How the hell he managed to guess was beyond Izaya's capacity of understand, and because of her mistake not only did she have to keep her deal and help Shizuo, but now the younger brother knew as well what she had been forced to go though.  
  
She didn't want to be alone.  
  
She gathered her strength and pushed herself off the floor, then went to her room to change. She still had to put make-up on to cover the bruises, but they were starting to fade away, which meant that soon enough she'd look just like before. She grabbed the first pair of pants in sight, changed, then left her apartment, going straight for the cab she had called only minutes before. As the cab drove through the city she looked out the window and realized how much she missed running around. She wasn't used to sitting around, let alone stay cooped up inside her apartment for more than a week. Then again, she wouldn't be able to move around too much even if she wanted because she wasn't fully healed.  
  
She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even realize she was already in front of Shinra's apartment building until the cab stopped. She paid the driver, then got out and entered the building. She took the elevator up since her back was still sore and once she was in front of the door she knocked softly.  
  
Shinra opened the door and she forced a smile on her face as he looked at her with a worried expression on his face.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
Izaya laughed bitterly. "Can't I even come visit you anymore without you immediately assuming that something is wrong?"  
  
"My bad," said Shinra and smiled awkwardly, then motioned for Izaya to come in. "What's up?"  
  
"I was tired of sitting around in my apartment, so I thought I'd go out and get some fresh air."  
  
Shinra rolled his eyes. "And it just so happens that you were walking by and decided to pay me a visit."  
  
"That's right," said Izaya and sat on the couch.  
  
Shinra gave her a look that said I-don't-believe-a-word-you're-saying but picked up the remote control, turned on the TV and sat down as well. They sat there in awkward silence for a long time, Shinra sighing every time he changed the channel and ran into something uninteresting. Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, he sighed louder than ever, turned off the TV and looked at Izaya who continued to ignore him. "What happened?"  
  
Izaya leaned backwards on the couch and closed her eyes. "Kasuka came to see me today."  
  
"I can see how that might bother you, considering he's Shizuo's brother."  
  
Izaya opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Shinra. "If only it was that simple..."  
  
Shinra kept quiet, waiting for Izaya to talk to him once she was ready.  
  
"He knows," said Izaya, her eyes full of pain.  
  
"How did he _―_ "  
  
Izaya's bitter laughter erupted past her lips. "He said he guessed! Can you believe that? Does it say on my forehead that I've been raped?" she asked, cringing at the last word. "Does it??" she asked again, by now bordering on hysterics.  
  
Shinra opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind and kept quiet because he knew that she wouldn't believe him even if he said no.  
  
"Tell me!!" she screamed, making Shinra wince at her loud tone.  
  
"No," he finally said, now knowing that she needed reassurances, "most certainly not. It must've been something that Shizuo said that led him to such a conclusion."  
  
"Maybe..." said Izaya and closed her eyes again.  
  
"I have some work to do in the lab, so stay here until Celty comes home. She's about to get here any minute now," said Shinra and got up. Izaya nodded and Shinra left her there knowing it would be best to let the two women talk in peace. _Izaya would certainly feel more comfortable talking to a woman instead of a man._ He heard the front door open just as he entered the lab, and as much as he wanted to run to Celty and welcome her home he knew that Izaya needed her a lot more than he did.  
  
Celty had just gotten back from making a delivery when she saw Izaya sitting on the couch in the living room. Izaya looked at her and smiled, but Celty could tell that something was wrong. She approached her and sat down next to her. [ What's wrong? ]  
  
"I'm angry."  
  
[ Why ? ]  
  
"I made a mistake. I made a deal that I was sure to win, only to end up losing miserably."  
  
[ It happens even to the best of us. We win some, we lose some. ]  
  
"I hate losing."  
  
[ Don't we all? Look at me, I must be the biggest loser in the whole wide world. ]  
  
"You're not a loser."  
  
Celty shrugged. [ I am, I lost my head after all. ]  
  
Izaya laughed. "Like you said, it happens even to the best of us."  
  
[ Do you want to talk about what's bothering you? ]  
  
"No, wait... yes," said Izaya with a pained expression on her face. "Kasuka wants me to help him get Shizuo out of jail."  
  
[ Oh? ]  
  
"Now here comes the problem. I told him that I'll help him if he can find out why I despise Shizuo. Never would I have imagined that Shizuo would tell him the truth."  
  
[ HE TOLD HIM? ]  
  
Izaya frowned. "No, that's the thing, Kasuka guessed it. Does that make any sense to you?"  
  
[ Hmm, I don't know him as well as I know Shizuo, but what I do know is that he's very smart and very good at reading people. ]  
  
"Just my luck," said Izaya and rolled her eyes. "I don't want him to get out."  
  
[ I understand. He hurt you deeply. ]  
  
"I want him to pay for what he did to me, but the more time passes, the more I want to forget about it. I was planning to make his life a living hell, but as far as I know jail is a special kind of hell. I don't even have to lift a finger and he'll still suffer. Can you imagine someone as wild as he is stuck inside a tiny cell? In fact, prison might be a worse kind of punishment than if I were to, let's say, gouge out his eyes."  
  
[ You can't be serious! ]  
  
Izaya looked dead serious. "It was one of the ideas I got. Another one was to chop off his arms so that he wouldn't be able to hold down anyone ever again." She shivered, images of her ordeal coming back to the forefront of her mind. "But you see, Shizuo is a wild animal, so he'd probably bounce right back."  
  
[ Still, that's horrible. ]  
  
"Now imagine this wild animal shoved inside a cage and left there for years on end. Imagine how it would be to see the light in his eyes slowly fade away little by little each day until there's nothing left but a husk of the man once known as Ikebukuro's strongest. And then, when his soul is finally dead, to put him out of his misery... beautiful."  
  
Celty tensed, Izaya's words making her uncomfortable. She was disappointed in Shizuo, but that didn't mean that she wanted him to go though any of the things that Izaya had in mind. Shizuo had indeed made a terrible mistake, but she couldn't turn her back on him. She was sure that Shizuo was already beating himself over it, probably hating himself more than ever and thinking that he deserved to die.  
  
"I don't want to help him," continued Izaya. "I don't want him out there where I could run into him."  
  
[ I don't think Shizuo would hurt you again. ]  
  
"You can't know that for sure!" snapped Izaya. "I didn't think he'd even do it the first time, which means that we never know how someone as unpredictable as him will react."  
  
[ Even so, he seemed to deeply regret it when he brought you here that night. ]  
  
"I'm sorry, but I can't trust him. A monster such as himself is unpredictable, this being the reason I despised him in the first place."  
  
Celty pressed the buttons on her PDA a bit too hard and too fast. [ You've always hated him because you couldn't control him! Did you ever stop to think that perhaps if you hadn't driven him crazy that none of this would've happened? ]  
  
"Every day," she said, then got up and left. She wasn't surprised to see Celty defend Shizuo, but she was still surprised at how much it hurt to see her doing it.  
  
Izaya was in an extremely bad mood as she left Shinra's apartment. She felt like she was suffocating, so instead of going home she decided that it was best to wander around Ikebukuro for a while. For once she could walk around freely without having to run into the brute, but the price she paid for it had been too high. And now, after everything that happened, Kasuka was expecting her to simply forget about her ordeal and to help in getting her aggressor out of jail. No, things were never that easy. Just because she had made a stupid deal it didn't mean that she was supposed to honor it. She was Orihara Izaya, and Orihara Izaya always did what she wanted. Rules had no meaning to her because she was above rules to begin with. Rules simply did not apply to her. At the very least, that was what she liked to believe. A shiver ran down her spine and she remembered the night in which Shizuo had saved her. That time had been cold too, and she could still remember that feeling of numbing coldness that had embedded itself into her spine as she was pressed against the bricked wall and molested by those animals. Shizuo had scared her, but she only felt disgust for those animals. She could feel her skin crawl just from remembering their touch and she shook her head in order to drive away the memory. She did feel some disgust for Shizuo too, but it had mostly been hate and fear that she felt that day. Shizuo was not human, and she knew very well that she was lucky to be alive. It was a miracle that she didn't get any of her bones broken considering how lost into the act Shizuo had appeared to be. What she couldn't stand however was that when Shizuo had saved her she remembered feeling completely safe. She had no idea to whom those gentle arms belonged to, but as her mind was fading away she knew for a fact that she was safe as she was pressed against that broad chest. _Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! I was such a goddam idiot!_ She sighed and rubbed at her temples with her knuckles as she kept walking.

 

* * *

 

Just because she had been inside her apartment the entire week it didn't mean that she spent the entire time doing nothing. It started the day when an idea took root inside her mind and refused to leave. She spent that entire day in front of her laptop looking up information on her five attackers. Her theory was that whoever was behind Shizuo's rushed trip to prison had to be related in some way or another with one of the five men. So Izaya did what Izaya does best, and by the end of the fifth day she knew every dirty little secret those pathetic excuses for human beings had been hiding. Four of them anyway, because there was one with a missing father that she couldn't find. The scumbag's name was Ogami Ichimaru, and Izaya remembered him clearly because he was the youngest and also the one who kept telling the others that he had a bad feeling about all of it. The irony was that he had been right all along. He ended up in hospital with an arm and both his legs broken in several places. A long period of lying in bed and reflecting on his sins awaited him.  
  
The others weren't doing any better, one of them, Rei Ichinose was actually in a coma, and the doctors couldn't say for sure if he would ever wake up again. His brother, Toushirou, had the least injuries from all of them. Apparently Shizuo had knocked him out in the beginning of his attack, and the man didn't wake up until he was in the hospital. Ito Hashima was the bastard she had ran into by accident, and Tetsuo Yamazaki the dick who wanted to screw her in the ass. Both of them were gravely injured. Ito had apparently lost an eye and Tetsuo had problems hearing because of the brain damage he had suffered. All in all, the assholes had gotten what they deserved without Izaya having to even lift a finger. It did bother her however that Shizuo had been the one to deliver the punishment. _Why would he go so far as to risk murdering people for the sake of his most hated enemy?_ Izaya thought about it but came up empty.  
  
The thing was that with the information she had on those scumbags she could easily coerce them into changing their statements, but she didn't exactly want to do that. Why would she want Shizuo out on the streets where he could find her... where he could hurt her?


	10. The Beginning

Never before had Izaya felt the need to smash a laptop to smithereens like she did once she got home. "Why now of all times?" she said out loud, exasperated at the horrible timing. Her source in the Police Department finally succeeded in finding the name of the one who was behind Shizuo's rushed trip to Pushu prison and Izaya could hardly believe her eyes when she saw the name. Even if she would, by some miracle, agree to help Kasuka get Shizuo out, it wouldn't be an easy task. She read the rest of the email and sighed in annoyance at how much the guy was bitching about almost losing his job in the process. She signed into her bank account and sent the guy some extra cash, knowing that it was best to keep the guy happy and ready too cooperate again. She had no proof that the guy she had been looking for was Ogami's father, but it was the only possible explanation. The seventeen years old had been raised by his mother alone, and he had no idea who his father was. The other four had no connection with any powerful person, hence Ogami was the most likely candidate. The teenager had no one registered on the birth certificate as a father, so either the man had abandoned the mother before she gave birth or the mother did not tell the man he had a child until recently. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought that she almost ended up being raped by someone so young and she hoped that she'd never again find herself in a situation where she couldn't defend herself. _Perhaps it's time to acquire a gun._

 

It took another week before Izaya finally decided to met up with Kasuka, and it was strange to see such a calm and previously thought to be emotionless person getting so worked up over something. Then again, he still appeared to be calm to most people, but Izaya knew that wasn't the case. She could tell the man was at his limit.

"What have you decided Orihara-san?" he cut straight to the subject.

Izaya turned around but didn't sit down. "I'm going to be honest here and tell you that I have the power and the means to get him out," there was a slight pause as Izaya took a deep breath before she continued, "but I don't want him out". She turned around and looked Kasuka in the eyes. "What if he comes after me again?"

"Oriha _―_ " Kasuka started but Izaya cut him off.

"Let me finish," she said. "Until recently I believed that my agility was enough to always keep me safe, but your brother proved me wrong. Let's say I need to go to Ikebukuro and I run into Shizuo... what then?"

"Orihara-san, my brother deeply regrets what he has done to you and I believe that he would never again hurt you no matter what."

"When he loses it he no longer is the Shizuo you know. He is a monster," she said and shivered as memories flooded her mind. "You only know what he did, but you don't know everything."

"What do you _―_ "

Izaya turned her head and looked away. "It was worse than you can imagine."

"Oriha _―_ "

"No, I don't need you to say apologize again, I merely want you to understand why I can't help you. As much as I hate to admit, I'm only human, and unless I shoot your brother if he attacks, I doubt that I could win. I have thought of many ways to pay him back for what he has done to me, but I think the fact that he is in prison brings me enough satisfaction to not want to kill him as badly as I did before. He might actually be safer in prison because I don't have the confidence to stop myself from killing or at least maiming him if he were to get out."

Kasuka slumped on the couch, a look of utter defeat etched into his featured. "He's going to die in there."

Izaya snorted. "I doubt it."

"The first time I saw him he couldn't even walk properly and it looked like they had been starving him for days. You should've seen how he drank that cup of water with trembling hands."

Izaya couldn't say he felt sorry for him, but she did find it interesting. So the guy who put him in jail was also going out of his way to make him suffer. If that was the case then perhaps Shizuo was really in danger of getting killed.

The moron just had to make the favorite candidate for governor of Tokyo his enemy. Izaya didn't know whether to be happy that the beast would get killed or angry because she wouldn't be the one to personally end his existence.

Kasuka couldn't remember ever feeling so helpless. It was obvious he couldn't convince the woman to change her mind so he had no choice but to leave.

 

* * *

 

He felt completely lost as he walked the streets, somehow ending up in front of Shinra's apartment building. He went up to his apartment and knocked on the door. Shinra opened it mere seconds later, a look of surprise on his face.

"May I come in?"

"Of course," said Shinra and moved to let him in. "What's the occasion?"

"I somehow ended up here," said Kasuka and sat on the couch before Shinra even invited him to do so. "I don't know what to do anymore and Shizuo is going to die because I'm useless as a brother."

Shinra sat down next to Kasuka. "Don't ever say such a thing again. You're the most important person in his life and he never thought of you as being useless."

Kasuka lowered his head and clenched his fingers into his hair. "He's going to die and I can't stop it."

"Whoa, calm down, why would Shizuo die? It's not like he's waiting for a death sentence."

"Someone wants him dead."

"Well, Shizuo does have a few enemies here and there, but that doesn't mean that someone is going to kill him."

"That's not it! They're starving him to death in there."

"What?" asked Shinra in concern.

"He was so weak that he couldn't even walk properly, and he was so thirsty that he almost choked on the water I gave him while desperately trying to drink it."

Shinra furrowed his brows. "That can't be right."

Kasuka raised his head and looked at Shinra. "Of course it's not right! I can't even get a lawyer to defend him because they all quit a few hours later."

Shinra was starting to get worried. Sure, he was pissed off at Shizuo, and he thought that the man deserved some kind of punishment for what he had done, but he certainly did not wish to see him dead. "I understand now. If what you say is true then Shizuo might really be in danger."

"Orihara-san said that she could easily get him out but she refuses to do so because she says she hates him," said Kasuka and paused, realizing that it wasn't a good idea to tell Shinra anything in case the man didn't know what had happened, "but she has her reasons and I can understand why she'd want to see him dead."

Shinra nodded. "I understand. I talked to her last week and she told me how you found out about what happened between her and Shizuo."

"You know too?"

"Yeah," said Shinra in a sad voice. "Shizuo himself brought her to me that day. She was hurt badly."

Kasuka lowered his head in shame. "I can't believe he did such a thing. He's a nice guy. He WAS a nice guy anyway, I'm not sure anymore. I haven't even went to see him once the past two weeks. I feel like a monster myself, to have just left him there."

Shinra sighed. "I know what you mean, I feel the same way sometimes. It's not because I can't see him even if I want to, but I honestly haven't been in the mood to see him even once ever since that night. He really made me angry. Anyway, I agree with you, we have to get him out. I'll personally talk to Izaya and try to convince her to help us out."

"Thank you!" said Kasuka, finally feeling some relief at getting some sort of help.

"Go home and rest, you look exhausted."

"I haven't been able to get much sleep lately."

"Do you want me to give you something to help you with your problem?"

"Yes, I would appreciate that," said Kasuka, and Shinra went to get him a few sleeping pills. Kasuka couldn't have been more grateful for the sleeping pills, and he was decided to visit his brother after a good night's sleep. Showing up as tired as he was would only worry Shizuo. He could only hope that Shizuo was all right, because if he wasn't, Kasuka would never be able to forgive himself.

Shinra came back a couple of minutes later and handed him a small plastic bottle. "Take only one before you go to sleep."

"Thank you."

"You're a mess," said Shinra. " It's late now, so I'm going to talk to Izaya tomorrow, but you have to promise me that you'll check on Shizuo."

"I was already planning to do that."

"I can't make any promises that I'll succeed in convincing Izaya, but I'll try my best," said Shinra and led Kasuka to the door. "Now go rest."

"I will, thank you again," said Kasuka and with that he was gone.

 

* * *

 

"I personally couldn't care less," snapped Izaya and barely restrained herself from throwing the phone into the nearest wall.

Namie was being annoying again, driving her crazy about how she had a lot of clients waiting and that they were getting impatient, as if Izaya would care about such trifle matters. She was angry at everyone and everything, and the last thing she wanted to do was to help some bastards that probably hated her guts anyway. Oh, Izaya knew that she was not exactly the most loved person around. The doorbell rang and she got up to open the door.

"We need to talk," said Shinra.

Izaya narrowed her eyes in suspicion but allowed both Shinra and Celty to enter. "What is this about?"

"You're not going to like what I have to say, but I'm going to say it anyway," said Shinra.

"I can already tell."

"It's about Shizuo," said Shinra and waited for a reaction from the Informant.

"No," said Izaya and turned around.

"Please help us get him out. From what Kasuka told me he's going to die in there if we don't do anything about it."

Izaya turned around, a blank expression on her face. "That's none of my business."

Celty approached her, PDA in hand. [ Please, I know that he hurt you, but I don't want to see him dead. ]

Izaya scowled. "How selfish can the two of you be?"

"He won't hurt you again," hurried Shinra to answer. "We will make sure of it. Please Izaya, help us."

Izaya was about to say something nasty in return but she closed her mouth shut in order to seriously consider Shinra's offer. She turned around and paced her office, a pensive look on her face.

Shinra and Celty stood there, hoping beyond hope that Izaya would help them, but judging by the look on her face, they were hoping in vain.

"I will do it," said Izaya as she suddenly stopped her pacing, her pensive look now replaced by a twisted smile.

Both Shinra and Celty almost didn't want to hear what she had to say next.

"I said I will do it," Izaya repeated in a cheerful tone.

Shinra and Celty looked at each other, then again at Izaya.

"There must be a catch," said Shinra and unconsciously drew closer to Celty. He didn't want to admit, but Izaya was one hell of a scary woman.

"Of course there's a catch, there's ALWAYS a catch."

Shinra sighed. "So what's the catch then?"

Izaya looked at Celty, and Shinra almost wished that he wouldn't have brought her with him because whatever the request was it obviously had something to do with Celty.

"Celty will be my personal bodyguard for as long as I deem it to be necessary," said Izaya, her lips set into a smirk, "and if Shizuo so much as touches a hair on my head, she must give me her word that she will kill him."

"No!" Shinra almost screamed, already regretting coming to see Izaya. "No way, Celty stays with me, as always."

Celty patted him on the back to reassure him. [ I will be fine. We have to do this if we want to get Shizuo out. ]

"No! I won't agree to this!" said Shinra and stomped his foot like a child.

Celty approached Izaya. "I accept."

The Informant smirked and went to sit on the chair behind the desk. "Off you go now, Shinra, me and Celty have things to do," said Izaya and almost laughed at the hateful look directed her way. Shinra most definitely did not like to be separated from Celty, but she found it to be a fitting punishment for someone who would betray her that way. Just thinking about getting Shizuo out was an act of betrayal, but to ask her to help get him out... it was too much, even if Shinra was her friend, or more like especially because he was her friend.

Her eyes went back to the laptop and she ignored Shinra and Celty arguing, her mind set on getting Shizuo out of jail. She did not like helping the brute, but the deal she would get out of it was too good to pass. If she had Celty as her personal bodyguard then no one would touch her or try anything funny. She looked at the info she had on those five scumbags and knew that threatening them would be almost as easy as taking candy from a baby. All they needed to do in order to get Shizuo out would be to change their statements and say that it wasn't Shizuo who had attacked them that night, and Izaya knew just the thing to use against them in order to persuade them.

 

* * *

 

"Wait here while I go change," Izaya told Celty as she closed the door to her bedroom.

Celty stayed where she was, somewhat stunned because of the whole situation. Truth be told, she would've rather gone home with Shinra, but she couldn't let Shizuo die in prison no matter what the man had done. When it came right down to it, she always liked Shizuo more than Izaya, and even though Shizuo had royally screwed up, she couldn't abandon him. She had no idea that someone was out to get Shizuo, which is why she didn't exactly think much of Shizuo or feel any kind of pity for him being in jail. That was until she found out that Shizuo was in mortal danger; that changed everything. If she really wanted to get him out she could, it wasn't like humans were a match for her, even though the police made her shiver, but if she got Shizuo then he'd always be on the run, and that wasn't something she would ever want for him. She looked at the clock and wondered why was it taking Izaya so long to change. She shrugged and sat on the couch, then turned on the TV.

"I'm done," said Izaya as she appeared in the living-room a few minutes later.

Celty sprang to her feet in shock. [ What... what is this? ]

Izaya smirked. "My outfit for today."

[ You're... beautiful. ]

Izaya smirk grew wider. "Thanks Celty, I appreciate the compliment."

[ I'm only speaking the truth, although you're really... how should I put this? ]

"Practically naked?" said Izaya as she turned around to give Celty a better view of her whole outfit.

[ It's freezing cold outside. ]

"I'll be fine," said Izaya and grabbed her coat.

[ Where are we going? ]

"We're going to see human trash number one, also known as Ito Hashima."

Celty nodded and followed her out the door.

"I would prefer to ride on your bike if you don't mind," said Izaya and sat on Celty's horse-turned-bike as soon as the Dullahan gave her permission.

Celty followed Izaya's instructions and after a while they stopped in front of a rundown apartment building at the edge of the city. "Wait outside the door and only come in when I call you, alright? Oh, and take my coat please."

Celty nodded and followed her to an apartment at the fifth floor. She hid higher on the staircase and stayed there while Izaya knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" someone barked behind the door and Izaya cringed at the sound, her skin crawling from the mere memory of that pervert's touch.

"Just someone you really want to talk to."

The man cursed but opened the door anyway, only to remain frozen on the spot the moment he saw who was outside his door. "What are you doing here?" asked Ito, his one eye almost bulging out of its socket.

"I just wanna talk, that's all," said Izaya and pushed the door to go inside.

The man was in too much shock to react immediately, but as soon as he came back to his senses he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her towards him, successfully stopping her from further advancing into his apartment.

Izaya pulled out her switchblade and shoved it into Ito's neck, the man gulping and shivering as its edge cut a thin line into his skin.

"W-what do you want bitch?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, that's no way to talk to a guest. Perhaps I should teach you some manners," said Izaya and kicked Ito in the nuts.

The man doubled over in pain and a malicious laugh boomed inside the apartment as Izaya thoroughly enjoyed the pathetic display before her. If any of those five human trash would've succeeded in raping her that night then she would've probably never been able to recover from it. Shizuo was on a whole different level than those cockroaches. Shizuo was a monster, and as such whatever he had done to her was simply because at that moment Shizuo had won against her, just how Izaya won against Shizuo when she pinned that crime on him. Sure, the man didn't get sent to jail in the end, but Izaya still somewhat won because the whole thing cost Shizuo his job.

"You fucking bitch," growled the man once he was able to talk again, successfully waking up Izaya from her musing.

"Ah right," she said and sat on a chair, "we need to talk about that night; you know, that night when you and your buddies tried to rape me."

The man smirked, even though his face was still somewhat twisted in pain. "You're a fine-looking bitch, what can I say, I couldn't help myself. You looked so goddam delicious that I wanted to fuck you into the ground until you'd scream like the dirty whore that you are."

Izaya's face twisted in disgust and she barely stopped herself from slashing the man's throat.

"Besides, you were asking for it in those clothes," continued Ito with a leer on his face, "and even now you're asking for it. Just look at that skirt, I can almost see your panties, not to mention that t-shirt you're wearing, showing such delicious cleavage."

Izaya had to take a deep breath to calm down, least she wanted to end up committing murder. "I knew you'd remember me if I came to you in this outfit. My face was pretty messed up that night so I wasn't sure you would recognize me."

"You're right, I could remember those thighs even in my sleep," said Ito who finally got up from the floor and took a step in her direction. "Ah, I know, you want to continue from where we left off?"

Izaya waved the switchblade around. "I don't think so. I'm only here to threaten you after all."

"Threaten me?" asked the man, amusement clear in his voice.

"Yes, threaten you. You will go to the police and tell them that Heiwajima Shizuo is not the man who beat you and your buddies that night."

"Now why would I do such a silly thing, considering I lost my fucking eye because of him?" yelled Ito and pointed at the bandages covering the right side of his face. "That fucker punched me so hard that my eye... fuck, I don't even want to think about it!"

Izaya snickered.

"Bitch, get the fuck out or get the fuck into my bed. Your choice."

"You will do as I say."

"The hell I will! You think that I'm scared of you just because you're holding onto that shitty knife?" said Ito and made a move to take the switchblade out of her hand, only to end up on his back on the dirty floor, Izaya crouched on top of him and the sharp edge of her blade harshly pushing into his neck once again.

"And you think I'm weak just because you managed to catch me back then?"

"Yeah, I think you're weak," Ito bit back.

"Then if I'm weak, and you just lost to me, then that makes you extremely weak," said Izaya chuckling.

"Tch! I still haven't recovered from the injuries that bastard gave me."

"There you go, that's exactly why you five pathetic excuses for human beings succeeded in capturing me that night. I was also injured from a previous fight."

Ito laughed. "What you really meant to say is that you got fucked really hard before we got to you, ain't that right?"

Izaya pushed the switchblade harder into his throat. "That's none of your business. You will change your statement!"

"I already said no, bitch," said Ito and spat her in the face.

Izaya looked at him with a blank expression, then used her hand to wipe away the disgusting saliva off her face. "Celty!"

Celty kicked open the door mere seconds later.

"I'm fine," said Izaya to reassure Celty when she figured that the woman must've thought she was in danger. "Can you please hold him down for me."

Ito immediately started to struggle, his fear turning into full blown panic when the smoke coming out from underneath Celty's helmet started immobilizing his limbs one by one. "What the fuck?! Let me go," he yelled, his entire body shaking in fear.

"Oh, this is just my friend," said Izaya and cut one button off Ito's shirt. "She's actually very nice once you get to know her". She cut another button. "You don't want to make her mad, do you?"

Ito's eyes jumped from one woman to the other, his heart clenching in fear at what they had in store for him.

"Be quiet," said Izaya and cut off the last button, "or she'll make you quiet; permanently. Now let's go back to what we were talking earlier before you treated me so rudely. You will change your statement, yes?"

Ito nodded frantically, knowing that he had no choice if he wanted to keep his life.

"Good. Now, before we leave, I'll give you something to remember me by," said Izaya and started carving into the man's chest.


	11. Fear The Reaper

"Ah, that felt good," said Izaya as she walked out of the apartment leaving a mutilated and passed-out Ito on the floor.

[ Wasn't that a bit too much? ]

Izaya turned towards Celty with a smirk on her face. "No, he most certainly deserved it."

[ You shouldn't do something as dangerous as this again. ]

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself," said Izaya as she folded her arms in front of her chest. "Besides, you are here to help me in case something goes wrong."

[ I'm sorry to say this, but while I never worried about the old Izaya, I do worry a bit about you now, as strange as that might sound. ]

"I don't need you to worry about me. What I need you for is to kill Shizuo if he tries anything once I get him out," said Izaya and sighed. "I can't believe I'm helping you people in getting that monster out of prison."

[ We appreciate it. We know how hard it must be for you. ]

"I don't want to hear any of you crying if I end up killing him. I will never forgive him for what he did to me. He will pay!"

Celty's shoulders slumped, really hating the whole situation. [ You have the right to do so, I won't argue with that, but I hope that one day the two of you will forgive each other. ]

"That'll never happen," muttered Izaya and got on the bike after Celty handed her the coat.

[ Why are you even dressed like this? ]

"Silly question my dear Celty, silly question."

[ This Dullahan needs an answer to her silly question. ]

Izaya sighed. "Because I don't want any of them to figure out who I really am, and this is mostly how I looked that night, which is nothing like the regular stuff I wear. The last thing I need right now is for them to open their filthy mouths and go around saying how they caught the great Orihara Izaya."

[ I see, that makes sense. ]

"Besides," added Izaya, "I was bleeding and I think they figured out that I had been... you know, raped."

[ I'm sorry. ]

"It's not your fault Celty."

[ I know. ]

"I also gave the police and the people at the hospital a fake name, so as far as anyone is concerned, Orihara Izaya had nothing to do with the events of that night."

Celty got on the bike. [ Where to next? ]

"Take me to the hospital."

Celty nodded and drove to the next target on Izaya's list.

"I won't need you for this one, so you can wait outside."

[ Are you sure? ] asked Celty once they stopped in front of the hospital.

"I'm sure, this will be an easy one."

[ As you wish. ]

Izaya left Celty behind and went up to the place where Ogami was hospitalized. The fact that the kid hadn't been released yet only served to further prove that Izaya's theory about the mystery man being Ogami's father had been was right. His action indicated that he was a caring father, and the fact that he didn't bother taking care of his son until recently only meant that the man was not aware of Ogami's existence. The mother lived in poverty and she must've realized that her son needed medical attention she couldn't afford, which must've pushed her hand enough to appeal to the boy's father. Visiting hours were over, so Izaya didn't have to worry about running into the patient's family. At first Izaya only thought the guy had suffered broken bones, but after further investigations she found out that he had also suffered internal cranial bleeding. Shizuo truly did not go easy on them. Once she arrived in front of the private room she pressed the doorknob and entered.

"Who's there?" asked Ogami and turned on the lights. "YOU!" he yelped in fright, suddenly turning as white as sheet.

"Yes, me, I'm happy to see that you remember me," said Izaya and sat on the chair next to the bed.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"Well, you see, I'm not here to end you miserable life, if that's what you're worried about, although I must confess that it's tempting."

"Plea-please..."

"Please what? 'Please don't kill? Please leave? Please don't tell anyone what a a twisted little shit I am?'"

"Please don't tell anyone!" begged Ogami.

"That's what I thought. It'd be really bad for you if your mother and your friends were to find out how you tried to gang-rape an injured woman."

"Please don't tell them! I'll do anything!"

Izaya smirked, thinking how easy it had been to scare this one. "Of course I won't, but you have to do something for me in return."

"Anything! Yes, I'll do anything!"

"Great! What I want from you is to change your statement and say that Heiwajima Shizuo was not the one who beat up the lot of you that night. Tell them you thought it was him, but that you are now certain that they got the wrong man."

"I can't do that! If I do it then the others won't like it."

"Just do as I say or I'll accuse you of rape."

"WHAT?" screamed a terrified Ogami. "I didn't do anything!"

Izaya chuckled. "Aww, maybe you didn't, but if I say you did then the cops will believe me."

Ogami furrowed his brows. "Someone did rape you before we got to you, isn't that right?"

Izaya's heart started beating faster and she forced a smile on her face. "Yes, you are right, hence if Heiwajima Shizuo says he beat you guys up for raping me, then you guys will end up in jail too."

"Then that asshole will still be in jail, and you would have won nothing."

"That's fine," said Izaya with a blank expression on her face.

"You wouldn't be able to prove that I was the one who raped you."

"I don't have to because they will believe me anyway. I'd just be the poor victim who was walking home from work and got assaulted by five men. The hospital and the police already have photos of all my injuries and they kept asking me to tell them who was the one who did such a thing to me."

"You bitch! Why you wanna set me up for this instead of the guy who actually did rape you?"

"That's none of your business, besides, I'm letting you scumbags go without ruining your lives, so you should be grateful and take the deal already instead of wasting my time arguing about pointless things."

"I..."

"You're quite pretty for a boy your age. I'm sure the other prisoners will treat you like a princess."

Ogami was visibly shaking.

"Don't worry about the others, I will talk to them," said Izaya and got up. "I'm going to assume that you will change your statement, tomorrow. If I hear that you failed to heed my request I will make you regret it."

Izaya left the room, annoyed that she had to admit to have been raped. She could've used Celty instead, but she didn't want Ogami's father to know of Celty's existence. Next one on the list was Toushirou.

[ How did it go? ] asked Celty as soon as Izaya got out of the hospital.

"It went fine, now let's go see Toushirou Yamazaki."

They both got on the bike and Izaya was decided to use Celty against this guy because it would be impossible to convince him to change his statement when Shizuo put his brother into a coma. "You're coming in with me this time," said Izaya and went up the stairs, "and try to look scary, ok?"

[ Sure, if that's what you want. ]

Izaya knocked on the door, and as soon as Toushirou opened it he was pushed inside and thrown into a wall by Celty, a black shadowy scythe hovering dangerously near his throat.

"Hi there, do you remember me?" asked Izaya when the man finally stopped screaming.

He raised terrified eyes at her and spoke in a shaky voice. "Y-yes, I re-remember you."

"Great, now I need you to do something for me. If you fail to do so then my friend here will chop off that ugly head of yours," said Izaya, a malicious grin splitting her face in two. She absolutely loved seeing these so-called tough guys trembling in fear.

Toushirou gulped. "What can I do for y-you?"

"I want you to tell the police that Heiwajima Shizuo was not the one who attacked you and your brother that night."

"Fuck that!" snapped Toushirou, a look of absolute hate on his face. "That fucker put my brother in a coma, there is no way in fucking hell I'd do it."

"Are you sure about that? Celty, could you please do the honors?" asked Izaya, smiling as she ran a finger across her own throat as though she was cutting it with a knife.

Celty raised her scythe and Toushirou screamed in fear, trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Please, please don't kill me!" he begged, and Izaya chuckled at the pathetic display of yet another one of her attackers.

"Do we have a deal then?"

No answer. "Shall we pay a visit to your brother Rei then?"

"No! Please, anything but Rei, please don't kill him! I'll do anything, I'll change my statement, just leave us alone."

"Then we have a deal. Oh, and can you please inform Tetsuo Yamazaki of our arrangement? I'm not in the mood to deal with one more coward tonight."

"Y-yes."

"Right now," said Izaya and left after Toushirou's frantic nods.

 

* * *

 

Ito moaned in pain as he slowly regained his consciousness. "W-what the f-fuck did that bitch do," he wondered as he got up on shaky legs to find a mirror, completely ignoring the phone ringing. His chest was a bloody mess and he was dizzy because of the blood loss. so by the time he reached the bathroom he had to grab onto the sink to steady himself. He turned on the water and slowly washed away the blood, his expression morphing into one of absolute horror as the kanji carved into his chest became visible.

強姦犯

Everything around him started to spin and he rushed to the toilet to empty the contents of his stomach. "T-that bitch," he whimpered in horror, his eyes wide in disbelief. She had written goukanhan into his chest. His life was now over.

The phone kept ringing, and with the last strength he had left he got up and went to answer it. "WHAT?"

_"Hey bro, it's me, Tetsuo."_

"I don't give a fuck. Leave me alone!" he yelled into the phone and threw it on the couch. He was about to turn around and go get some things to clean up his wounds, which were still bleeding, when the phone rang again. "FUCK YOU MAN! I don't have time for your shit right now, OK?"

_"Man, I can't hear you very well. Speak louder."_

" **FUCK YOU!** IS THAT LOUD ENOUGH, YOU DEAF SON OF A BITCH?"

_"What the fuck man, why you being such a dick? It's not like I chose to have hearing problems."_

"I'M SORRY I DON'T GIVE A SHIT RIGHT NOW. I HAVE MY OWN PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH!" Ito yelled, and he was about to throw the phone into the nearest wall when Tetsuo mentioned something about Toushirou and a monster. "Pass me Toushirou, I can't deal with you right now."

_"What?"_

"PASS ME TOUSHIROU!"

_"Hey dude, Toushirou here now. Listen, I know this sounds hard to believe, but I swear that I got attacked by a monster. Seriously man, I'm not kidding."_

"M-me too," said Ito, his voice a bit shaky. "That bitch came to your place too, right?"

_"Yeah, so you saw them too?"_

"Yeah."

 _"She asked me to change my statement. I didn't want to at first, but then again I didn't want to die either,"_ said Toushiou, his voice trembling at the memory of that horrible encounter.

Ito moaned, the killer pain in his chest making it very hard for him to talk.

_"Are you ok? You sounds like you're in pain or something.”_

“No, I'm not ok. That bitch went ahead and carved into my chest!”

Toushirou stayed silent for a few seconds, as though he was afraid of what he would hear next. _“What did... what did she carve bro?”_

“Rapist,” said Ito, venom lacing his voice.

_“Oh fuck! That’s not good.”_

“No shit! Look, I’m about to pass out right now, so talk to you later.”

_“I’m coming over with Tetsuo. You sound like you need help.”_

“Thanks, I’ll be waiting,” said Ito and collapsed on the couch, the dizziness finally getting to him. He closed his eyes, and he must’ve drifted into unconsciousness, because when he opened them again it was to the sounds of someone banging on the door. He groaned and forced himself to get up and open the door, then winced when Toushirou’s screech resonated throughout the whole apartment building when the man saw the kanji on his chest.

“Oh fuck, we’re so dead,” said Toushirou, totally panicking at the prospect of something similar happening to him as well.

Ito staggered and Tetsou grabbed him by the arm to steady him. Toushirou did the same and with the help of both his friends he was was half-dragged back to the couch. Tetsuo went to get some things to disinfect the cuts while Toushirou started wiping Ito's chest with a piece of wet cloth.

"Hey," said Ito as he was biting into his lower lip from the intense pain, "call Ogami."

"Right," said Toushirou and grabbed the phone which rang five times before Ogami's voice could be heard on the other end.

_"Hello?"_

"It's me, Toushirou. I was wondering if the bitch from that night paid you a visit too."

Ogami almost growled into the phone. _"Yeah! Did she threaten you too?"_

"Yeah, dude, and I said yes, because I really didn't wanna die, or worse, them hurting Rei."

 _"Them?"_ asked Ogami puzzled. _"Who's them?"_

"That bitch and the monster."

_"I only saw the woman from that time, no one else. She said that if I don't change my statement then she'll accuse me of rape."_

"So you didn't see the monster?"

_"What monster?"_

"Never mind, just be glad that you didn't."

They were all so screwed...

 

* * *

 

As soon as Izaya got home she rushed to her room to change, tired of the slutty look she had been forced to adopt in order for her to achieve her goal. Well, it was more like everyone else's goal, but she didn't want to dwell on such thoughts anymore. Besides, it had been much easier than she had expected. At first she thought that she would have to threaten them with things from their past, but using Celty definitely sped up the process.

[ You think they will do it? ] asked Celty as soon as Izaya came back into the living-room.

"Of course they will, they aren't dumb enough to think they have a choice."

[ You don't seem happy about this. ]

"I was coerced by you people into helping my worst enemy, so how do you think I feel?"

Celty's shoulders slumped. [ I'm sorry, but we couldn't let him die. ]

"Tch! He would have deserved it!"

Celty started typing something but one of Izaya's phones rang and she went to answer it. "Hello?"

_"Hello there, Orihara-san."_

"Shiki-san, how did you get this number?"

_"It wasn't that hard to find. You are famous after all."_

"Is this about that thing with Akane?"

_"No, don't worry about that, for now anyway, this is about something else."_

"Oh?"

_"There's a new group in town, but no one knows anything about them. Find out who they are and what they want and I'll forget about the whole 'Akane thing' as you put it."_

Izaya cursed under her breath, not wanting to help the man but knowing that she had no choice in the matter. "I understand. I will look into it," said Izaya, annoyance clear in her tone.

_"Don't be so angry, Orihara-san, I'm trying to do you a favor here. If Akane's grand-father ever finds out about what you did, wouldn't it be better if he owed you a favor?"_

Izaya was quiet.

_"So do we have a deal?"_

"Yes," said Izaya. "What's the group's name?"

_"I'll let you figure that one out since you're such a great Informant."_

Izaya ended the call and tightened her grip on the phone. "That annoying, smug bastard!"

Celty approached her cautiously. [ What did he want? ]

"Some stupid thing about a new group in town."

[ I have something to confess. ]

Izaya narrowed her eyes. It didn't sound good. "What is it?"

[ A while ago Shiki-san asked me to spy on you. ]

"That bastard," said Izaya through gritted teeth.

[ I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I didn't think it was important. I didn't accept anyway. I think he knows that something happened to you because he wanted to know what had you so terrified. ]

Izaya chuckled darkly. "That bastard, I'm going to make him regret ever trying to mess with me."

[ Please don't do anything dangerous. ]

"Don't worry about it, I'll be fine. Also, thank you telling me about it, but more importantly, thank you for refusing his request."

[ It's nothing! ]

"I'm going to get some sleep, see you in the morning."

[ Good night. ]

Celty watched as Izaya closed the door to her room before she sat on the couch and turned on the TV, her mind someplace else even as she changed the channels. She didn't think it'd be possible, but she was starting to miss Shinra. Was she so used to his presence that she couldn't stand being away from him? It was a disturbing thought, especially when she wasn't even human to begin with. She shouldn't have such feelings towards anyone, especially when no one knew what would happen once she got her head back. Then again, she did spend many years living with Shinra, so perhaps it was quite natural to miss him. Her phone rang and she almost jumped in surprise wondering who would actually call her. She checked the name and her eyes would've rolled in her head if she had a head.

_"Celtyyyyy! I miss you!" whined Shinra into the phone. "When are you coming baaaaack?"_

Celty was amused by his antics.

_"I know, I know, you can't answer but I wanted to tell you how much I miss you anyway, cause I miss you sooo much, but I already told you that, haven't I?"_

Celty ended the call and messaged him. [ You're being very silly right now. ]

_< I can't help it if I want you to be here with me!  >_

[ I think Shizuo will be out of jail soon. ]

_< REALLY?  >_

[ Yes. ]

_< I'll come over tomorrow so tell me more then, ok?  >_

[ Ok, good night. ]

_< Good night!  <3 x Infinity >_

Celty mentally chuckled and put the phone away, hoping the night would go by fast.

 

* * *

 

Kasuka kept twisting and turning the entire night, unable to sleep when it turned out that his visit to the prison had been useless. Apparently Shizuo was in trouble again and he couldn't see anyone because he was in solitary. All the idiot had to do was to stay out of trouble at least while he was in there, but apparently he wasn't even capable of doing as much.

The sun was starting to rise, so he got out of bed and rushed to the kitchen to make some coffee. He had filming later in the afternoon, which meant that he had enough time to pay Shinra a visit and ask him if he had talked to Izaya. He would've wanted to leave right then, but he figured it wouldn't be nice to show up at someone's door at six-something in the morning.

He ran a hand through his hair in sheer frustration at not being able to do anything for Shizuo and tried to calm down. His own person felt alien. Heiwajima Kasuka did not worry about anyone to such a degree; at least he didn't remember ever doing so in the past. He was supposed to be emotionless, but it seems like his entire personality was doing a complete shift when it came to Shizuo.

He yawned and took a sip of the coffee, trying really hard not to fall asleep right then and there. It was ridiculous how he would only get sleepy during the day when he had to stay awake. Then again, he still had time for a nap so he put the coffee down on the table and rushed to his room where he set the clock to wake him up three hours later. He fell asleep almost instantly, and when he woke up again he would've given anything to be able to go back to sleep. It actually felt worse to get a short nap and to be forced to wake up instead of not sleeping at all. He quickly got out of bed, changed, then rushed to Shinra.

"Kasuka-kun! You're up early," said Shinra when Kasuka showed up at his door that morning.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"It's fine, I woke up an hour ago," said Shinra and invited him inside.

"Have you talked to Orihara-san?"

"Did you ever doubt me? Of course I did, in fact, Celty told me that Shizuo will be out very soon. Speaking of Shizuo, did you see him yesterday?"

"No, they didn't let me see him."

"What? Why?"

"Apparently he got into a fight, so they sent him to solitary."

Shinra rolled his eyes. "Of course. Anyway, I was about to leave for Izaya's place. Do you want to come?"

"Yes."

"Alright, let's go!" said Shinra and both of them were out the door a few minutes later.

As soon as they arrived at Izaya's apartment Shinra threw himself into Celty's arms. "Celty!!! I missed you so so so so so much!"

Celty tried to pry Shinra away from her person but the man wouldn't let go no matter what. [ You're not twelve years old anymore, I hope you know that. ]

Shinra grinned and finally let her go. "Where's Izaya?"

[ Changing. ]

"Hello Celty-san," said Kasuka who felt somewhat embarrassed for witnessing Shinra's antics.

[ Hello! Shizuo will be out of jail soon, so relax. You look exhausted. ]

"I still can't sleep very well."

"Didn't those sleeping pills work?"

"No."

Izaya came out of her bedroom and she stiffened at the sight of Kasuka inside her apartment. "Oh, it's you," she said in an annoyed tone.

"I apologize for entering your home uninvited. If my presence bothers you I will leave."

Izaya sighed. "It's not that you annoy me, it's just that you remind me of **him**."

"I want to thank you for helping my good-for-nothing brother. He does not deserve your kindness," said Kasuka and took a bow.

"You're rushing with your thanks. I don't remember saying that I won't take revenge on him for the what he did to me," said Izaya and sat on the chair behind her desk.

Kasuka stayed quiet, knowing there was nothing he could say or do to placate the woman.

"I expect he'll be out in the next two or three days if everything goes according to plan."

Kasuka's eyes widened, finding it hard to believe that Shizuo would finally get out. He smiled then, knowing that from that day forth he'd forever be grateful to Orihara Izaya.

"I knew you could do it," chirped Shinra. "Ouch!" he yelped the next second when Celty smacked him on the head for rubbing her shoulder. "No love, I tell you, no love," he said and sighed dramatically, making everyone else laugh.


	12. Watching Over You

Kasuka was pacing outside the jail's gate as he waited for Shizuo to come out. The prison guards seemed very reluctant to set him free, but after Kasuka insisted and threw the papers of his release in their faces they had no choice but to agree. He couldn't believe that after such a seemingly unending nightmare he'd finally get to see his brother out of this hellhole they called Pushu prison. He heard the gate open and he saw his brother being thrown onto the pavement. "Nii-san!" he screamed and ran to him.

"He's all yours now, kid," said Okuro, some obvious resentment in his voice.

"What have you done to him?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, just take him and leave," muttered Okuro and closed the gate behind him.

Kasuka had never felt so close to getting up and murdering someone as he did at that moment, but his brother was much more important than taking revenge on the guards. He heard Shizuo moan in pain and he kept calling his name hoping that he would wake up. "Nii-san, please wake up!"

"Ka-Kasuka," Shizuo finally said and opened one eye.

Kasuka cringed at the sight of the blood-red eye. "Nii-san, let's get you out of here," he said softly, but Shizuo couldn't move and he was too heavy for him to carry, which left Kasuka with no other choice but to ask the taxi driver for help. The man seemed reluctant to help but eventually he agreed to the request when Kasuka passed him an impressive amount of bills. They both carried Shizuo to the taxi and then the man drove up to Kasuka's apartment.

"I'll help you," said the man as he grabbed Shizuo's arm and pulled him out of the car.

"Thank you," said Kasuka, and they both carried Shizuo up to the apartment where they laid him gently on the bed.

"Will he be ok?"

"Yes, thank you again for your help, I couldn't have done it without you."

The man smiled and scratched the back of his head. "No problem, you paid me a lot more than you should have, so now I can buy something nice for my kids thanks to you. Here's my private number if you ever need a taxi again," said the man and handed Kasuka a piece of paper with a number scribbled on it.

Kasuka forced a smile on his face. "I will," he said and led the man to the door.

As soon as the man was out of his house he rushed to his bedroom to check on Shizuo. His eyes roamed all over his unconscious brother's form, his mind going a mile per second trying to figure out what was wrong with him. It was then when he noticed that the clothes Shizuo wore didn't look like they were his, so he pulled up the t-shirt and gasped when he saw the bruises covering his torso. "Nii-san," said Kasuka in a trembling voice. "What have they done to you?" There was no answer however, and Kasuka felt miserable for not being able to protect him. It was obvious that those guard had beaten Shizuo, and the broken vessel in the eye that Kasuka thought was bad seemed insignificant compared to the many bruises covering the now too thin body of his brother. What he couldn't understand was how they managed to damage him so much because his brother was anything but weak. He took off the shirt Shizuo was wearing and brought a warm cloth to clean him up, some of the wounds still bleeding a little. There were also bruises starting to form on his face, and that disturbed Kasuka greatly because it meant that he had interrupted them just as they were beating up Shizuo to a bloody pulp. Who knew what other wounds Shizuo had and that he couldn't see? He was starting to panic a bit, so he got up and went to look for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Kasuka here. I brought Shizuo back to my apartment, but he seems injured. Do you think you can come and take a look?"

Shinra didn't need to be told twice. "I'll be right there," he said and put the phone down, then rushed to his lab wishing that he had his beloved Celty to give him a ride there. He called a taxi then picked up a few things he needed and shoved them into his bag. Shinra almost yelled at the driver a few times to drive faster, but he kept his mouth shut and waited, knowing there was nothing the driver could do when the streets were so busy. He practically threw the money at the driver as soon as they arrived, and then he rushed up to Kasuka's apartment. "Where's Shizuo?" he asked the moment Kasuka opened the door.

"Right this way, follow me."

Shinra did as he was told, and the second he saw Shizuo's unconscious form he cringed at how thin, weak and hurt the man appeared to be. "It is as you said, they starved him in there." He took a few things from his bag to clean the wounds.

"Yes, that is also what I thought the first time I went to visit him."

"Did he look this bad last time you were there?"

"No."

"Well, he'll live, but he won't be able to get out of bed for a while from the looks of it. Are you going to let him stay here?"

Kasuka looked at Shinra in surprise, as though he found the question to be insulting. "Of course."

"Great. I'm going to take a sample of his blood to see if they injected him with something. They might've drugged him to keep him compliant, that being the only reasonable explanation for him ending up in this state."

"I see. Thank you for all your help until now," said Kasuka.

"Don't worry about it. Shizuo is my friend too. I will never be able to forgive him for what he did to Izaya, but what I can say is that she isn't completely blameless in all of this. She knew Shizuo has a short fuse, yet she kept trying to drive him over the edge. No one expected him to react in such a way though, I was quite shocked myself," said Shinra as he covered Shizuo with a blanket.

"I still can't believe it either," said Kasuka and looked at his brother's unconscious form.

"Since you want him to stay here with you until he gets better, then you'll have to take care of him. As soon as he wakes up try to feed him something. I have to go check on my Celty now, so see you later. Call me if you or Shizuo need anything," said Shinra and left the two of them alone.

Kasuka sat next to his brother and gently touched the bruised cheek. "Get better soon, or I'll never forgive myself for leaving you alone in there for so long." He knew that Shizuo couldn't hear him, but that didn't discourage Kasuka from continuing. "After I found out what you did I resented you for a while, and a part of me wanted to leave you there to rot... I'm sorry, please forgive me, I will never abandon you again," said Kasuka and pulled away his hand.

"T-there's no-nothing _―_ "

"NII-SAN?!"

"Nothing to f-forgive."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Kasuka kept repeating as he squeezed his hand.

"Water p-please."

Kasuka let go of the frail hand and rushed to the kitchen to bring a glass of water. "Here," he said as he raised Shizuo's head to help him get a few gulps of water. "You need to eat. Can you eat?"

"Milk?"

"That's not food nii-san!"

"S-sorry, I can't _―_ "

"I understand," said Kasuka and went to the fridge to take out a carton of milk. He always kept milk in his fridge in case his brother ever came to visit, but Shizuo never did. He was glad however that he never stopped hoping. "Here you go," he told him.

Shizuo parted his lips and started drinking the much needed liquid through a straw, then he sighed and closed his eyes once he was done. "T-that was good, thank y-you," he said and immediately fell asleep.

Kasuka breathed in relief. He didn't get a chance to have a proper talk with him, but it didn't look like Shizuo blamed him for anything. Even better than that was the fact that besides being tired, Shizuo didn't appear to be traumatized as a result of his time spent in jail. To even assume that Heiwajima Shizuo could be traumatized seemed like a blasphemous thing to say, but after seeing Izaya he wasn't going to assume anything about anyone anymore. _Even the strongest can fall down and break._ Now that he was finally done filming he was determined to spend his time taking care of his brother He was offered the main lead in a couple of movies, but Shizuo was more important, and as such, Kasuka decided to refuse. He still couldn't believe that Shizuo was out, especially after he ended up losing hope more than once. In fact, what was even harder to believe was that Izaya had been the one to make it all possible. The woman worried him because there was no way in hell that she'd simply let it go. Perhaps she was right when she had told him to not thank her. Who knew what she had in store for Shizuo? He would have to make sure that she couldn't get to him.

 

* * *

 

Izaya was woken up from her musing as she heard the doorbell. She was about to get up and answer it but she sat back down once she saw that Celty was already on it.

"Celty!!! I missed you so much!" whined Shinra as soon as the door opened. "Izaya, you evil creature! Let my Celty come home!"

"No," was Izaya's immediate response.

[ A deal is a deal Shinra, so stop bothering Izaya. ]

"But Celty _―_ "

[ Why are you here? ]

"To see my lovely Dullahan of course, and also to tell you that Shizuo is out," said Shinra and immediately noticed Izaya's rigid posture.

"So the brute is out," said Izaya in what appeared to be a neutral tone. "It's a pity he didn't die in there."

"How can you even say that?"

She stared blankly at Shinra for a while but didn't answer.

"They starved and beat him in there. He looks horrible."

"Oh, wait, am I supposed to feel sorry for him?" said Izaya and got up. "Get out of my house."

"Iza _―_ "

"Now Shinra."

Shinra gave her an annoyed look but left anyway, taking Celty with him so that they could talk for a while longer.

[ You shouldn't have mentioned his name. ]

"I've learned my lesson," said Shinra as he leaned against the wall outside of Izaya's apartment.

[ Will Shizuo be ok? ]

"Yeah, but it will take a while for him to get his strength back. I think they drugged him too. It would've been the only way for them to handle someone like Shizuo."

[ That's awful! ]

"For them he was just another criminal, so they didn't think they were doing anything bad."

[ Still, even prisoners have rights. ]

"True, but whoever put Shizuo in jail made sure that he got 'special treatment' while he was there."

[ You still don't know who it was? ]

"No, Izaya hasn't told me anything, but I'm sure that she knows."

[ What if that man comes after Shizuo? ]

"That's a possibility,"

[ Now I'm worried. ]

"Me too, my lovely Celty, me too," said Shinra and pushed himself away from the wall. "I have to go now, but I'll come visit you tomorrow. Hopefully Izaya won't kick me out again."

[ Just don't mention Shizuo and you'll be fine. ]

"See ya."

[ Until tomorrow. ]

"Yes, until tomorrow."

Celty watched as Shinra walked away and she had to stop herself from following after him. She hated to admit, but she was already missing him. She opened the door and stepped inside, only to find Izaya back at her desk.

"I see he finally left," she said in a clearly annoyed tone.

Celty approached her. [ I'm sorry. ]

"For what?"

[ For Shinra being so inconsiderate. ]

Izaya didn't say anything and instead kept typing away on her computer.

[ I'm sorry as well. ]

Izaya raised her head and looked at Celty. "You didn't do anything wrong, and even though I know that you still care about Shizuo, I can't blame you for that either. Shizuo is a close friend of yours, so why should you care more about me than about your friend?"

Celty almost dropped her PDA at Izaya's words, but she quickly recovered and started typing away. [ Shizuo WAS a close friend. Now I can't look at him the same way as I did before. ]

Izaya nodded. "I imagine you feel betrayed."

[ Very much so! I always saw him as a good man who would never hurt others intentionally. ]

"I remember he was quite hellbent on..." started Izaya but couldn't finish the sentence. "I would've never approached him that day had I know he'd end up losing it completely."

[ What did you do? ]

"There was this slut clinging to him, and it bothered me to see him so excited about the whole thing. And no, before you ask, I wasn't jealous. It's just that it annoyed me to see the brute acting so human-like. Brutes should act like brutes and stay away from humans instead of trying to mingle with them."

[ Those are some harsh words. ]

"Perhaps, but now I know for certain that I was not wrong about him."

[ I won't defend him, but I feel sorry for him. He never asked for any of it."

"Neither did I, I hope you know that."

[ Of course! ] Celty hurried to answer. [ Who would ask for such a thing? ]

"Stay with me Celty, until I'm ready to let you go."

[ I will. ]

"More than anything else I'm trying to punish Shinra," said Izaya with a smirk on her face.

Celty inwardly giggled. [ He'll live. ]

They spent the rest of the day in companionable silence.

 

* * *

 

Kasuka stayed by Shizuo's side the entire day and night too. He knew his brother was strong, but it was the first time he saw him looking so weak, and he didn't want to risk anything happening to Shizuo while he was away. Besides, he never admitted it to anyone, but he did miss hanging out with his brother the same way they did when they were children. Even back then they didn't talk much to each other, but it felt good to stand by Shizuo's side. Actually he found Shizuo's behavior to be quite fascinating, so he used to spend most of the time observing him. It was hard to understand how Shizuo could lose control over his emotions so easily when Kasuka himself found it hard to even express himself. Had it not been for his brother running into that agent then Kasuka would not have been an actor and would still have no way to express himself.

He fell asleep sometimes after midnight and when he woke up the next day it was to Shizuo's amused face looking at him. "Nii-san!" said Kasuka and scrambled to get out of bed. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep."

"Don't worry about it, you didn't bother me one bit, I slept like a log," said Shizuo and gave Kasuka one of those rare smiles that were only reserved for his sibling.

"How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I'm starving," said Shizuo with a deep sigh.

"I'll go bring you something to eat."

Shizuo cringed. "I'm not sure I even have the energy to eat," he said and tried to raise his hand only to drop it after only a few centimeters into the air."

"No problem, I'll feed you."

"I'm not a child you know!"

"I never said you were," said Kasuka as he left the room.

Shizuo took a deep breath and closed his eyes, knowing that he was safe with Kasuka. When he was still in prison he was starting to doubt that he would make it out alive. He tried to follow the rules, but when they started yelling at him for something he had no control over, he lost it. Okuro did indeed lower the dose on the shots, and eventually Shizuo was allowed to eat a bit more and even get out of his cell with the rest of the inmates, but having him work in a factory with fragile equipment had been a bad idea. _Someone like me shouldn't be allowed anywhere near fragile objects._ They should've known he couldn't do it, or perhaps they knew and that was why they made him work there in the first place. He didn't even know what he was making, but it was something related to cars as far as he knew. The metal just bent in his hand, and when they started yelling and demanding for an explanation, Shizuo ended up opening his mouth before he even had a chance to think things through. He told them to fuck off, which hadn't been a smart move, but he was too far gone to think of the consequences of his actions. The next few days were a blur to him, and besides the mind-numbing pain he didn't remember much. Just because he had a lot of strength it didn't mean that his body didn't feel any pain or that he couldn't get injured. It hurt so much sometimes that it took everything he had to not scream out in pain. It wasn't from the lack of trying on their part mind you, but Shizuo simply did not wish to give Okuro the satisfaction. He shivered at the mere memory of the man. Shizuo had met many twisted people in his life, but Okuro was on a completely different level. Okuro actually believed that what he was doing was right and that the punishments were something that Shizuo deserved. Had it not been for Kasuka saving him at the last minute... no, Shizuo didn't even want to remember those last few words the sadistic guard told him just before someone showed up and ordered the man to set him free.

"I brought some instant soup, I hope you don't mind," said Kasuka as he entered the room.

"I love it," said Shizuo and licked his lips in anticipation. God, he was so hungry...

"It's not healthy, but it's the only thing I can think of that you can eat without struggling too much. Making anything else would take time, and you need something now."

"Like I said, I love it. Give me the spoon though, I think I can eat by myself," said Shizuo and raised a shaky hand.

"Ok, here you go," said Kasuka and handed him the spoon. He could tell from the grimace on his brother's face that it took him a lot of effort to even do as much, but it was what he wanted and Kasuka wasn't abbout to argue.

"I'll be right back," said Kasuka when he heard the doorbell ring, leaving Shizuo to try to eat by himself even though he hated seeing his brother struggle so much to do such a simple task as putting food into his mouth.

"Orihara-san!" Kasuka nearly yelped when he opened the door and he was met with the sight of Orihara Izaya and Celty Sturluson. "What are you _―_ "

"I'm here to talk to your brother, obviously," said Izaya and entered the apartment without even waiting to be invited inside. "Where is he? Is he even conscious?"

"Orihara-san, please wait until he can at least get out of bed before you try to enact your revenge on him."

"Here," said Izaya and passed him her switchblade. "Today I won't do anything besides talking, I give you my word."

Kasuka looked at the switchblade, then back at Izaya, and he knew that he had no choice but to let the woman do as she pleased, especially after she had been the one to save Shizuo's life, sort of. He invited Celty inside then pointed in the direction of the room in which Izaya could find Shizuo.

"Can he move?" asked Izaya, and Kasuka could tell that she was worried about how Shizuo might react after seeing her.

"No, he can barely eat by himself, so he's pretty much defenseless at the moment. I'll trust you not to hurt him."

"I won't," Izaya reassured him before she started walking with heavy steps in the direction of the room where she knew that she would find the man who succeeded in humiliating her more than anyone else in her entire life. She was terrified at the thought of seeing him again, but she knew that Celty was nearby, so if things would somehow get bad then she wouldn't hesitate to call her. She had underestimated Shizuo once; she would never do the same mistake again. She opened the door and her eyes went wide at how thin the man actually appeared to be. Kasuka really wasn't joking when he said that Shizuo wouldn't have lasted much longer in prison. She saw red eyes raise from the bowl of soup and when their eyes met Shizuo lost the grip he had on the spoon.

"I-Izaya!" he nearly yelped. "What are you _―_?"

"Doing here? I only wanted to see how you were doing, Shizu-chan. Obviously. Why else would I be here?"

"But you hate me!"

"Of course I do, but that's beside the point here," said Izaya as she sat on the chair next to his bed, not before making sure that she'd be out of reach in case Shizuo dared to try to grab her. "You look like crap."

"You look as beautiful as ever," said Shizuo with a hint of sadness in his voice, his eyes unable to meet those of the woman he hurt in the worst possible way.

"I don't want to hear that from you!" said Izaya in a harsh tone. "I'll never forgive you!"

Shizuo picked up the spoon from where it fell on the bed and placed it next to the bowl of soup. "I don't expect you to. What I did to you is unforgivable."

Izaya narrowed her eyes, completely annoyed by his attitude. "At least you know that."

"I've regretted it every single day since it happened," said Shizuo and turned his head towards her, yet still not looking into her eyes. "I know that it was you who got me out of prison, so thank you fle _―_  I mean Izaya; sorry about that, thank you Izaya."

"Don't thank me, I'll make you regret it soon enough."

"That's fine, I deserve it anyway."

"Tch! Why are you so... so..."

"Calm?" said Shizuo bitterly. "Don't worry, I'm not doing it on purpose, I'm simply tired. I know you were expecting to see the rage monster from that time, but I hope I'll never end up showing you that side of me again. Of all the people in the world, you're the only one I never want to hurt again."

"Whatever," snorted Izaya. "I'm only here to tell you that if you ever go anywhere near me again, Celty will have your head."

"I understand, that's a wise choice, to get Celty to protect you. You really are smart."

"And I'm also here to warn you that I will take my revenge on you."

"You don't need to warn me, just do whatever you wanna do."

"I didn't want you to believe that I got you out because I care or something like that," said Izaya through gritted teeth.

"That never crossed my mind," said Shizuo and lowered his head again. "Take your revenge whenever you want."

Izaya got up and left the room, realizing what a bad idea it had been to talk to the stupid protozoan, but not before vowing to make Shizuo's life a living hell.


	13. So It Begins

Izaya angrily typed on her computer in hope of finding out information on this new gang that Shiki mentioned. She needed a distraction, anything to keep her mind busy and her thoughts far away from the annoying brute that never seemed to act the way she expected of him. _What was with that meek attitude of his?_ It was like someone took his protozoan brain out and replaced it with something that was the exact opposite of the original. Then again, that was the exact reason why she couldn't stand him in the first place, because he was an unpredictable monster that needed to be wiped out from existence. Doing such a thing however would not be satisfying enough, so she would first have to come up with a few ideas that would completely destroy the beast before finally putting it out of its misery. A thick folder was dropped on her desk and she winced at the loud noise the thing made when it hit the surface.

"Here are a few possible cases you might want to take, and also some of the old ones where the clients insist that only you can help them out," said Namie and went back to her desk.

"I told you to look up information on this new gang, but what do you do instead? You bother me with random cases I have no interest in," said Izaya and pushed the folder away until it was sitting in the corner of her desk.

"Some of those cases you agreed to take on before, and now you expect the clients to simply accept your refusal after they went through the trouble of convincing you in the first place?" snapped Namie. "I'm the one taking the blunt hits from all of this because I'm the one who has to explain to them how Orihara Izaya went through some traumatic experience and now she refuses to take on new cases."

"I'm getting tired of your attitude. If you dare spew any of that garbage to others I'll make sure that little brother of yours never finds your lifeless body," snarled Izaya and pushed the folder off her desk. "I don't pay you to think, just do your job and shut up. I have the right to refuse any case I want and since the old ones don't interest me anymore, don't ever mention them to me again."

"Tch!"

Izaya could tell that Namie was absolutely livid, and at that moment she realized that it had probably not been such a good idea to call her back to work so soon. Izaya herself was not ready to deal with all the crap that came with being an Informant. Even though she enjoyed what she did most of the time, she succeeded in making enough enemies to drive a normal person insane. Many humans harbored hate towards her, so any of them could try to take some sort of revenge on her. It wasn't that she was exactly scared, but after what happened with Shizuo she was done underestimating those around her. At least Namie was quiet again and she could focus on her search. "Oh!" she exclaimed out loud the next second, taking Namie by surprise.

"What?" asked Namie in an annoyed tone.

"There are two groups, not one," she answered and went back to what she was doing, completely ignoring Namie, who even though was quite the dangerous woman herself, was no threat to Izaya due to the deal she had with Yagiri Pharmaceutics. "I'll be back in a couple of hours," said Izaya who got up and went to the guest room to pick up Celty. "Let's go, she told the headless rider and both of them left the apartment."

[ Where are we going? ]

"We're going to Awakusu territory. I need to have a chat with Shiki," said Izaya and got on the bike.

[ Are you sure that's a good idea? Last I know he was trying his best to find your weakness. ]

"It's fine."

Celty knew exactly where to find Shiki, so once they stopped in front of the apartment building where many of the Awakusu-kai could be found, including Shiki himself, she led Izaya up the stairs, not without being surprised at how easily Shiki's henchmen allowed them free passage.

"I see you both came to pay me a visit. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Shiki asked, motioning for both women to sit down.

"There are two gangs, not one as you led me to believe," said Izaya with a smirk on her face.

"Don't be upset, Orihara-san, I had faith in your information gathering skills. Now, shall we get down to business?" asked Shiki with a smirk of his own as he sat on the office chair behind his desk.

"Why the game though?" asked Izaya, still not wanting to let it go before Shiki revealed the answer to her question.

The man sighed, as though the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "You've taken a long vacation Orihara-san, so I wanted to make sure that your skills weren't rusty."

Izaya frowned. "Now you're insulting me."

"Did you at least find out the names of the two groups?"

"That's a silly question Shiki-san, considering how one of the groups doesn't go by any name."

"Bravo!" exclaimed Shiki, the sound of applauds resonating throughout the small office. "Your skills are as good as ever. Now, before we continue, are you sure you don't mind our courier here hearing our conversation?" asked Shiki with a smirk on his face as his eyes fell upon Celty's form.

"You may speak," was Izaya's quick answer.

Shiki's smirk only grew wider. "Some interesting things must've happened since the last time I met the both of you. I find it quite fascinating," mused the man.

[ Enough Shiki-san! ] said Celty who got up from the couch and approached the desk to show him her message.

"Ah, you're right, my apologies. It's none of my business after all." His eyes went back to Izaya. "Now that you know of which groups I'm talking about we can scratch the named one off the list and you can go and find out for me who is behind the unnamed group."  
  
"You mean the one behind the distribution of 'Heaven's Slave'."

"Exactly. Not only did they dare trespass on our territory but they also succeeded in getting some of my men addicted to the drug."

"Idiots," was all that Izaya said, but she knew it had been a mistake the moment Shiki's eyes glared icy daggers at her.

"Just do your job," said Shiki and motioned for the two of them to leave.

Izaya gave him a mock-bow. "As you wish," she said and smirked when she could almost see the contour of one of the veins on his forehead pop out from under the skin.

[ Are you sure it's wise to anger him? ] asked Celty the moment they were out of the building and away from Shiki's men.

"I'm not scared of him," was all that Izaya said as she got on the bike, and judging by the malicious glow in the woman's eyes, Celty could tell that something was not right. A million thoughts went through Izaya's mind, and none of them were anything good when it came to everyone else besides Izaya herself. 

Izaya kept quiet the entire day, and the next few days too, and all that Celty could do was watch as the woman typed on her laptop or left the room when it was time for Izaya to answer the calls that she kept getting on her too many phones. It disturbed her to see her that way because she was starting to get used to the new Izaya, and, unfortunately, it looked like the old version of the Informant was starting to come back to life. Celty never liked the old Izaya, because the old Izaya was a malicious creature who stepped on anyone that had the misfortune of ending up in her path.

Izaya didn't pay any attention to Celty because her heart was soaring at the prospect of what was about to come. She was done with letting people treat her as a fool. The days of the weak, scared and traumatized Izaya were over, and she would take her sweet time to enact revenge on all those who had dared to cross her when she was at her lowest. She would start with Shizuo, because he was the cause of all her misfortune. It hadn't been easy to obtain the information that was now staring back at her from the screen of her laptop, but she knew with certainty that the price she had to pay was nothing compared to the satisfaction she would get once she put that information to good use. "Hey Celty," she said as she closed the lid on her laptop, "do you want to go get some fatty tuna?" Celty shrugged and that was enough indication for Izaya to get up and grab her coat. "I'm sure you would agree with me that fatty tuna is the tastiest thing in the whole world if you weren't headless."

[ It'll be the first thing I try once I get my head! ] Celty said playfully, but she couldn't relax one bit with Izaya being so Izaya-like.

"You'd better remember this Celty, it's a promise!"

The malicious glee didn't leave Izaya's eyes, and Celty couldn't stop worrying that something really bad was about to happen.

 

* * *

 

"What is it?" Kasuka asked when he noticed the apathetic look on his brother's face as he chew on the steak that he bought for him to eat in order to recover his strength faster.

"Nothing," the older brother answered, but Kasuka could tell that it was something.

"Please tell me what's bothering you."

"Fine! I'm just... you know, I feel bad," said Shizuo and chewed loudly on the piece of steak.

"About what?"

Shizuo sighed. "Tom-san probably wonders what happened to me. He probably hates me for abandoning my job like that."

"Ah, your boss? Don't worry about it, I spoke to him soon after you were taken to prison."

"What?" said Shizuo, his eyes wide in surprise.

"I also paid the rent to your apartment so that you wouldn't lose it."

"Kasuka... I don't even... I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. It's the least I can do for you after failing to protect you when you most needed me."

"Even though I didn't want you to see me like that I was happy whenever you came to visit," said Shizuo and Kasuka couldn't have been happier to hear those words coming from his brother's mouth.

That day he went back to Shizuo's apartment and brought back a few articles of clothing as well as the man's phone in case Shizuo needed it to talk to his boss. Kasuka couldn't be sure what Shizuo wanted to do, but his brother needed a change of clothes and the stuff that Kasuka had were a bit too small for him.

 

* * *

 

The more time passed, the better Shizuo felt, and soon enough he had no trouble in moving around the apartment. It felt strange to be able to move around so freely after being caged for so long, but this sense of freedom was making his heart lighter. It really was good to be back, even though he knew that only pain awaited him. Of course Izaya would seek revenge, there was no way the woman would simply let it go. He had a lot of time to reflect on his past actions while he was in prison, and what occupied his mind most of the time were thoughts of Izaya. Sometimes he would even feel physically ill when remembering the things he ended up doing to her that day, but his little trip on memory lane was abruptly interrupted when the phone in his pocket rang out of nowhere. He almost dropped it when he saw the number on the screen, instantly recognizing it, and even though he dreaded the conversation that was about to happen, he answered it anyway. "Iza _―_ ya?"

_"Ne, Shizu-chan, do you think we can meet up today?"_

"What?" asked Shizuo, dumbfounded. Was the woman crazy enough to actually dare meet up with him just like that?

 _"We need to talk,"_ Izaya continued, her voice as cheerful and annoying as it used to be before he dragged her to that warehouse and broke her in more ways than one.

"You... are you sure about this?" Shizuo asked softly, as though he was afraid that his voice alone might scare her away.

 _"Yes I'm sure. Can you be there in exactly two hours?"_ asked Izaya who was obviously starting to become impatient.

"I'll be there," said Shizuo and wrote down the address once Izaya told him where to meet up.

He put the phone back into his pocket, and the thought that it was a trap hit him with a force that almost left him breathless. _Of course it;s a trap; why would Izaya ever want to meet up with me and talk?_ They never talked in the past, so why would they start now?

"Nii-san, what's wrong?" asked Kasuka who just arrived home from shopping.

Shizuo didn't even notice his presence until his he spoke up. "Nothing!" he was quick to answer, his face set into a nervous smile. "Did you buy milk?" he asked, hoping that Kasuka would stop questioning him.

He handed Shizuo a carton of milk. "Here."

Shizuo took it from Kasuka's hand and went into the living room where he sat on the couch and turned on the TV, trying his hardest to look relaxed even though a storm was ravaging both his mind and soul. Would Izaya shoot him as soon as he took a step inside that place, or would she talk to him first? She would surely bring a gun, because she had to know that those little knives of hers had never really been a deterrent into keeping him away. What had actually stopped Shizuo from crushing her to fine dust had been none other than Shizuo himself, and now they both knew how bad things went when Shizuo lost what little control he had over his rage.

Kasuka couldn't help but feel worried about his brother who did nothing but stare blankly at the TV for over an hour. Sure, it looked like he was watching the movie, but Kasuka knew better. Then just like that Shizuo sprang to his feet and turned toward Kasuka with a haunted look in his eyes.

"I have to go."

"Nii-san...?"

"I'll be right back," said Shizuo and tried to move past Kasuka only to get his arm grabbed in a vice-like grip.

"I won't let you go until you tell me where you're going."

"I'm only going to get some fresh air."

"Don't lie to me!" snapped Kasuka. "You can't leave!"

"I'm not lying. If you want we can go together," he said calmly with a smile on his face.

Kasuka breathed in relief. "Ok, let's go together. Wait here until I change," he said and rushed to his bedroom.

Shizuo had no intention of taking his brother to where he was going, and even though he hated lying to Kasuka he knew that it was necessary if he wanted to be able to get to the meeting place in time. Shizuo completely ignored the bad feeling settled in his gut and didn't stop until he was in front of the building where he was supposed to meet up with Izaya. He checked the clock, and even though he was ten minutes earlier he forced his legs to move and go up the stairs. Was Izaya going to kill him or just hurt him? Would he be able to control himself and not break her neck if she really did try to kill him, or would he simply destroy Izaya once and for all? Too many questions and no answer, at least not until he actually got there and confronted the woman.

He growled in annoyance when a bunch of people ran down the stairs, one of them bumping into him, but he paid no attention to them because the only one occupying his mind was none other than Izaya; sweet, yet extremely vicious, Orihara Izaya. No matter how hard she tried to look strong he knew better now. He could still clearly remember her heart-wrenching sobs and that trembling voice as she denied the accusations about her being a loose whore. And then, because of him, because he had been the one to injure her so much, she ended up as a victim once again when he made the stupid mistake of not stopping her as she left Shinra's apartment that night. He could still remember her desperate scream for help and the sight of her pinned against that dirty wall surrounded by a bunch of sleazy animals. His hand tightened on the rail and he had to take a deep breath to chase away the image that almost made him commit murder. Actually it was a miracle that none of them died considering that Shizuo didn't hold back at all that night. He would've probably killed them all if any of them would've actually gotten as far as to stick their disgusting dicks into her, but since he arrived there before anything like that happened there was no need to waste more time on them when he had an injured Izaya to take care of.

He shook his head to chase away the memory and he kept going up the stairs until he reached the fifth floor. Once there he stopped dead in his tracks, the sight of the many corpses spread all over the floor making the blood freeze in his veins. He could hear the sounds of voices and footsteps coming up the stairs and he had a feeling that he was screwed. The pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together quite fast, and Shizuo knew for sure that his suspicions had been right when the men finally arrived there and started pointing fingers at him and accusing him of murdering their comrades. What could he say to that? That he didn't do it? That it was all a set-up? They wouldn't believe him no matter what and he almost laughed then at the ingenuity of Izaya's trap. She was not a woman one would ever want to mess with. It was ridiculous how scared they were of him when Shizuo was still too weak to properly defend himself. His phone rang out of nowhere and he almost laughed at how the noise startled those cowards who hid behind knives and bats. They kept threatening to kill him, but none of them dared to take a step forward. Shizuo took the phone out of his pocket and put it against his ear.

_"I'm sure you've seen my present by now, Shizu-chan."_

"Yeah," was the only thing Shizuo could say.

 _"I hope you like it~"_ continued Izaya in a sing-song voice, and Shizuo had to fight the urge to crush the phone to smithereens.

He took a deep breath in order to calm down because it wouldn't do any good to show Izaya just how affected he really was. When he was sure that his voice wouldn't falter he spoke again. "I would've preferred to see you instead," he nearly purred the words into the phone. He figured that he took Izaya by surprise, because he could almost hear her teeth grinding against each other over the phone, and he smiled a little triumphant smile despite the dangerous situation he was in.

 _"Perhaps you were hoping to **rape**  me again and leave me a bloody mess on the ground, just like you did the **first time**?"_ asked Izaya in a venomous tone.

The accusation in her voice made him cringe, and it was getting harder and harder to stay calm when those men kept waving around their knives, swords and baseball bats. Then one of them attacked when he couldn't stand the tension anymore and Shizuo barely had time to dodge the incoming hit.

"Die fucker!" the man screamed.

"Just because you are Heiwajima Shizuo it doesn't mean that you can do whatever the fuck you want!" said another one.

Then more men joined in, and the words that seemed to be on everyone's lips were, "Let's bring this bastard's head to Dougen-sama!"

 _"I'm guessing that you're busy, so I'll leave you to it,"_ chuckled Izaya into the phone before she ended the call.

Shizuo immediately put the phone back into his pocket and retreated further into the building because the stairs were packed with people armed to their teeth. It looked as though he was running, but he didn't care because he wasn't in a mood to die by their hands, nor did he want to end up killing someone by accident. "Would you guys let me go if I said that I'm not the one who killed them?" said Shizuo once he ended up in a corner surrounded by a mass of angry thugs. He heard laughter erupt from the crowd and then suddenly they were silent again, their eyes filled with murderous intent.

"Heiwajima-san," said one of the men in the back, the sea of people immediately parting to make room for him. "I had a feeling that one day you'd make problems for me again."

"Do I know you?" asked Shizuo and lit up a cigarette, the need to fill his lungs with smoke burning him from the inside.

"Perhaps."

Shizuo looked the man up and down to asses the danger level, and even though the man was taller than he was, Shizuo had no doubt that he could easily take him down. Even if the man knew him, Shizuo had no idea who he was. He sighed, really not in the mood to fight. "I really didn't kill those guys, you know?"

"You don't expect me to believe that, right Heiwajima-san? Or should I say Shizuo-kun?"  
  
Shizuo narrowed his eyes at the man. He was done asking nicely. "Listen here, you dipshit," said Shizuo as he snapped the cigarette in two, "I didn't kill any of those people, but I might really end up committing murder if you morons don't fuck off right now." He could see his words pissed off the man, but he was way past caring.

"I should've killed you after that incident at the bakery when you were still a child."

Shizuo's eyes widened in surprise, a vague memory of this man slowly coming back to him. "You're the bastard who sent those guys to get money from that woman," he said through clenched teeth.

"Indeed I am. Name's Aozaki," the man said and grabbed a katana from one of the men anxiously waiting for the slaughter to begin. "I only spared your life back then because you were a child, but now, Shizuo-kun, now I can kill you."

Shizuo barely had time to duck the slash that would've otherwise taken his head, and threw himself into Aozaki's chest hard enough to make the man lose his balance. As much as he wanted to crush the whole lot of them to dust he wasn't foolish enough to believe that he could go against Aozaki in his state and win. Even he had heard of Aozaki, and the Blue Demon wasn't someone he could take lightly. He grabbed one man by the neck and seized the bat in his hand, immediately blocking an incoming hit.

It didn't take long for Aozaki to recover, and Shizuo almost lost his left arm when Aozaki slashed at him from the side, forcing him to back up into the mass of Awakusu underlings where one of them successfully embedded a switchblade into his lower back. Shizuo hissed in pain but kept fighting, knowing that he had no choice if he wanted to live.


	14. Going Too Far

Shizuo cursed under his breath as the Awakusu relentlessly attacked him. Under normal circumstances he would've been done with them within minutes, but as things were he lacked the necessary strength to wipe the floor with them. He staggered when one of the men hit him in the head with a metal pipe and he ended up leaning on a window's frame just to keep standing. It was ridiculous how he ended up falling for Izaya's trap, again, but he never imagined that she'd try to pin another crime on him. Not that he didn't believe Izaya capable of doing such a thing, but he assumed that she'd try to come up with something more original, yet there he was, surrounded by way too many people who wanted his head and he couldn't remember ever feeling so trapped in his entire life, not even when he was in prison.

"You're acting strange," mused Aozaki as he slowly approached him, the sword making a grating sound as he dragged it across the floor. He stopped two feet from him and tightened the hold he had on the sword's handle. "I'll admit that I'm a bit disappointed. I was expecting more of a fight considering your legendary strength. Then again, you do look a little too... how should I say... unusually weak?"

Shizuo laughed at the remark but immediately grit his teeth when pain flared in his back from the stab wound. "It's not like you're going to listen to anything I say, so I won't even bother," said Shizuo in a tired voice. He was tired, and hurt, and all he wanted to do was to curl up in Kasuka's bed and sleep for a week. He was too tired to even get angry, and that said a lot.

Aozaki smirked as he raised the sword. "You're right, no one here cares about what you have to say," and with those words he slashed at Shizuo, never expecting the man to jump out the window in order to avoid getting cut. A few seconds later he heard the loud noise of something hitting metal and an alarm going off, so he rushed to the window. He saw Shizuo sprawled on top of one of the vans they came in and he almost wished he had gotten the chance to kill Heiwajima Shizuo himself, but then Ikebukuro's beast moved, and a sadistic grin spread across Aozaki's face. "Follow me!" he ordered the men who were still rather socked at seeing Shizuo alive after such a fall, but they ran down the stairs after Aozaki once they woke up from their stupor.

Shizuo couldn't remember ever being in so much pain, and for a few terrifying moments he couldn't even breath, let alone move. It took him a few desperate tries until he succeeded, and even though every cell in his body was screaming in agony he knew that he had to get up and run. He only had minutes, no seconds, before the Awakusu gang would be upon him, and after such a fall there was no way that he could ever hope to keep his life if they got their hands on him. It had to be the instinct to survive kicking in, otherwise he couldn't imagine anyone trying so desperately to move when so many bones were broken. His left shoulder was shattered and the ribs poking at his lung were definitely not something to take lightly, but at least his legs were still intact. That had to count for something. He tried to chase away the darkness starting to form at the edges of his vision and he succeeded in getting up, immediately dragging his broken body away from the building, through the narrow streets, changing direction every so often so that he would lose them before allowing himself the privilege of passing out. He didn't exactly mean to jump, but when he saw that sword and tried to avoid getting cut by it he lost balance. He could've stopped himself from falling, but his body crashing on top of that van seemed like a better idea than to meet that sword head on. Japanese swords were no joke, and the ones those Awakusu underlings owned seemed to be some of the best he'd seen in a long time. After that, the choice seemed rather simple once he figured that it was either a plunge from the fifth floor or getting chopped to pieces by Aozaki. He didn't hesitate in letting go. As he was contemplating his choice he heard tires screeching behind him, the noise resonating throughout his head as a warning of his impending death. Then the ground underneath his feet suddenly started to shift and before he had a chance to react he was grabbed from behind and pulled into a van. He instinctively fought against his attackers for a while until a familiar voice got through the fog in his mind.

"Calm down!"

"Dota-chin?"

"YES! Now stop moving before you end up killing one of us!" barked Kadota in an annoyed tone.

Shizuo froze and tried to focus on seeing who else was there in the van with them. "Ah, it's you guys," he said when he saw the van gang.

"The one and only!" Erika chirped.

"Oi, what the hell happened back there?" asked Kadota when he noticed the blood that was pooling under Shizuo.

"I got set up," Shizuo said weakly, his body starting go into shock from the blood loss.

Walker moved closer and stared at Shizuo for a while. "He needs a doctor or he's going to die soon. Saburo, step on it!"

"Don't take me to a hospital!" growled Shizuo.

"You wanna die?" snapped Kadota.

"That's where they're going to look first," said Saburo.

"Tch! Fine! Saburo, take us to Kishitani Shinra," said Kadota and moved closer to see if he could stop the bleeding somehow. "Where did you get stabbed?"

"L-lower back," answered Shizuo weakly.

Kadota was about to grab his arm to move him in order to check the wound when Walker stopped him. "Don't, it's best not to move him."

"He'll bleed out!" said Kadota in an exasperated voice.

Walker took off his jacket and shirt, then rolled the shirt and pushed it under Shizuo's body where he assumed the cut was located.

"T-thanks," were the last words Shizuo managed to say before passing out.

"IS HE DEAD?" Erika screeched.

Kadota checked his pulse. "No, but he won't last much longer. Hurry up Saburo!"

"Hey, I'm doing my best here!"

Kadota looked at Shizuo's pale and bruised body and wondered what exactly happened back there. What would have happened if they hadn't showed up there by accident? "He said that someone set him up."

"Izaya most likely," said Walker as he put the jacket on Shizuo's body to keep him warm.

Kadota sighed. "Of course, who else could it be?"

They spent the rest of the way in silence until they got to Shinra's apartment and they rushed to the elevator with the unconscious Shizuo.

"I thought you said it was best not to move him!" snapped Kadota as he carried Shizuo to Shinra's door, droplets of blood dripping behind them and on them.

"There's no more time, he needs to get treated now," said Walker as he rang the doorbell to the doctor's apartment.

Shinra opened the door and gasped in shock when he saw Shizuo, immediately losing the grip he had on the pencil he was holding. "What happened?!"

Walker pushed him out of the way and carried Shizuo inside, knowing that it was only a matter of minutes before Ikebukuro's beast would give his last breath if they didn't do something.

Shinra switched his doctor mode on and followed behind them. "Take him there," he said while pointing at the door to his lab.

Kadota pushed it open with his leg and both he and Walker placed Shizuo on the bed. He didn't miss the look of panic on Shinra's face when the doctor checked the injury, and he couldn't help but ask what was wrong.

"I... I don't have enough type O blood!" said Shinra, his voice trembling.

Kadota couldn't remember ever seeing Kishitani Shinra panic before. "I'll find some, just patch him up!" said Kadota and ran out of the apartment while dragging Walker after him.

"Are you crazy? Where are we going to get type O blood from?"

"I'll think of something."

As soon as they reached the van they jumped in and Saburo drove away, the loud screeching of the tires grating on Kadota's already fried nerves.

"What happened?" asked Erika.

Walker ran a bloody hand through his hair and sighed. "The doc doesn't have enough blood for the transfusion."

"Saburo, you know where to go, right?" asked Kadota.

He could see that Walker and Erika were skeptic about it, but what did they know? Kadota certainly knew a lot more about Ikebukuro than the two otakus.

"I hope you know what you're doing," said the male half of the otaku couple.

Kadota snorted, as though he was offended by Walker's remark. "Shinra isn't the only underground doctor in Ikebukuro."

"Hey!" Erika whined, "how come I don't know the other underground doctor in Ikebukuro?"

"Because you don't need to know," was Kadota's simple answer.

Erika pouted but didn't say anything else.

 

* * *

 

Shinra nervously stared at Shizuo's unconscious form. There was only so much he could do in such a short period of time, and the lack of blood was worrying him to death. The amount he had was barely enough to keep Shizuo alive and he didn't know how to get more before it was too late. The only other person with O type was Izaya and that was the last person in the world that Shinra would ask because she would not only refuse but would most likely go after Shizuo's life too. Yes, Shizuo had been an idiot, but Shinra didn't want him to die. He ran a hand through his hair and sat on a chair next to Shizuo. If Kadota couldn't get the blood then Shizuo was screwed. Shinra was certainly curious how someone who was supposed to be resting at home ended up with so many broken bones and a stab wound on top of that.

"O!" exclaimed Shinra and ran for the phone. "Dota-chin, bring Kasuka here!"

_"Ah, good idea! That's better than risking getting infected blood from the streets. How's Shizuo?"_

"Not good, but you might just make it back in time."

_"I'll see you when I get back."_

"All right," said Shinra who ended the call, taking a small break before calling Kasuka. He typed in the number and the phone rang only once before there was a voice on the other side of the it. "I'm sending Dota-chin to bring you to my place."

_"What happened? Does this have anything to do with Shizuo?"_

"He needs a lot of blood. Why didn't you watch him?!"

_"He tricked me! He sneaked out when I was changing!"_

"Tch! That bastard. Anyway, get ready, they'll be there soon," said Shinra and walked back to where Shizuo was lying unconscious.

_"I'm already dressed. Like I said, he tricked me into thinking we were going out together. What exactly happened?"_

"I don't know but many of his bones got broken and he's been stabbed," said Shinra in a worried voice.

_"It's all my fault... I shouldn't have let him out of my sight!"_

Shinra sighed. "He's an adult, you can't watch his every move."

_"I think they're here, see you soon," said Kasuka and rushed to the door._

As soon as he opened the door Kadota grabbed him by the arm and nearly dragged him to the van.

"Whoa, Yuhei Hanejima is in our van!" said Erika.

Kadota gave her a glare and she immediately shut up.

"Does any of you know what happened to my brother?"

"I was driving around when I spotted Shizuo and noticed that he was injured," said Saburo. "There were a lot of people after him, and when we asked him what happened he only said that he got set up."

There wasn't any need to say more, because Kasuka knew that Shizuo probably fell into one of Izaya's traps. That woman was too dangerous.

They spent the rest of the way in silence, and as soon as they stopped in front of Shinra's apartment building they jumped out of the van and rushed to the man's house, Saburo, Erika and Walker following suit.

"Hurry up!" said Shinra and motioned to Kasuka to follow him, Kadota and the gang remaining in the living room.

Once they were inside the lab he grabbed Kasuka's arm and started collecting the much needed blood. It was ridiculous how it didn't cross his mind from the beginning to get Kasuka. Had he been so disturbed at the sight of Shizuo's broken body that he lost himself? It was a worrisome thought.

"It was Izaya," said Kasuka, some venom seeping into his voice.

"I figured as much," Shinra said quietly and went to check on Shizuo.

"I'll have to step in if she keeps doing this."

Shinra spared Kasuka a surprised look before he went back to work on his patient. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll figure something out."

Shinra didn't say anything. It was already bad enough to see Shizuo and Izaya at each other's throats so soon after Shizuo got out of prison. He absolutely hated being in the middle of it all and he wished more than anything that the hostilities stopped before one of them ended up dead.

Shizuo stirred and opened his eyes, taking both Shinra and Kasuka by surprise.

"Shizuo!"

"Nii-san!"

Shizuo seemed to look around the place, then his eyes went to Shinra and he spoke in a very weak voice. "I h-have to g-go."

"You're not going anywhere!" said Shinra.

"Nii-san, you're safe here!"

"Awa _―_ "

What?" asked both Shinra and Kasuka.

"Awa-ku-su," said Shizuo with a lot of effort.

Shinra froze. "He can't stay here."

"What do you mean he can't stay here?" Kasuka nearly shouted.

"That's exactly what I mean!" said Shinra and started gathering supplies. "Here, take this, oh and this."

"What is going on??"

"There's no time! The Awakusu-kai will surely come here; they know I'm friends with Shizuo. DOTA-CHIN!!" yelled Shinra loudly enough for Kadota to hear him.

The man came running. "What?"

"Help me get Shizuo out of here!"

"What? Why?" asked Kadota and immediately proceeded to get Shizuo on his feet with Kasuka's help.

"It's the Awakusu!"

That was all Kadota needed the know. Without delay they dragged Shizuo into the living room where Saburo took Kasuka's place in carrying Shizuo out. "To the van, fast," he said and everyone followed him outside.

They shoved Shizuo in the back and Kasuka got in with them.

"I'll go clean up so they won't find any traces of Shizuo ever being here when they come," said Shinra and hurried up the stairs.

"Where to?" asked Saburo once they closed the door.

"We can go to my place," offered Erika.

"NO!" Walked protested. "No way."

"Well, we can't go to mine nor Kasuka's place, so it's either you Saburo or Walker," said Kadota and turned his attention back to Shizuo who slipped into unconsciousness once again.

"My place then," said Saburo and stepped on the pedal.

"What's Awakusu?" asked Kasuka.

"Really dangerous people," said Kadota through clenched teeth. "If they're the ones who did this to him then he won't be able to keep his life once they find him. Usually they wouldn't be such a problem to him unless they pulled a gun on him, but right now he's been gravely injured and he can't defend himself."

"Any idea why they're after him?"

"No clue, but I'll try to find out as soon as we get Shizuo to Saburo's place. Shinra will come by later too. What about you? What are you going to do?"

Kasuka raised his head and looked into Saburo's direction. "I'd like to stay with my brother, if that's possible."

"Sure, no problem," said Saburo. "My place is really small though, so it won't be easy with the three of us there. It might be really hard on you since you're probably used to luxury."

"That is not important," said Kasuka. "I'll go wherever Shizuo goes."

Saburo shrugged. "That's fine by me."

"Will Shizuo... will he be alright?" asked Kasuka.

Dota-chin smirked. "Sure, he's strong. You know that better than anyone."  
  
Kasuka nodded but he wasn't as sure as Kadota was.

Once they got to Saburo's place they carried Shizuo inside. Erika and Walker left home after a while, but Kadota wanted to talk about something with Kasuka so he stayed behind a bit longer.

"Hey, what happened to Shizuo? He just went missing one day."

Kasuka wasn't sure if it was ok to tell Kadota anything, but after the man had saved his brother's life he at least deserved to know the truth. "He was in prison," he said after a few minutes of silence.

"Oh... that makes sense. What for?"

"He beat up some guys, and it seems that one of them knew some people in high places, or something like that. I'm not sure myself, since it was Izaya who helped us get him out."

"WHAT?! FOR REAL?" screeched Kadota, then clamped a hand over his mouth when he realized his mistake. "No way, why would she do that?"

"All that matters is that he's out now," said Kasuka.

"Yeah but I'm pretty sure it was Izaya who set him up."

Kasuka nodded.

"Then why would she get him out to begin with?"

"Probably because she wanted to destroy him personally," said Kasuka, hoping that Kadota would stop with the questions.

"Makes sense... anyway, I have to go home. Let me know if you guys need anything."

"Will do," said Saburo who appeared in the room. "I'll take care of both of them, don't worry about it."

"I'm not worried, I trust you," said Kadota.

Saburo gave Kadota a grin, then watched as the man left his apartment.

Saburo turned to Kasuka. "So... is there anything you'd like to eat?"

"No thanks, I'm fine. I'll go check on my brother now."

Saburo shrugged and left Kasuka alone while he went to grab something to eat.

Kasuka sat down on the bed next to Shizuo who was so pale and looked so weak that Kasuka had doubts that his brother would be fine. He had no choice but to believe that Shizuo would pull through.

 

* * *

 

Shinra showed up at Saburo's place that night, frantic about how the Awakusu came to see him just as he had predicted, but glad that they couldn't find any trace of Shizuo and as such he was left alone. "Has he woken up ever since?" he asked Kasuka as soon as he entered the room.

"A couple of time, but he seemed delirious. He kept trying to warn me about the Awakusu-Kai."

"Izaya really got him this time. The Awakusu-kai won't stop until they find him," said Shinra as he checked Shizuo's stab wound.

"I hope the wound won't get infected," said Kasuka and winced when Shinra pulled away the bandages to check on it.

"I think he'll be fine, I'm an excellent doctor after all. Besides, it's not like it's the first time he got stabbed. At least he didn't get shot," said Shinra while laughing nervously.

"I have to go," Kasuka said out of nowhere.

"Where to?" asked a puzzled Shinra, but Kasuka didn't even spare him a backwards glance as he walked out of the apartment.

As soon as Kasuka got to his intended target he got out of the taxi, took the elevator, then knocked on the door a few times before it finally opened.

"Do you know what time it is?" snapped Izaya, but before she had a chance to complain some more she was grabbed by the neck and pinned to the wall. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Orihara-san," said Kasuka, that blank look on his face almost giving her chills, "I do not approve of you trying to actively kill my brother."

Izaya realized in hindsight that she should've expected Kasuka to not be too happy about what she did to Shizuo, but people don't always think clearly when they are woken up in the middle of the night. "How dare you?" she nearly growled.

"While I do agree that my brother has done a terrible thing to you and that he deserves to pay in some way, I will not tolerate any more attempts at his life."

Izaya started struggling but Kasuka was stronger than her and as such she couldn't push him away. "Let me go!"

"Not until you promise that you will stop going after my brother's life," said Kasuka and pushed her harder into the wall.

Izaya chuckled. "What if I say no, what then?"

Kasuka didn't answer, so Izaya continued. "You'll kill me if I refuse, or better yet, are you going to rape me too, just like your brother did, and then kill me?"

Kasuka winced at her words but still didn't let go. "I don't like violence."

"That's rich coming from someone who's pinning another person to a wall," Izaya said mockingly.

"I do not know how to deal with you Orihara-san, you are a dangerous woman after all. I guess that sometimes one must turn into a monster in order to bring down another monster."

"It seems like you're finally learning," said Izaya with a smirk on her face even though on the inside she was anything but confident. A part of her believed that Kasuka would never do anything to hurt her, but there was that other part which didn't agree, the terrified part of her that she was trying really hard to suppress. What worried her the most was that Celty wasn't there with her, which meant that she must've slipped out of the apartment sometimes during the night.

"Find another way to get your revenge. You've been warned," said Kasuka and stormed out of the apartment.

Kasuka couldn't stand doing the violence himself, so by the time he got outside he was slightly shaking. He couldn't believe that he would go so far as to threaten Izaya, but if anything it was further proof of how much he cared about his brother. No matter what kind of sinner Shizuo was, Kasuka would always be there to protect him because it was Kasuka's turn to take care of his older brother even if that meant doing things of which he wouldn't be proud. When he got back to Saburo's apartment he was surprised to see not only Shinra but Celty as well.

"Hello Celty-san."

[ Hello. ]

"Where have you been?" asked Shinra.

"Nowhere in particular, I just needed some fresh air."

Shinra looked at him like he didn't believe a word he was saying but didn't press the matter any further.

"You're both staying here over night?" asked Kasuka as he sat down on the bed next to Shizuo.

[ No, I only came to see how Shizuo was doing. ]

Kasuka kept quiet after that, still slightly shaken after what he ended up doing.


	15. The Shortest Straw

When Celty went back to Izaya's apartment in the middle of the night, she found the woman on the couch waiting for her.

"How's Shizuo?" Izaya asked, curious about how injured the beast had to be to make Kasuka mad enough to show up at her door and threaten her.

Celty approached her hesitantly. [ I'm sorry I left without telling you. ]

"Did you know that Kasuka showed up while you were away and attacked me?"

Celty almost dropped her PDA.

[ WHAT?! ]

"You heard me. He pinned me to the wall and threatened to do something about it if I don't stop going after Shizuo's life."

[ I can't believe he'd do that. ]

"He did, but it doesn't matter. I don't think he'd have the courage to actually do something about it even if I were to kill Shizuo with my own two hands," she said and laughed maliciously.

[ I shouldn't have left without telling you. ]

Izaya waved a hand dismissively. "Forget about that. Tell me how Shizuo is doing."

[ He's been stabbed... and many of his bones are broken. ]

"I knew he'd get out of it alive. He's really strong," said Izaya with a sadistic smirk on her face. "Now I have to come up with a new way to hurt him some more. This is really fun."

Celty tensed; she was really starting to hate this whole thing between Shizuo and Izaya. Yes, Shizuo had been an asshole but Izaya was somewhat of a bitch too. Both of them were crazy and they were driving her insane. Humans were truly scary.

"You know, I've been thinking, perhaps you should take a day off tomorrow," said Izaya with an innocent smile on her face.

[ What? Why? ]

"I bet you miss Shinra. Go spend the day with him and Shizuo if you want, I don't mind."

[ Really? ]

"Really. Actually, you can leave now, I bet that Shinra will be happy to see you."

Celty was unsure of what to say.

"No one will follow you to find Shizuo's hideout, so relax. The game would be too boring if I were to kill him when he couldn't even defend himself," said Izaya, the sadistic smirk back on her lips.

[ Ok, thanks, I'll be back the day after tomorrow. ]

Izaya watched her leave and immediately pulled out the phone from her pocket. "Let's make the trade tomorrow," was all she said before ending the call and putting the phone back into her pocket.

She was actually really pissed off at Celty, but she couldn't afford to show it because she needed the Dullahan away from her for a day so that she could acquire her head and hide it in a place where she wouldn't find it. It would've been best to keep it inside her apartment, but she couldn't do that while Celty was there because she might end up finding it by accident. Kasuka's unexpected appearance had pissed her off, but the call she had gotten from Namie soon after that made her forget all about it. The woman was in trouble and she needed to hide for a while, and who was better to help her with that than Izaya? Namie was probably pissed off at having to give away Celty's head, but she wasn't stupid enough to value a head more than her own life. Izaya almost couldn't believe that she would finally get Celty's head because it sounded too good to be true.

She got up from the couch and went to her laptop to check some places where she could store the head. It was risky, but the only other choice she had would be to give up on Celty being her bodyguard, and she wasn't sure that was such a good idea after almost getting Shizuo killed. She stopped typing on her computer and leaned her chin on the back of her hand as she gave the whole situation some thought. If Shizuo was truly injured as badly as Celty made it sound then the brute would be out of the picture for a while, so perhaps it was easier to just bring Celty's head to her apartment and to send the Dullahan back to Shinra, at least until she could find a safe hideout for the head. It was better not to rush things.

Izaya closed the lid of her laptop, got up and went to bed. No matter how much she wanted to stay awake she had an important day tomorrow, and it was best if she got some sleep. There was always the possibility of things going wrong, like Namie changing her mind, or the people who were after her finding her before she'd be able to make the trade. Yes, she needed rest, so she closed her eyes and allowed her tired mind to drift off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Celty went back to Saburo's place and knocked on the door a few times before Kasuka opened it.

"Celty-san, what happened, why are you back?" asked Kasuka, his eyes red from lack of sleep.

[ Is Shinra still here? ]

"Yes," said Kasuka and moved out of the way to let her in.

They moved quietly as to not wake up Saburo, who was sleeping on the couch, and went to the bedroom where Shinra was watching over Shizuo.

"Celtymylove!" said Shinra as he ran and pulled her into a hug. "What happened? Why are you back? Not that I mind of course."

Celty's fingers were twitching, the temptation to smack him and push him away really hard to ignore. She had missed him though, so spending one day with him was a chance she might not get again anytime soon. [ Izaya told me to take tomorrow off from bodyguard duties. ]

"Really? I find that hard to believe," said Shinra as he went back to check on Shizuo, not missing the fact that Celty wrote something on her PDA and showed it to Kasuka.

"I'm sorry," said Kasuka.

"What happened?" asked Shinra.

"I went and threatened Izaya to leave Shizuo alone," said Kasuka.

"What?! Are you kidding me? You know you shouldn't mess with her... she's... she's a dangerous woman."

"I know, I was just... I'm not sure how to explain it, but I think I lost it."

Shinra looked at him in surprise. "What exactly did you say and do?'

Kasuka actually winced at the question.

"What did you do...?" asked Shinra again.

"I pinned her to a wall..."

"Gah!!!!!" screamed Shinra. "Are you insane?! You don't pin a rape victim to a wall, especially when you're the rapist's brother," he said, then immediately regretted it when Kasuka cringed at his words. "Sorry, I'm sorry," he added as he fixed his glasses. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine," said Kasuka, "I shouldn't have done it. I'm angry and I don't know how to deal with this feeling."

[ I'll see what I can do about it when I go back to Izaya. Perhaps she'll understand. ]

"That still doesn't change the fact that she tried to kill him. I don't know what to do anymore," said Kasuka and took Shizuo's limp hand into his own. "I understand where she's coming from, but she's hurting my brother, and even though I know that what he did was horrible, I'll still always take his side over anyone else's."

Shinra put a hand on Kasuka's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I understand. I've known both Izaya and Shizuo for a very long time and it pains me to see them hurt each other. It's not like in the past, when all I had to fix were broken bones or knife wounds... this is so much worse."

Kasuka never realized until then how hard it must've been for the doctor to see his best friends fight and hurt each other. It was easy for him to pick a side, but Shinra had known Shizuo for much longer than Izaya and yet Izaya had been the one who got hurt.

"I'm going to get some fresh air," said Shinra as he removed his hand from Kasuka's shoulder. "Celty, come with me."  
  
Kasuka watched them leave then turned tired eyes towards Shizuo. God, he looked horrible, this new Shizuo hardly reminding him of his brother before he ended up screwing up so badly. He wondered how could Shizuo make such a mistake, but then he remembered that what he had just done was not so different. Perhaps he was starting to understand him a bit. If he were to take the anger he felt and multiply it a few more times... well, it really was no wonder that Shizuo could lose it so easily. He looked at Shizuo again and stayed like that, his eyes fixed on his pained face until Shinra and Celty came back.

"I've decided to visit Izaya tomorrow. I need to have a talk with her anyway. I'll try to find out if she plans to make you pay for your actions tonight, and if yes, then I'll try to change her mind. Trust me, you don't want Izaya pissed off at you, it's already bad enough when she gets interested in people and decides she wants to play with their lives," said Shinra and sighed.

[ I'll stay here to guard Shizuo in case someone finds this place. ]

Kasuka pulled the blanket higher over Shizuo's unconscious form. "Thank you, both of you."

Shinra sat down on the chair and tried to make himself comfortable while Celty brought another one closer to his and sat down as well. Shinra immediately leaned his head on her shoulder and smiled when she didn't push him away. She was starting to fall for his charms.

 

* * *

 

Izaya was woken up the next morning by someone ringing the doorbell. She got out of bed, even though she wanted to sleep for a while longer, and went to see who was the person who had nothing better to do so early in the morning. "Ah, it's you," she said as she moved out of the way and went back inside, leaving Shinra to close the door. "You're here to bitch about me trying to get Shizuo killed?"

"I don't bitch! Now you're just being rude."

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm tired of people telling me what not to do. If I want to crush Shizuo, then I will, and I don't care whether you people like it or not," she said just before taking a seat in her office chair.

"Right, whatever you say, I'm not here to fight."

"How's Shizu-chan?"

"He'll live, no thanks to you."

"Aww, I'm sorry, oh wait, no, I really am not. That protozoan deserves everything he went through and much more," said Izaya and started spinning in her chair. "I hope he's in a lot of pain. Ahh... wouldn't it be nice to see him cry? Hmm, I'd really like to see that."

"Wow... you even scare me sometimes, and I'm not that easy to scare."

"Ahh, thank you~! I'm glad to know that I can still scare people... all things considered," said Izaya, her tone filled with bitterness.

Shinra sighed. "Listen, this is really driving me, Celty and Kasuka insane. I know that Shizuo was a dick... ok, perhaps I shouldn't have used that word," he said as he awkwardly scratched his head, "but the two of you have to understand that whatever you do affects the ones around you as well."

"Tch!"

"It's true. Take me and Celty for example. I rarely get to see her anymore because of this whole bodyguard thing. How am I to make her my wife if I can't even work my magic on her?"

"Believe me Shinra, if you haven't succeeded in making her yours until now, then you never will. How many years has it been since she started living with you?" said Izaya chuckling. "Many many many years!"

"Hey, I was a child you know!"

"Of course," chirped Izaya as she kept spinning. "As for Kasuka _―_ "

"No! You will leave him out of this!" hissed Shinra.

"Aww, but he attacked me first," she said in mock hurt. "You know how traumatizing it can be to find yourself restrained again, no fun at all."

"He wouldn't have done anything and you know that."

"Do I? Do I really know that? I also never thought his brother would be capable of more than breaking a few of my bones."

"You never told me what exactly happened that day."

"Are you kidding me?" said Izaya in disbelief. "Why would I ever... why the hell would I tell you what he did to me in detail. You must've hit your head or something."

Shinra rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. Besides, your wounds told me everything I needed to know," he said and winced when Izaya suddenly stopped spinning and gave him a death glare.

"Well, good for you, and since you seem to know everything then don't ask me stupid questions."

"What I want to know is what happened before... before he attacked you. What was different this time?"

Izaya stayed quiet for a while, Shinra patiently waiting to hear what she remembered of that day.

"I was passing through Ikebukuro and I happened to see Shizu-chan flirting with this bitch across the street. The slut was all over him, and he was smiling and flirting back. He was totally into it, so I though, why not mess with him when he seemed to have such a great time?" Izaya said and started laughing. "Haha! Can you imagine his face when the bitch turned around and left?"

"Iza _―_ "

"It was hilarious!"

"Izay _―_ "

"I totally fucked up his day!"

"You're a fucking idiot!" Shinra shouted.

Izaya froze, stunned at Shinra's outburst.

Shinra frowned. "Are you stupid?"

"Excuse me?" Izaya hissed.

"I won't deny that you're smart, but you can also be extremely stupid sometimes."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I know you love to troll people, but there's only so much someone can take before snapping."

Izaya glared daggers at him. "Are you trying to say that it was MY fault?"

Shinra banged his fists against the desk, the unexpected gesture making Izaya jump out of her chair and back away until she hit the window.

"No! Don't you dare look at me that way!" growled Shinra. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and moved away from the desk. "Don't you dare look at me with those eyes... like... like I'd ever hurt you," he said angrily. He should've known better. Just because she seemed fine it didn't mean that she actually was. That look of terror that flashed her eyes made him sick to his stomach. He took a few more steps backwards just to be on the safe side. "Never... look at me like that again," he repeated.

Izaya watched his every move, not daring to relax until he was far away from her. She was almost as stunned as he was that she would react that way, but after her run-in with Kasuka she couldn't help being jumpy. When that irrational fear took over it didn't matter if the one in front of her was her best friend, her body simply reacting on instinct.

"Then don't fucking tell me it was my fault, you bastard!" Izaya snarled, more angry at herself than at Shinra.

"I didn't say that, but there's only so much someone can take before losing control. You even made the usually emotionless Kasuka lose his, hell, even I lost it just now."

"It's not my fault you idiots can't control yourselves!" she snapped, then sat back in her chair.

"No offense Izaya, but for example, if you had somehow ruined my chance to get laid with Celty, I would never talk to you again," he said seriously.

"He was just talking to some random bitch!"

"Not all of us have a special someone! Dammit Izaya, I'm not trying to justify Shizuo's actions, but even you should realize that it was a stupid move. So you have this guy who hates your guts, and who's about to get laid, and then the woman he hates more than anything in the world chases away his potential sex partner leaving him angry and most likely horny too."

"You don't see me jumping the guys I hate when I get horny!"

Shinra narrowed his eyes, a knowing smile gracing his lips. "No, you don't do that, instead you chase away said guy's potential partner."

"Fuck you! I've never felt any sort of attraction towards that protozoan! What is there to like about him? He's stupid, violent, unpredictable and a complete monster!"

Shinra shrugged. "Only you know the answer to that question."

"I do not like him!"

"Yeah right," said Shinra and rolled his eyes, "he most certainly doesn't like you either."

"What the hell are you implying?"

"He obviously likes you!"

Izaya looked at him like he had grown a second head. "A few minutes ago you were saying he hates me. Besides, you don't rape someone you like... you're insane."

"Just like you hate him. I know for certain that he's sorry about what he did."

"He can take his 'sorry' and shove it up his ass!"

"All right, all right, forget about it."

Izaya folded her arms in front of her and glared at Shinra. "If you're done talking then leave."

"Not before you promise me that you won't do anything to Kasuka," said Shinra and folded his arms as well.

Izaya chuckled. "He's just a little fish, so don't worry about it. The shark is the one I'm after."

"Promise?"

"Why do you care so much?" asked Izaya, slightly amused.

"I can't deal with even more shit right now!" Shinra said and raised his arms in exasperation. "I'm tired, and I just want some peace and quiet. I miss the days when all I had to worry about was how to get into Celty's pants!"

Izaya burst into laughter. "If only Celty could hear you now..."

Shinra smiled. "Let her hear it! A man has needs you know!"

"You're an idiot," said Izaya, "but an idiot I care about, as much as I don't want to admit. I really shouldn't put some humans above others. Stop making me break my own rules!"

Shinra smirked then, a smirk that sent a shiver down her spine. "It's fine, I'm not like all the other humans."

"Hah, that's right," said Izaya and started spinning in her chair again. "You're somewhat of a monster too, otherwise I would've gotten bored years ago."

"Now I feel hurt Iza-chan. Are you telling me that you've been playing with me all these years?"

"The world is my playground, so what did you expect?" said Izaya, a smirk splitting her face in two.

"I'm not sure whether to feel privileged or hurt. Anyway, I must go, I'll see you around. Hopefully you won't try to blow me up with Shizuo, or something along those lines."

Izaya snickered. "I'll try not to."

 

* * *

 

After leaving Izaya's place, Shinra went back to Saburo's apartment. "We're going to have to move Shizuo soon," he told Kasuka as he checked to see if his state had worsened or improved while he was away.

"We can take him to my apartment," Kasuka offered.

"No, like I said, they will look there eventually."

"Then what can we do?"

Shinra smirked. "There's this place I own, and no one knows about it. You can stay there with Shizuo for a while, until we can fix this."

"I don't want to impose on you more than I already have."

"Don't worry about it, you won't. Like I said, no one knows about that place because I don't live there. They will check here as well sooner or later, because Dota-chin is a friend of Shizuo and Saburo is Dota-chin's friend. It's best not to underestimate the Awakusu-kai."

"I see. In that case, thank you."

"No problem. I'll go clean that apartment with Celty before you two can move in. Call me if there's any change."

Kasuka nodded, then watched as Shinra left. He lowered his head on the bed and fell asleep there.

 

* * *

 

When Kasuka woke up it was to the pleasant feeling of someone patting his head, and he immediately recognized the hand as belonging to his brother.

"Hey, sleepyhead," said Shizuo with a smile on his face even though his body was in agony.

"Nii-san! You're awake!"

"Of course I am, I'm a monster after all. Not even a fall from the fifth floor can kill me," he said and smiled bitterly. "It would've been better if I had though."

"Don't ever say that again!" snapped Kasuka.

Shizuo was startled for a second, not used to seeing Kasuka raise his tone when talking to him.

"I don't care what kind of person you are!" Kasuka continued, his tone still higher than normal. "You'd better not die and leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry," said Shizuo softly, "I shouldn't have said that."

"Promise me!"

"What?"

"Promise that you won't leave me alone!"

"I promise..."

"Remember your promise."

"Ah, fuck," Shizuo hissed.

"What is it, nii-san?"

"Everything h-hurts. It's hard to breathe too."

"Here, take these," said Kasuka as he handed him a few pills and a glass of water. "Shinra brought these for when you woke up."

Shizuo swallowed the pills with the water and tried to relax, knowing that it wouldn't help to complain about the pain. "I'll have to thank him when I see him," he said and handed Kasuka the empty glass.

"He went to clean some apartment he has. He said that we can stay there until we find a way to fix the mess Izaya got you into."

"No, I don't want him to get involved in this. I'll be fine, just give me a couple of days and I'll be like new."

"Nii-san! You're hurt, badly, and you can't even move by yourself. Stop joking around, you won't be fine for a while, and all because of that... because of Izaya," said Kasuka, his tone more hateful that Shizuo had ever heard it.

He narrowed his eyes at Kasuka and tried to figure out what was wrong with his little brother. The usual Kasuka was impossible to read, but the Kasuka in front of him seemed really angry. "It's fine, don't worry about it," he said, hoping that Kasuka would calm down, but his words seemed to make him angrier instead.

"It's NOT fine! You could have died, and all because of her! We have to do something about her, nii-san, we need to find a way to stop her from going after you."

"Whoa, what's gotten into you?"

"It's all because of her! It's a miracle that you survived this time, but who knows what she'll do next time?!" said Kasuka and banged the glass against the desk.

Shizuo watched in disbelief at all the emotions his brother was showing. "Look, I don _―_ "

"I'm back!" said Shinra as he barged into the room. "You're awake!" he nearly squealed in delight when he saw that Shizuo was conscious. "You gave me a scare there! An almost-heart-attack! I'll hold you responsible if I end up dying because of you."

"Hah, nice to see you too," said Shizuo, amused by the doctor's antics. He'd really missed Shinra.

Celty entered the room as well.

[ I need to do an errand. Can I go? ]

"Of course! I'll walk you to your bike," said Shinra and they both left.

Shizuo's head hung low, the pain of having disappointed Celty hitting him anew, but he didn't have any right to complain, because he had been the one to screw up everything.


	16. Undisclosed Desires

That very night Shinra, Celty and Kadota took both Shizuo and Kasuka and transported them to the apartment where they could hide from the Awakusu-kai. It wasn't a good idea to move Shizuo around, and even though Shinra knew that the man must be in a lot of pain, he had no choice.

"On a scale from one to ten, how bad is the pain," asked Shinra when he saw that Shizuo's face was twisted in agony.

The ride there was anything but painless, the constant movement sending jolts of pain throughout his body. "Zero," he said with a brittle smile on his face.

Shinra rolled his eyes. "Right."

Shizuo didn't say anything, because he knew that no one would believe him anyway, so instead he closed his eyes and tried to focus on just breathing, the action alone being nothing less than torturous. He felt Kasuka squeeze his hand to reassure him, and he instantly regretted getting him involved. Kasuka should've been spending his time working on a movie or something, not risking his life by running around with him. _If only I hadn't done such a stupid mistake that day..._

"We're here," said Shinra in a cheerful tone and helped Kadota to move Shizuo inside as inconspicuously as possible. He didn't want anyone to see them because he didn't want the Awakusu-kai to barge in on the two brothers.

Shizuo grunted in pain as they moved him, his jaw clenched so hard that it hurt, feeling as though his body kept getting stabbed repeatedly, a part of him almost wishing that it was true and that it was being done to him by Izaya. She was looking well enough, not like that scared animal he remembered seeing that night in the abandoned warehouse, or the next morning back at his apartment. He didn't like that version of Izaya, and it hurt him to know that he had been the one to turn her into that.

"Here we go," said Kadota as he finished laying Shizuo on the bed. "I have to go now, but I'll see you around, just not too soon, because I don't want to lead them here in case they send someone to follow me."

"Thanks," said Shizuo and watched as Kadota and Shinra walked out of the room, the only one staying behind being his little brother. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Kasuka blinked in surprise, as though he couldn't believe his older brother would worry about him instead of worrying about himself. Then again, Shizuo always worried about him more than anyone else. "I'm fine," was his simple answer.

"Good."

"Nii-san... I think... I made a mistake," said Kasuka weakly. It was best that Shizuo found out from him than from Izaya, because he was sure that Izaya would eventually tell him, and also that she would most likely twist everything around in order to suit her own agenda.

Shizuo's brows furrowed. "What did you do?"

"I might've threatened Izaya to stop trying to kill you or else _―_ "

"Or else what?!" Shizuo nearly shouted. "Are you insane? You shouldn't mess with Izaya, unless you want her to come after you too."

"I think it might already be too late for that."

Shizuo's eyes narrowed.

"I was... angry? I think I was feeling anger, so I grabbed her throat and slammed her into a wall." Kasuka couldn't remember ever seeing Shizuo speechless, but he was sure that at that moment his brother was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry!"

Shizuo just stared at him, stunned, not knowing how to react. It was wrong of him to do such a thing, yet he couldn't help but feel warm on the inside knowing that his Kasuka had taken it upon himself to keep him safe, even if that meant going against Izaya. It was also hard to believe that Kasuka would get angry enough to act in such a manner. All in all, Shizuo really didn't know whether to be glad that Kasuka was acting on his emotions or afraid that Izaya might go after him as well. It was probably the latter.

Kasuka didn't like seeing his brother this quiet. "Nii-san?"

"Sorry, I was just... surprised, I don't even know what to say," said Shizuo, his stupefied expression most likely speaking by itself. "You wouldn't normally act like this."

"I don't want you to die!" Kasuka said, hands balled into fists.

Shizuo cringed, knowing that he might not be able to stay alive for much longer when Izaya kept trying to kill him. He couldn't even blame her, but he still wished that he could somehow convince her to forgive him so that his brother would no longer suffer. It was obvious that Kasuka was not doing well because of him, going so far as to most likely refuse to play in a movie or a commercial just so that he could be with him. He needed to protect Kasuka somehow, and he would start by making sure that Izaya wouldn't go after him. "Can you call Shinra for me?"

Kasuka nodded and went to get the doctor.

"What is it? Are you in pain? Well, more than you already are?" asked Shinra.

"No, I just want to talk to you about something." He turned his head towards Kasuka. "Can you give us a few minutes?"

"Sure," said Kasuka and left the room.

Shinra sat on the chair that Kasuka was previously occupying and watched Shizuo with a questioning look. "What is it?"

"Look, I know that I have no right to ask anything of you, not after what I've done, but I don't want my brother to get hurt."

"I understand, I like Kasuka-kun too, and I also don't want to see him hurt."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Kasuka struggled a lot to get you out of jail. He cares about you."

"I know, and that's exactly why I want you to find a way for me to talk to Izaya so that I can convince her to not go after him."

Shinra smiled. "Don't worry about it, I've already talked to her."

Shizuo looked at him in surprise. "You did?"

"Yes," said Shinra with a smirk on his face, "and it looks like she's only interested in you, so she won't waste her precious time on Kasuka."

Shizuo kept quiet for a while, trying to figure out whether Izaya was serious about it or not, then realizing that the answer was most likely no. "I don't believe her. She knows how much I care about Kasuka, so she might try to go after him just to make me suffer."

Shinra frowned, worried that Shizuo might be right. "You're safe here for now."

"We can't stay here forever!" said Shizuo in a rough voice.

"You're right, you can't stay here forever, but while you're here, both you and Kasuka are safe, and that's the most I can promise at the moment," said Shinra, arms folded in front of his chest. "Just concentrate on getting better, then you can worry about Izaya all you want."

Shizuo laughed brokenly, the pain in his chest making it hard to breathe. "How can I not worry about her after what I've done? Can you even begin to imagine how much I hate myself?"

Shinra stared in surprise, not expecting Shizuo to feel so much regret in regard to his past actions. He was glad that he did thought, because if Shizuo wasn't sorry at all then he wouldn't have minded to watch as Izaya utterly destroyed him. "No, I can't imagine, but at least you know that what you did was wrong."

"Wrong? Just wrong? No, it wasn't just wrong, it was so much more!"

Shinra cringed, not really wanting to hear more of it but knowing that Shizuo most likely needed someone to listen to him. "I'm here if you want to talk about it," he said, and felt a pang in his chest when Shizuo's sorrowful eyes locked with his own.

"Are you sure?"

Shinra nodded. "Tell me what happened that day." He had heard Izaya's version, so now he was curious to hear how Shizuo saw the events of that day.

"I was talking to a woman... she was good-looking, and she seemed interested in me. You know how most women are scared of me, but I think that she was one of those masochists, because she wanted to see just how strong I was."

"Ah."

"I couldn't resist you know, she was such a turn-on, but then she left when Izaya showed up, leaving me there all horny and pissed off."

Shinra sighed. "That was a stupid move on her part."

Shizuo nodded and continued. "You know, I wanted to rape her, I won't pretend it was an accident. I wanted her to suffer, I wanted to break and humiliate her, I wanted to see her cry, I wanted her to know how it is to lose control for once."

Shinra awkwardly ran a hand through his hair, thinking that it had been much easier to hear Izaya's version of the story.

"So that's what I did. I raped her, repeatedly, and I was going to keep going because no matter how much she cried and begged it wasn't enough. I thought she needed to suffer more in order to make up for all the stuff she has done to me over the years, and besides, the rumors were that she was a loose whore, so I didn't see the problem in doing it."

"Ah, but Iza―"

"I know! I know that now, and I should've figured it out back then too. I've hurt Izaya before, but she always smiled and mocked me even when she was in pain, yet that time she was crying and asking me to stop, and she was so scared..." said Shizuo, his voice shaking towards the end. It was always painful to remember how he had broken her.

"At least you know that now," said Shinra as he removed his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. "Izaya is very strong, but she can be fragile too."

"And beautiful," Shizuo added.

"Yes she is, but my Celty is prettier."

Shizuo actually laughed at that, which was not a good idea considering how many broken bones he sported, until he suddenly stopped, a horrified look crossing his face as he stared at Shinra. "I shouldn't have... oh god..."

"What?" Shinra asked, confused.

"I shouldn't have told you any of this! It isn't fair towards Izaya. I'm an idiot, I'm such a goddam idiot. I'm sorry!"

"Ah relax, Izaya already told me."

Shizuo's eyes widened in surprise. "She... did?"

"Yeah, so it's ok, don't worry about it." It was a lie though, because Izaya hadn't told him everything about the incident, and after hearing it from Shizuo's mouth, he wished the man had never revealed such gruesome details. He had known that Izaya must've been scared, but he was hoping that she hadn't begged nor cried. That just wasn't her. Then again, Shizuo was a monster, so who could really blame her for breaking under the brutal treatment?

"I can't believe she'd tell anyone about it."

"I'm her best friend," said Shinra, feeling a bit smug. "I really miss our high school days. I think I'm turning nostalgic."

"Me too," said Shizuo in a sad voice, "even though Izaya kept sending gangs after me."

Shinra laughed weakly. "She still does it though."

"Ah, I guess so."

Shinra put his glasses back on and sighed. "I never understood why you hate each other so much. For example, you tried to punch her the second I introduced her to you. Seriously, who tries to punch a girl just like that?"

"She was giving off a bad vibe, and I couldn't stand her smug smile. I knew she was trouble the second I met her."

Shinra chuckled. "I could argue that you were both trouble, and that you still are."

Shizuo cringed, realizing that he was just as bad as she was. "You're right. It's not like I've ever been good at self-control."

"I think you should get some rest. Frankly, I'm surprised you can even stay conscious, let alone talk," said Shinra as he got up.

Shizuo smiled bitterly. "That's because I'm a monster."

"Aren't we all to some degree?"

"Heh, you're right."

"I'm always right," Shinra chirped.

"I was talking about getting some rest."

"Ok, I'll check on you again tomorrow. Good night."

"Thanks," said Shizuo and watched Shinra leave the room. He closed his eyes and tried to empty his mind, yet all he could see were flashbacks of the events from that day. Izaya's screams as he kept thrusting into her, Izaya's tremors and shudders, Izaya asking him to stop...

He suddenly felt really sick, his stomach churning painfully, but he couldn't afford to throw up all over himself when he couldn't move, meaning that Kasuka would end up having to clean up his mess. Instead he kept his eyes wide open, struggling to stop the vivid images from brutally slamming into his consciousness. Just thinking about having to live with the knowledge of what he had done almost made him want to scream in pain, because this anguish was much worse than any physical pain he had ever experienced. This sort of pain slowly consumed him, day after day, the guilt and regret making it harder and harder to breath. _Izaya killing me would be more of a mercy killing than anything else._ He knew that he should somehow pay for what he had done, but he felt both physically and mentally exhausted. He almost wished for Izaya to end it soon, to sink her switchblade deep into his heart where it belonged.

 

* * *

 

Weeks passed as Shizuo stayed inside the apartment and healed his broken body. He hated small spaces, and he hated being cooped up inside, especially after doing the exact same thing in prison for so long. His wounds were healing fast, much faster than most humans probably healed, which only served to further prove that he was a monster. He didn't mind though, because he wanted to get up, to leave the apartment and to talk to Izaya.

The Awakusu-kai were still looking for him, and they even ended up checking on Kadota and his bunch. They tried to intimidate them into revealing any information they might've had, but they all kept quiet, Erika proving to be braver than Shizuo had ever imagined. He didn't deserve to even know such good people. In fact, he didn't deserve anything besides pain and misery, and the scary thing was that he didn't even mind thinking that way. He was finally starting to come to terms with the fact that he was a monster, a monster who only knew how to destroy and break everyone and everything around him. It was much easier to accept what he was than to keep denying it like he had in the past.

To say that he despised himself was an understatement, but his self-hatred only increased with each passing day, because no matter how much he tried to forget about Izaya, he couldn't. He wanted her, he wanted her so badly that his body ached for her. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to gently kiss that beautiful white skin and to make love to her. He wanted to show her that he could be gentle too, even though he wasn't certain that he could be, but he wanted to. He had no idea how her face would look in the throes of passion, instead of the pained and disgusted look she gave him when he held her down and rammed into her like an animal. He hated himself for having such thoughts, because he didn't even have the right to imagine something as pleasant as that, but most of the time his mind refused to listen to him.

It was pointless to think about it, because he knew that Izaya would never forgive him and never allow him to lay his hands on her again, his monstrous hands which had inflicted so much pain and suffering on the much smaller body. It was terrifying to even think that it could've been much worse. He remembered his desire to break her that day, to break her body into a million pieces as he kept thrusting into her, but he couldn't. It was a miracle that she got out of it with no broken bones. He had certainly intended to break her, but something inside held him back. He knew that he had been brutal in his treatment, but it wasn't the worse he could do. To break her limbs would've been a child's play. He could've really fucked her to death, and it scared him to think that he had the power to do so had he wanted. He truly was a monster, but there had to be a part of him that was human, and that was what had stopped him from crushing her with all of his might. It was strange to think about it, but he must've been attracted to her in some way, otherwise he couldn't have gotten anywhere near her without feeling disgust, and what he felt as he cut her t-shirt was anything but disgust. What he had felt was desire too, he knew that now. He wanted to make her his, to make her forget of all the others that had the audacity to get anywhere near her, all those men who had the privilege of having a willing Izaya, while all she ever showed him was contempt. None of those other men deserved her, because Izaya should've been his alone to kiss, to love and even to break if he so desired. The irony of it all was that there hadn't been any other men beside him, and while that made him happy, it also broke his heart even more. Not even someone like the flea deserved such a traumatizing first sexual encounter.

She should've told him before he had a chance to take her body by force, but knowing her, she probably didn't want to show him any sort of weakness, because Izaya always thought of herself as being strong. She had been strong, the first time anyway, but after that, even someone as strong as her ended up succumbing to the pain and fear. It sickened him that he had enjoyed hurting someone like that.

 

* * *

 

The more times passed, the more he wanted to see Izaya. He needed to see her, and he knew that it was almost an obsession, but he didn't care. At least he was feeling well enough to stand and walk around the apartment. Kasuka was mostly trying to make him sit down, but Shizuo felt like a lion inside a tiny cage. He wanted to get out, to feel the wind and the rain, and everything else that made him feel alive, but he couldn't do so as long as Kasuka was keeping an eye on him. It hadn't been easy to get Kasuka off his back, but a whole night of forcing him to stay awake as they watched a bunch of movies left his little brother a tired mess. It was easy to sneak out of the apartment after that. There was no wind outside though, but the sun's rays felt pleasant on his too pale and cold skin. He had missed the sun and the freedom of being able to just walk more than a few paces without having to turn back, like he had been forced to do in prison and inside the apartment.

At least he was in Shibuya, which meant that he could easily get to Shinjuku. He couldn't help but wonder how could Shinra afford an apartment in Shibuya and one in Ikebukuro, but then again, he really didn't want to know. Shinra was a little devil, quite the monster himself, so it was best to just be thankful to the man for helping him out instead of leaving him to get caught, brutally tortured by the Awakusu-kai and then killed. He didn't mind dying, because he deserved it for his sins, but he refused to do so until Izaya forgave him or until Izaya herself took the switchblade and killed him herself.

With that thought in mind he walked to the train station and took the one to Shinjuku. The problem was that he had no idea where Izaya lived, and that's why it took a lot of asking around and many hours wasted on wandering the streets until he finally ran into someone who knew where Shinjuku's Informant lived. Shizuo glared at the money he had left after paying the woman for the information. At least he had enough for a ride back to Shibuya.

He stopped in front of the apartment building and stared at the window that was supposed to belong to Izaya's apartment. He felt a headache coming his way, Kasuka's obsession with not letting him smoke while he was still healing driving him mad. His throat was burning for a cigarette, but if he were to buy a pack then he wouldn't have enough money left to go back, and with the Awakusu-kai still looking for him, it was not a good idea to wander the streets too much.

It was funny, how he couldn't get his legs to move, to get his body to enter the apartment building and to knock on her door. He knew she would be scared, most likely terrified, because he wasn't injured like that time when she came to see him. Now he could hurt her. He wouldn't though, never again, but she would most likely never take his word for it. Why would she? She saw him as a monster who deserved nothing but suffering, a monster who couldn't control himself. Shizuo however had the confidence of being able to refrain from touching her no matter how much she would rile him up. His time in prison helped him with his rage, because all those time he ended up chained up and drugged he had no way of unleashing his fury on those who enjoyed torturing him so much. He now knew what it meant to be powerless, and because of that he never wanted to be the one to make someone feel like that. He cursed out loud and sat down on the sidewalk. He couldn't walk up to her apartment and knock on her door. He didn't remember being such a coward before.

Then something unexpected happened. She just passes him by as though he didn't exist. His eyes widened in disbelief, and he barely restrained himself from getting up and grabbing her. It wasn't because he wanted to hurt her, he just wanted to feel her. He had missed her, all those months of mostly thinking about her being nothing but pure torture. Her horrible fashion sense was the same as always, but her hair was longer, which made her look more feminine. It had to be because of his black hair that she hadn't recognized him. After all the stuff he'd been through, he hadn't bothered to dye it back, and also because he associated the blond hair with the rage monster from that time.


	17. When the Levee Breaks

"Izaya!" Shizuo called out to her as he sprang to his feet, immediately regretting his impulsive reaction when he saw the color disappear from her face as though she had just seen a ghost.

Izaya turned around, body frozen in shock as she stared wide-eyed at the man she despised from the bottom of her heart. Her hand tightened around the handle of the switchblade she always carried with her inside the pocket of her jacket and she had to fight with everything she had to not succumb to her fear. The last time she had seen him he was too weak to fight, but now he was back on his feet, which meant that he could easily attack her if he so chose. She watched as he took a few steps towards her and she firmly closed her lips, barely suppressing a whimper. She felt as though she was suffocating in a sea of terror, but she kept struggling until she succeeded in getting to the surface, the rational part of her mind knowing that she wasn't supposed to show him any weakness. Shizuo was an animal, and the moment he would smell fear, he would attack, so to prevent such a thing from happening she had to pretend that she was in control. She had no idea if she'd be able to do it, but she had to try anyway, because it beat running away and risking getting caught by him again. If, by any chance, he would attack in the middle of the street she would scream for help this time, because she would never again allow herself to be dragged away by him. She tried to put a smile on her face but she knew that it looked forced, so she dropped it and instead tried to keep a straight face. It was so strange to see him without his usual signature look, the blond hair and bartender uniform gone, the person before barely reminding her of the monster who humiliated her in the worst possible way. Even his expression was softer, the angry scowl he had on his face each time they ran into each other now replaced by something that looked quite alien on the monster's face. It pissed her off. "Is Shizu-chan pretending to be human now?" she said, unconsciously tightening her hand around the switchblade.

Upon hearing the question, Shizuo felt as though she had just stabbed him with one of her switchblades, but he couldn't really blame her, because she had no reason to believe that he was human, not after showing her the monster within. "You're looking better," he said with a brittle smile on his face. It made him feel better knowing that he had failed in his attempt at breaking her into a million pieces like he had wanted back then. He knew that she was not completely fine, but at least she was somewhat similar to the strong Izaya that he used to know before he ended up making the biggest mistake of his life and hurting her in a fit of pure rage.

Izaya shot him an icy glare before realizing that she wasn't supposed to show him just how much he had broken her. What she wanted to show him was how strong she still was even after going through something as traumatizing as rape. Orihara Izaya was a good actress, and she would act out as the great fearless Informant regardless of the situation. She now understood fear, as well as how terrible Ikebukuro's beast could be, so no matter what happened to her from that point on she was certain that it could never be worse than what he had already put her through. "You almost look human," she said in a conceded tone, "but we both know that you're not."

Shizuo tried to hide how hurt he felt by her remark but he doubted that he succeeded in hiding his emotions. He was not like her, because while she could easily hide behind a mask, his expressions always showed exactly how he felt. "Y-yeah... I'm just a monster after all," he said, fighting the urge to lower his head in shame.

"So it would seem, considering you survived an angry mob of Awakusu-kai underlings," she said, disgusted by his attitude.

Shizuo winced at the memory of his fall from the fifth floor but didn't say anything.

This was not the man she knew, this was not the Ikebukuro beast who dragged her to the middle of nowhere to fuck her just because she had ruined his chance at getting laid. _Or is it?_ "Did that make you mad, hmm? Have you finally decided to kill me once and for all?"

"No," he hurried to answer, hands balling into fists. "I don't want to hurt you again."

She only watched him for a moment before she burst into laughter. "Ahh ha ha ha!" She would never believe such lies coming out of his mouth. He was a monster, a dumb protozoan, and such a creature would never understand what he did wrong that day. "You should be a comedian, Shizu-chan. I bet you'd make lots of money spewing such ridiculous crap."

Shizuo grit his teeth in frustration, knowing that he lacked the ability to properly explain to her how he felt. She always succeeded in making him feel inferior each time she opened her mouth, as though she knew exactly what to say to both embarrass and piss him off at the same time. He knew that she was much smarter than he was, so to try to explain himself to such a person was close to impossible, especially when Izaya could easily put him down every time he opened his mouth. Hell, she even made him feel stupid because he loved to drink milk and eat pudding, and that alone said everything. There was nothing wrong with eating those, yet he couldn't stop but feel stupid when she called him a little kid for liking sweets. Either way, there was no point in dwelling on such things when he had her in front of him, actually listening to what he was saying instead of running away from him like he assumed she'd do. "I'm being serious here. My time in prison made me realize a lot of things to which I was blind before, so I've been thinking a lot about that day when I..."

Lips quirked upwards into a sardonic smile, she looked at him as though he was nothing more than a stain on humanity. "Monsters like you should not bother thinking too much, because your head might overheat and explode. Then again, perhaps you should, because I would certainly love to watch such a show."

Shizuo fought to contain the growl that seemed to want to erupt from deep within, knowing that if he did make any sort of threatening moves or sounds then she would most likely attack or run away. His eyes roamed around for a bit to make sure that he wasn't being watched before turning his attention back to her. "Can we go someplace to talk?"

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she wondered if perhaps he had lost his mind after the too many blows to the head he had received over the years. It was almost infuriating how dense he could be. "Like I'd ever want to go anywhere with you, stupid beast," she spat the words with the most contemptuous voice she could muster. "I'd tell you to go die in a ditch, but that wouldn't satisfy me... Ah, then again, I don't even think that you know how to satisfy a woman."

Shizuo opened his mouth a couple of times trying to say something, but he didn't know what to say, so he simply closed it shut and lowered his head in shame.

"You were terrible, just terrible," she repeated, amused by his stricken expression. _That certainly struck a nerve,_ she thought with no little amount of satisfaction. There was probably nothing worse for a man than to hear how much he sucked in bed, and even though she knew that his aim hadn't been to make her feel good that time, she was certain that he would still hate to hear her mock his non-existent love-making skills. _Well, too fucking bad._ And perhaps she was risking a lot by mocking a violent beast, but even she knew that he wasn't stupid enough to risk doing anything to her besides throwing a punch or one of those street signs that he seemed to love so much, not as long as they were in the middle of the street. She would run like her life depended on it at the first sign of aggression, and perhaps it did, because who knew how much the brute hated her? He might've looked remorseful, but he was still a beast, and that would never change.

Shizuo slowly raised his head and gave her a guilty look, not really caring as much as she thought he did about the way in which she was making fun of him. _Hell, I deserved it,_ he thought dejectedly. What he was really sad and ashamed about was not showing her just how good it could've been. _I'm just a monster after all._ He knew that she was still a fucking bitch and a terrible human being, but he also knew that he wasn't much better either. _We're both monsters._

"I believe we are done here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have important things to take care of," said Izaya and tried to turn around, only to get her arm grabbed by Shizuo.

"Wait!" he pleaded, not yet realizing what he was doing.

Izaya stared in both anger and horror as his fingers held onto her arm for only a few moments before she pulled out her switchblade and pressed it into the skin of his neck. "Let.Go." she said in a cold voice, eyes glaring daggers at the man who dared to touch her again as though he had the right to do so.

Shizuo's eyes widened in surprise before he pulled back his hand as though he'd been burned. "Shit, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinki―"

"Of course not," she spat out the words with disgust, body thrumming with fear, "you never think."

"I'm sorry," he said, cringing and inwardly cursing himself for the monumental mistake. It seemed that he was still far away from controlling both his emotions and actions. "I'm sorry," he repeated and backed away one step, trying his hardest to pretend that he hadn't noticed how she was trembling like a leaf in the wind. "I'm sorry."

"Shut up, stupid monster, you're a lost cause," she hissed out the words before she lowered the hand holding so tightly onto the switchblade that her knuckles were turning white. "I will never grant you forgiveness, because I despise you from the bottom of my heart." She was one step away from attacking him herself, but she was not so far gone as to believe that she stood a chance in actually killing him. She hated herself in moments like these, because she was willing to forsake her plan of revenge just for the satisfaction she would feel at seeing his lifeless corpse. "Unless you plan to kill me, I don't want to see your face anywhere near my apartment again," she said and turned around, only to halt in her steps when she noticed someone spying them from within a car. Her eyes roamed around the area and she noticed that there were more suspicious people besides the one in the car. She couldn't be sure whether they were after him or after her, but she had a feeling that they were after her. She had been working hard on finding the person behind the unnamed group distributing the Heaven's Slave drug, so perhaps they had realized that she was poking her nose into their business. She knew how dangerous they were, because the people who got too close to finding out the name of their leader seemed to mysteriously disappear one after the other, cops and prosecutors included. Perhaps there were some people waiting for her inside her apartment too. She inwardly cursed and turned back towards Shizuo, contemplating the idea of using him. She absolutely despised the man, but it seemed like a good idea to use him as cannon fodder. "Shizu-chan," she said sweetly, the tone alone making her sick, "perhaps we should talk after all. Follow me."

Shizuo watched her walk away with his mouth agape, her words sounding too good to be true. He almost couldn't believe that she was willing to listen to him, let alone invite him to her apartment, but he shook his head to wake up from his stupor before he increasing his speed in order to catch up to her. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, his voice trembling a bit as he was overwhelmed by emotions he didn't even know how to name.

Izaya shot him a glare before she remembered that she was only using him to get to safety. Ikebukuro's beast would surely beat up anyone who happened to attack either of them. _The brute can be useful sometimes,_ she thought as she entered the apartment building and got into the elevator, trying not to panic while being inside such a narrow space with the man who had brutally raped her. She felt her fear spike when he turned towards her and she had to fight the urge to cower under his stare.

Shizuo carefully watched her, trying his best to not do anything that would set her off. "Izaya," he said softly, "calm down. I told you already, I'm not going to hurt you again."

 _Huh?_ She looked at him in surprise, wondering how he had guessed, then she followed his gaze and her eyes fell upon her trembling hand as she was pointing the switchblade in his direction without even realizing what she was doing. _I'm scared,_ she reluctantly admitted to herself.

Shizuo backed himself into a corner, trying to look as non-threatening as possible, but then the door to the elevator opened and Izaya dashed out and straight towards her apartment.

 _I'm scared,_ she kept thinking as she tried to open the door with trembling hands, keys falling from her grasp when Shizuo seemed to appear next to her out of nowhere.

 **"Calm down, flea!"** he tried saying a bit louder, hating to see her lose her composure just from being in the elevator with him. "Look, I'm going to go now, so let's talk another day, ok?"

It took Izaya a moment to realize what he was saying, and when she did she was overwhelmed by shame. She grit her teeth in frustration, hating herself from losing it like that, but what was done was done, and she had no way to turn back time and fix her mistake. However, she refused to let him believe that she was this pathetic, so she forced a smile on her face and tried to speak without her voice trembling. "T-that's not it. Some men were watching one of us, so I thought that'd be best to get inside my apartment as soon as possible. They might be dangerous people."

"It might be the Awakusu-kai following me," he said in an annoyed tone. "Look, I'd better leave now, because I don't want to get you involved in this."

Izaya wearily watched him, still not daring to pick up the keys from where they had fallen with Shizuo so close to her. "I'm not so sure about that," she said before she glued her ear to the door to hear if there was anyone inside.

Shizuo watched her with a confused expression on his face. "What are you doing?"

"Shh!!" she ordered, then focused on trying to pick up any voices coming from behind the door. There was nothing though, so she sighed in relief and turned towards the stupid protozoan whose sole presence both pissed her off and scared her to death. "I think it's safe now."

Shizuo bent down to pick up her keys, his action startling her. "Someone could still be inside. I'll go in first."

Izaya's brows furrowed in confusion, his offer to help taking her by surprise. The brute had never before cared whether she got hurt or not. What's more, he had been the one to hurt her more than anyone before him, so to see him act as though he really was concerned made her think that she was looking at another version of him from a parallel universe. _Ridiculous._ "Go ahead." Worst case scenario, he would be busy fighting off the people inside while she ran away.

"I'll go in, check, then come out, so wait here. Once I make sure that it's safe, I'll leave. All right?"

Izaya nodded.

Shizuo put his left hand on the handle and twisted the key before slowly pressing down and getting ready to open the door. For some strange reason he had a bad feeling about the whole thing, so when he proceeded to open the door he could hear a voice inside his mind screaming _DANGER_. Perhaps it was the deadly silence in the hallway as they both stayed quiet, or maybe because he was listening intently, but he could almost swear that he heard something click. He moved on instinct as he covered Izaya with his body, the explosion obliterating everything inside the apartment and throwing both of them into the opposite wall, Izaya getting squashed between Shizuo's body and the wall while a few different-sized pieces that once used to be a part of the metallic door embedded themselves into both their bodies. He collapsed on the ground with Izaya on top of him, the metallic fragments further digging into his back. Most people would've screamed at that, yet he didn't, but he couldn't be sure because he wasn't able to hear nor say anything, his vision quickly tunneling into darkness. He tried to look down but he couldn't move, and the second he tried to push himself up he lost consciousness.

Izaya cried out in pain, her whole body screaming in agony and she had a feeling that her skull would've cracked open from the impact had Shizuo not put his hand behind her head before they hit the wall. She slowly looked up towards his face to see whether or not he was still conscious and she slurred out his name, hoping to get a reaction from him, but there was only silence. _They've really tried to kill me,_ she thought, horrified, realizing how close she came to losing her life.

"Take them both," a rough voice boomed throughout the hallway.

Her eyes snapped to the shoes stopping right next to Shizuo's shoulder and she tried to raise her head to see who it was but she was still too weak from the impact to even get up, let alone fight the person who was giving the orders. "S-stop," she said weakly as she was grabbed by the arms and hauled to her feet before they started dragging her down the stairs. "L-et g-go," she tried again, yet the men were completely ignoring her demands. She wasn't exactly sure of the damage her body had suffered, but the coppery taste of blood filling her mouth made her wonder if perhaps she had suffered any internal injuries. She tried to wrench herself from their hold but one of them punch her in the stomach so hard that she cried out in pain, muscles tensing for a few agonizing moments before going limp.

 _Why is no one stopping them,_ she wondered as she was taken out of the building and thrown into a van, the people on the streets apparently too busy watching the burning apartment to pay any attention to what was happening around them. She coughed a few times as they tied her wrists and ankles, finally glad that she could breathe easier now that she was away from the smoke. _Smoke..._ "NO!" she screamed out in horror, the realization that Celty might be dead tearing her heart to shreds, and not only because it meant that she would lose her chance of going to Valhalla. _I'm sorry Celty._ It had been a mistake to keep the Dullahan's head inside her apartment. The door to the van opened and Shizuo was thrown in as well, his clothes quickly getting stained by blood. Normally she would've reveled at the sight, but at that moment she was more worried about her own safety. Shizuo was in no condition to help her after using his body to shield her from the blast, which meant that she was now on her own. She glared at his unconscious form, at the same time trying to blink away the blood trickling into her eyes. _Idiot Shizu-chan, why would you do something like that?_ Her glare shifted to the three man who were inside the van with her. "Do I know you gentlemen?" she chirped, not wanting to show them weakness, her obsession with staying in control manifesting especially in such a serious situation. _Back then I was mocking Shizuo too,_ she realized, then decided that it was in her best interest to perhaps keep her mouth shut at least until she was brought before their boss.

She didn't have time to further dwell on that particular thought because something hit the van so hard that it rolled over a couple of times before coming to a complete stop, a myriad of new injuries being added to her not-so-old ones. Pain flared from her dislocated shoulder and she tried to breathe, the action alone making the pain a thousand times worse. She could feel tears prickling at her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She had cried once in front of Shizuo, and that was something she would never do again. She watched as two of the three men staggered out of the van to see what was happening and she heard a few cries of pain and the sounds of metal hitting bones before other people showed up and dragged her and Shizuo out of the totaled car and into another van. She cried out when her dislocated shoulder hit the hard surface and she couldn't stop a tear from falling down her cheek. "B-bastard, who are you?" she struggled to speak, hoping to get some answers.

"You know who we are."

Izaya instantly recognized the voice, eyes widening in disbelief at seeing Aozaki sit in the passenger's seat. "Ah, you're here for Ikebukuro's beast?" she asked, slightly amused at how she ended up being saved by the Awakusu-kai while they were trying to catch Shizuo. "Drop me at the first hospital on your way to wherever you're going if you don't mind, thanks."

"Actually," said Aozaki with a dangerous smirk on his face, "I'm here for the both of you. Did you think that you could mock the Awakusu-kai and get away with it?"

A scream slipped past her lips as she was violently grabbed and shoved against the back of the passenger's seat by one of his men, Aozaki's fingers violently curling into her now too long hair.

**_What?!_ **


	18. Show Me Your Resolution

Realizing that she was in danger, Izaya tried to reach her switchblade, but her still somewhat working arm was violently grabbed and twisted behind her back, her pockets then emptied by one of the Awakusu-kai members.

Aozaki tutted her. "I wouldn't try anything funny if I were you, unless you want to end up chocking on your own blood after we slit your throat and dump you to some remote place where no one will find your rotting corpse for a very long time."

Normally, she would've mocked Aozaki and even go out of her way to piss him off, because that was how she usually dealt with people who dared to threaten her, but given her situation and her past experience with Shizuo, she knew better than to provoke dangerous people into hurting her when she had no way of defending herself. "I see. In that case, I will wait until we get to wherever we're going to clear up the misunderstanding," she said in the calmest voice she could muster because she didn't want them to think that she was panicking, even though she kind of was.

"I'm glad to hear that we understand each other," he said in a cold voice, then turned to one of his underlings. "Cuff her."

"No! Wait, my shoulder is― argh!!!" she screamed out in pain when both her arms were twisted behind her back, her wrists then cuffed with no regard towards her dislocated shoulder. Tears streamed down her face as the agonizing pain spread throughout her body, another sharp piercing cry ripping from her throat when she was thrown away from Aozaki's seat and onto the floor of the van. She curled in on herself, trying her hardest to breathe after the air was knocked out of her lungs at the brutal treatment. She heard one of the men laughing at her and she barely restrained herself from kicking him in the face. She knew better than to push the Blue Demon of the Awakusu-kai. Her teary eyes drifted to Shizuo's unconscious form and she glared at him as though everything was his fault, and perhaps it was, because they were most likely assuming that she was with him after seeing them together. _Stupid Shizu-chan, just die,_ she screamed inside her head, her foot flying straight into Shizuo's side a couple of times before Aozaki's men hauled her to her knees and kept her like that, each grabbing one of her arms while completely ignoring her dislocated shoulder. "Can you just pop it back into place?" she asked through clenched teeth, sweat mixing with blood and rolling down the side of her face from how much effort she put into not screaming out in pain. She hoped that they would heed her request, but all she got in return was silence. "Hey, didn't you hear me?" she snapped.

"We heard you, but you didn't ask nicely enough, so we chose to ignore you instead," said Aozaki while his men simply laughed.

Grinding her teeth in frustration, she barely restrained herself from insulting Aozaki. She didn't want to beg them for any favors, but her shoulder was killing her, especially when the idiot holding her left arm kept jabbing her for his own sick amusement. "It's fine," she finally chirped, "I'll put it back into place myself the first chance I get."

Aozaki shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Izaya shot him a glare, but she was in too much pain to be able to think of an appropriate retort. Instead she lowered her eyes and looked at Shizuo again. He actually seemed less dangerous than the people who had them, and she was starting to hate herself for wishing that he would wake up and crush each and every one of the Awakusu-kai members. Orihara Izaya was not a damsel in distress who needed rescuing, but even she knew that there were some limits to what she could do. It wasn't that hard for her to either free herself from the cuffs or to pop her shoulder back into place, but to do either of them while she was both cuffed and her shoulder was dislocated seemed close to impossible, not to mention that there were two goons forcing her to kneel at their feet while they comfortably sat on the backseat. The van made a sudden left and Izaya whimpered in pain, the centrifugal force pushing her outwards while the idiot holding onto her left arm pulled her backwards none to gently. She cursed under her breath and bit into her lower lip, not wanting to further embarrass herself by screaming out in pain again.

The van came to a complete stop a couple of minutes later, Aozaki and the driver getting out while the two men in the back stayed behind. Izaya could hear the Blue Demon talking to someone but she couldn't make out the words. She wondered if they had reached their destination or if they were only making a quick stop, really hoping that it was the first because she didn't know how much longer she could stand being inside that van with those disgusting Awakusu-kai underlings ranting about stupid stuff while she was trying her hardest to not writhe in agony. She heard Shizuo moan in pain and her eyes darted in his direction, her body tensing in both hope and apprehension. She was not naive enough to believe that Shizuo would never hurt her again just because he had said so, and while he was indeed hurt, he was still a monster, and who knew how a beast like him would react once he realized that he was trapped. She gulped then, her eyes transfixed on his bloody face, waiting for the moment when those honey-colored eyes would open and the beast that was Heiwajima Shizuo would run rampant and destroy everyone and everything in his path, herself most likely included. She wouldn't go down without a fight though. The door to the van was suddenly opened and she jerked in surprise, further aggravating her already too many injuries.

"Here, inject him with this," said Aozaki and handed a syringe to one of his men before going back to the passenger seat.

Izaya watched as Shizuo opened confused eyes, and she felt her heart sink when the guy who until then was holding onto her right arm injected him with something strong enough to instantly knock him out. _There goes my chance of getting out of here,_ she thought dejectedly.

"All done, boss," said the man, then threw out the syringe before closing the door and going back to his spot next to their still conscious prisoner.

"Ok, let's go," Aozaki ordered the driver.

Izaya's eyes remained transfixed on Shizuo's unconscious form the rest of the way, and when they finally stopped after what felt like an eternity, she was taken out of the van and dragged inside a rundown building of some sorts, her heart sinking at the flashbacks she got after being taken to a place that reminded her so much of that traumatizing day. She didn't put up a fight though, because she knew it was useless in her condition, but she couldn't help but feel uneasy as she was paraded through the place, the Awakusu-kai members either laughing or mocking her as they passed by. It crossed her mind that perhaps this was the place where a lot of their illegal activities took place, and there really was no wonder that she was never able to find it before, because it didn't seem like it was anywhere near Tokyo. She looked over her shoulder and saw the men dragging an unconscious Shizuo not that far behind her, and she wondered what they were planning to do to him now that they finally had him. Dread surged through her when she saw the stairs leading to the basement and she started struggling. "Wait, wait, wait, I don't even understand why I'm here to begin with, so before you throw me in there, shouldn't I at least get a chance to clear my name?" The men ignored her and continued to drag her down the stairs before opening a heavy steel door and throwing her inside none too gently. Luckily she fell on her good shoulder, but before she could get up and try to fight her way out of there she saw two other men dumping Shizuo in there as well. "No! Get him out of here! Don't leave him here!" she shouted after them, but they ignored her, the iron door closing behind them with an ominous sound. Trembling, she got up and moved as far away as possible from the monster, not wanting to be near him when the beast woke up. It was the worst possible outcome, to be locked up together with Shizuo, and she couldn't help but feel terrified and dreading the moment when the stuff they injected him with wore out and he came back to his senses.

A crazy thought passed through her head and she froze for a few moments when she realized that she was even considering the possibility of killing him before he would wake up. It wasn't that hard to snuff the life out of him, even if she was tied up. She could easily break his neck with her foot, and then she would never have to worry about getting hurt by him again. Heiwajima Shizuo was not human to begin with, so she wouldn't betray her love for humanity by killing him. Then again she was nowhere near close to paying him back for his sin. There was also the possibility of getting out of there with his help. it pissed her off so much that she marched towards him and kicked him a few times just to get it out of her system. She wasn't one to enjoy inflicting physical pain, but she couldn't deny the satisfaction she felt each time her foot connected with Shizuo's bloody and broken body, and she wondered if this was perhaps how he felt that time in the warehouse when he beat her up before brutally raping her. She coudn't deny that it felt good to hurt the person she despised, and she hated how she ended up lowering herself to such an animalistic state, but her nerves were already fried, and all she wanted to do was to get out of there and find out what happened to Celty after the explosion. Her heart clenched at the thought of her having lost the apartment, and even though it was insured, there were still priceless objects that couldn't be replaced, like rare editions of books that she loved to read or her many phones and her important flash disks and files in which she held precious information. She screamed in frustration and hit Shizuo again, this time so hard that he ended up rolling on the ground until he was face down on the floor. "I HATE YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! JUST DIE ALREADY!"

"Hey, shut the fuck up in there," snapped a guy from somewhere up the stairs.

Izaya snarled but backed away, trying to figure out a way to put back her dislocated shoulder, but she didn't have time to dwell on it because Aozaki and two of his men decided to pay her a visit. She backed away into a corner, the chains and wires they were holding making her worry about what they were planning to do.

"Relax, Orihara-san, these are not for you. We're not worried about you right now," Aozaki mocked her just to piss her off.

"Uncuff me and I'll show you just how worried you should be," Izaya snarled, completely offended by his remark. Just because she was injured it didn't mean that she was weak. _And yet, why am I not making a dash for the door,_ she wondered in confusion, but then she realized that there had to be other options besides fighting her way out of there. That was the brute's way of dealing with things, not hers. "Whatever you think I did, I didn't do it. I have nothing to do with him. He was the one who came looking for me, then he followed me up to my apartment," she said, then waited for a reply which never came, because the three men were too busy chaining up Shizuo and using wires in a way that she had never seen before. It was only when they were done that Aozaki seemed to remember that she was there.

"Orihara-san, we'll talk more later," Aozaki said as he approached her, barely holding in a laughter at the way she seemed to further shrink into the corner, "but until then, how about I take care of you, hmm? Turn around."

"I'm fine, really," she said, her voice shaking a bit, unsure of what Aozaki meant when he said that he'd take care of her, his dangerous smile making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

Once in front of her, Aozaki stopped. "I see. If you don't want me to pop that arm back into its socket then there's nothing else for me to do here, so I'll take my leave now," he said and turned around, then smirked when she called out his name. "Yes, what is it?"

Izaya almost bit her tongue in frustration at having to ask him nicely. "Can you please help me before you go? Thank you."

"See? That wasn't so hard." He saw the way she glared at him and his smirk widened. "Turn around so I can uncuff you."

Izaya reluctantly did as she was told, completely hating how she had no choice but to play by his rules. She wanted nothing more than to sink her switchblade into his heart, but she didn't have her blade anymore, and the building was crawling with Awakusu-kai underlings, which meant that she was stuck there. She tried to stay calm as Aozaki took off the cuffs and then grabbed he arm, a shiver running down her spine the moment his cold hands touched the back of her neck.

"Ready?"

She nodded, then she only felt pain for a moment before her bones snapped back into place with a sickening crunch. She rotated her arm a few times to see if it was working properly, not missing the way Aozaki followed her every move as though he was expecting her to attack him. She smirked. _So he doesn't think I'm that harmless after all._

"I'll be back later." Keeping her eyes on her, he backed away, then turned around and left, his men closing the door behind them.

Izaya allowed her body to slide down the wall, too sick and tired of everything around her going to hell. She stayed like that, staring into the semi-darkness of the basement for a long time until she heard a moan coming from Shizuo. She jerked in surprise, as though she had forgotten he was even there to begin with, her eyes immediately falling on his twitching form. Hugging her knees closer to her chest, she watched with worry how he slowly woke up, honey-colored eyes roaming around the place in confusion until finally falling on her form.

"Iza-ya?" he asked brokenly, his memories of the day a blur. "W-what's going on? Where are we?"

She chuckled darkly but didn't say anything, and instead watched him as he tried to free himself from the bindings, the wires digging first into his skin and then his muscles until he finally figured that he couldn't free himself least he wanted to get sliced to the bone by the wires strategically placed around his limbs and neck. "What the fuck?" he snarled in annoyance, panting heavily. "Izaya!"

She sighed, his annoying voice and pained grunts grating on her nerves. "Is there something you want? Because if all you seek are the answers to your questions, then I am sorry to say that I have none."

He rapidly blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the blurriness in his eyes. "Are you ok?" he finally asked, not liking the way she was curled up into a ball in the corner. He heard her chuckle and his brows furrowed in confusion. "Izaya?"

"Oh, I'm fine Shizu-chan, just peachy," she chirped, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "My apartment got blown to smithereens, most likely because of you, but that's ok, because I should've expected that one of these days you'd destroy more than just my body."

He stared at her in shock for a few moments, surprised that she would admit to being hurt so badly by him. He was guilty of a lot of sins when it came to her, but he wasn't the one who had destroyed her home. "I didn't blow up your apartment, I swear!"

"I know, I know, you're not that smart, or brave, you're only just a rapist after all."

He winced at her words, his head lowering in shame. "Yeah... I am..."

"Oh, wait, wait, did I hear that right? Did Shizu-chan just admit to being a rapist? Ahh ha ha ha ha! I never thought I'd hear you own up to it. If I remember correctly, you said something along the lines of me overreacting over just some rough sex."

"I'm sorry..."'

"And then you had the nerve to say that I was being a drama-queen for struggling and trying to get away after you brutally raped me twice and wanted to go for a third time," she said, her voice dripping venom.

He jerked in surprise as though she had just repeatedly stabbed him in the heart with one of her blades with every word that came out of her mouth, the wires painfully digging into his already sore body. "I was wrong, I didn't know―"

"You didn't know what, hmm? That I was not the whore that I was rumored to be? Why would me being the town's slut make you believe that it was all right to rape me? I would really like to know how your protozoic brain justifies it." Stretching her legs, she folded her arms in front of her and glared at him with all the hate she could muster. "This should be entertaining. Please do explain."

Shizuo cringed, not knowing how to reply to that. He could hardly understand why he did it in the first place, so to explain what drove him that day was close to impossible. He remembered being really turned on, and then getting extremely angry because of her. _Shit, what the hell does she want from me?_ "I didn't think―"

"Of course you didn't, because thinking requires that you use your brain, and that's asking too much of you," she said in a mocking tone, enjoying the way he was shifting in embarrassment as much as his bindings allowed it. "Try it though. Who knows, maybe those rusty wheels in there will start moving if you keep at it."

"Will you stop it already?" he snapped, sick and tired of her insulting his intelligence. "I know that I'm not the smartest person around, but that's exactly the kind of stuff that makes me wanna wring your neck until it breaks. Why is it so hard to have a normal conversation with you?"

"Because you raped me, you sick fuck!"

"I KNOW, all right? And there's nothing I can do to change that now! I didn't think that it would be such a big deal if you were whoring yourself to every guy out there for information. How was I supposed to know that you were a freakin' virgin?? It's not like it was written on your forehead!"

"You should've felt it you bastard! But no, you just had to bully your way inside me like the monster that you are!"

"How am I supposed to notice stuff like that when I can lift a freakin' car?? It took everything I had to not break your bones, or worse, kill you!"

She opened her mouth to say something but then she snapped it shut. It really was a miracle that she survived the assault. Even so, it didn't mean much to her, not after what she had been forced to go through. "Well, I don't know..." she said and rolled her eyes, "keeping it in your pants would've helped."

He tensed at her words, the wires cutting his skin in a few places. "I know, I know, I fucking know that! Ok? I'm sorry..."

Izaya burst into laughter at that. "Stupid Shizu-chan, thinking that saying sorry will fix everything..."

"That's not―"

"That's exactly what you were hoping for," she said, then got up and walked over to where he was chained down with his back against the wall. It was strange to see the beast immobilized, and she figured that the Awakusu-kai must've planned his capture for a while if they came up with such an interesting way of keeping him captive. Their eyes met and he lowered his head, ashamed, and that surprised her, because she couldn't get used to Shizuo not being a complete asshole to her. She bent down, grabbed his jaw, and forced him to look her in the eyes. "Don't run Shizu-chan, you can never run away from this."

He swallowed the lump in his throat and stared into her malicious yet hurt crimson eyes, the intensity of the hate she bore for him making him want to shrink back into himself. Her nails painfully sank into the skin of his face and he winced, surprised that she let her nails grow. He smiled without thinking, and that seemed to make her angry because she snapped at him.

"What's so funny, hmm?"

"Long hair and nails suit you better," he said, his smile turning brittle at the thought that he would never again be able to touch her the way he wanted.

She couldn't hide her shock at hearing his words, and she snapped her hand back as though she'd just been burned. "What..."

"I'm sorry about everything. I'd do anything to make it up to you, but I don't know how," he said in a low, defeated voice.

"Would you die for me?"

He smiled bitterly, expecting such a request from her. "Would killing me with your own hands make you happy?"

A shiver ran down her spine at the question and she dropped to her knees next to him. "Yes," she answered, her voice trembling a bit.

"Then do it," he said, smirking, challenging her to end his life. "Do it, I can't fight back. I'm helpless, just like you were back then when I cut your clothes to shreds with your own blade and then forced myself onto you. Do it! DO IT!"

She raised trembling hands and wrapped them around his neck, her eyes fixed on his bloody face as she started to squeeze tighter and tighter, his crazed smirk throwing her off. _Why, Shizu-chan, why?_


	19. Raven Claws

Shizuo stared into her eyes as she was trying to crush his windpipe, her thumbs increasing the pressure until he was having a hard time breathing, but it still wasn't enough to kill him, so either she was not trying hard enough, or she simply lacked the necessary physical strength that was required to choke a person to death. He doubted that it had anything to do with her being a woman, or with him being a monster, so it was only logical for her to have been injured in the explosion too, and it was a miracle that she could still stand or even walk around after the violent way in which she'd been thrown into the wall of her apartment building. Unwillingly, his eyes drew to her rosy lips, and he was filled with regret at not having kissed them back then, even though he knew that what he did was already bad enough, and the last thing Izaya needed was for him to steal a kiss too. He had to be sick to even want it, but he couldn't help himself, because Izaya was like poison, insidiously making its way through his body, and by the time he realized that he'd been infected, it was already too late. Her existence was contagious, and he hated her for it, because she always managed to draw out the worst in him. What he needed was a woman who could keep him calm, not an insect he wanted to squash with all his might. He felt her grip falter for a moment, and when their eyes met again it was only for a moment before she withdrew her hand and whipped it across his face, craning his head to the side, the cracking sound of skin hitting skin echoing off the basement walls. The slap wounded his heart more than anything else, and he blinked in surprise before rotating his head back to its initial position, her furious expression almost making him flinch.

"How **dare** you look at me like that after what you've done... like... like you're yearning for me?" she ground out the words in a tone expressing all the abhorrence she held for him, before she raised her hand and curled her fingers into the now black locks of the man she wanted to obliterate, her whole body shaking in outrage. "Answer me!" she demanded as she harshly tugged at his hair, a pained grunt being her only reward instead of the answer she requested. "At least tell me why you did it!"

Shizuo gazed into her wounded eyes, a maelstrom of emotions stirring inside his chest after hearing the way she earnestly beseeched him for an answer. "I don't know..." he said in a strained voice. "I just wanted to..." he tried, then stopped for a few moments to gather his thoughts before continuing. "At first, I wanted to break you, but then... when I saw you lay there bare before me, a part of me just **wanted** you," he said and felt her grip in his hair tighten. "You were so beautiful... you **are** beautiful," he added, his voice cracking towards the end, the pain in his chest intensifying to the point that he was having a hard time breathing, smothered by the guilt he felt for what he had done to the woman before him.

"W-what?!" she squeaked in surprise, Shinra's words about Shizuo liking her coming back to mind. _It can't be!_ she kept screaming inside her head, because she refused to admit that someone who liked her would do such a terrible thing to her. Untangling her fingers from the bloody hair, she moved her hand lower until she was stroking the previously slapped cheek. "Does Shizu-chan like me?" she asked in a flat tone.

He opened his mouth and closed it a few times before finally finding the courage to admit it. "Y-yeah," he said in a trembling voice, eyes widening in surprise when she moved closer before he closed them and nuzzled into her palm, her hot breath caressing the skin of his ear.

"You will never have me again," she said in an almost emotionless tone and felt the beast's jaw tense underneath her fingers. "You never did," she added, then sank her nails into his skin and dragged them across his cheek, his surprised pained cry bringing her immeasurable satisfaction. She slowly drew her head back and gazed at the five red gashes marring his face and neck, his stiff jaw and ragged breath telling her that he was in pain. The corners of her lips quirked upwards into a malevolent smile, his confused honey-colored eyes a sign that he was emotionally hurt by her vicious attack. "I thought you liked my long nails," she said and wiped her bloody fingers on a part of his t-shirt that was not stained by blood.

"Satisfied?" he grumbled, the cuts on his cheek stinging a lot more than he wanted to admit.

"Far from it," she answered just before she got up and started pacing around, arms tightly folded in front of her chest, trying her hardest to not give in to the temptation of physically torturing the man, because even though she knew that nothing could stop her from doing it while he was restrained, it was not a good idea to further damage his monstrous body when they were both trapped with no way out.

"Then why did you stop? Go on, kill me, continue from where you left off. I know you want to hurt me. Come on, flea, show me your resolution in destroying me, or are you still afraid of me? Do you think that I will break free and rape you? Is that it?" he kept goading her on, hoping that she'd hurt him until she'd calm down. He knew better than anyone that sometimes people needed to blow off some steam, even though, in his case, it was the worst thing he could've done that day when he dragged her to that warehouse with the intention to break her.

Izaya glared daggers at him, the idiotic protozoan making it harder for her to stay calm when that was exactly what she needed to do in order to find a way out of there. "Don't delude yourself into thinking that I couldn't kill you," she said and chuckled darkly. Turning towards him, she headed in his direction, not stopping until she was standing beside his legs. "I could and would **enjoy** killing you, because you're just a monster, but I prefer to first get out of here before doing so," she added and then viciously stomped on his crotch area, his anguished shrill bringing a sadistic smile to her face.

"S-STOP!" he begged in a high-pitched voice, not even caring that he was embarrassing himself, her cruel torture almost bringing tears to his eyes. "P-Please... uggh... s-stop!" he pleaded again, but received no mercy. He was used to getting hit, stabbed or cut, but that area of his body was not as monstrous as the rest of him when it came to handling pain.

Izaya giggled and finally removed her foot, thoroughly enjoying his pain. "Aww, come now, Shizu-chan, it couldn't have been more painful that what you did to me."

"I d-don't know a-about t-that," he said through clenched teeth, trembling, wanting to curl in on himself but being unable to do so because of the way he was restrained. "H-Hurts..." he whined, his jaw aching from how hard he was grinding his teeth together.

"Serves you right," she said maliciously before she walked away and sat down in the corner, feeling exhausted. She thought she heard Shizuo say something, but she stopped listening to him, now focused on trying to find a way to escape. There were no windows, the only way out being through the door, which meant that she'd have to leave through there. She knew that Shizuo was injured, but she had no doubts that the brute could break through the door if it came down to it. The problem was that she didn't have her switchblade to cut the wires going around his body, nor anything else inside that basement that could be used to accomplish the task. Basically, she was stuck there, unless she could somehow acquire a weapon from one of her captors and use it to free Shizuo. She wasn't worried about the chains, because she had no doubts that the brute could easily break them. She spared him a glance and smiled cruelly, his expression telling her that he was still in pain. _Perhaps I should've gone easier on him,_ she thought, because Shizuo would be useless to her if he couldn't walk.

"Hey, Iza―" Shizuo started but never got to finish, his head snapping towards the door, the sound of the lock clicking and the door opening distracting him from whatever he wanted to tell her.

"Don't say anything!" she told him and got to her feet, her red eyes boring holes into Aozaki the moment he stepped inside, holding a bag in his righ hand.

"Orihara-san, Shizuo-kun, I see you're both still alive and well! In that case, I suggest we go straight to the subject," he said, smirking, enjoying the sight of a tied up and bleeding Ikebukuro beast.

Izaya gave him an annoyed sigh and folded her arms in front of her chest. "It was about time. I understand why he's here," she said and pointed at Shizuo, "but why am **_I_ ** here?"

"Come now, Orihara-san, you know very well why you're here... why you're both here," Aozaki said and shot her a glare, his smirk gone and replaced by a sneer.

"I'm telling you, I don't!" said Izaya, exasperated, barely restraining herself from marching over to where he was standing and punching him in the face. She wasn't one to usually throw punches around, but some people, like Aozaki, really deserved it. She heard him chuckle darkly and she stared in confusion, wondering what the hell was so funny.

"Do you know what's in here?" he said and dangled the bag in his hand. "Hmm? Anyone? Perhaps Shizuo-kun knows?"

"Shut up!" Izaya ordered when he saw Shizuo opening his mouth to say something.

"Ah, I see, so Orihara-san has Shizuo-kun whipped. Makes sense," said Aozaki, smirking.

Izaya's eyes narrowed into slits, suddenly pissed off at him for implying that there was anything going on between her and the brute. "Please don't insult me, I'm not into bestiality," she sneered the words, Shizuo's sound of protest almost bringing a sadistic smile to her face.

Aozaki ignored her and turned his attention to the tied up man. "Shizuo-kun, I found these in your apartment," he said just as he pulled out the contents of the bag.

Shizuo's eyes widened, a feeling of dread spreading throughout his body.

"You do recognize these, don't you?" the Awakusu-kai Executive said and dropped the female clothes he found inside the man's apartment. "This too, right?" he continued and pulled out a switchblade from his pocket. "I found this on the bathroom sink."

Shizuo turned his head towards Izaya and nearly recoiled at the fury in her eyes before turning his attention back to Aozaki. "That's not―"

"Shut up, stupid beast!" she snapped at Shizuo and then glared at Aozaki. "There is nothing between me and that **thing** over there," she said and pointed at Shizuo.

"This is your switchblade, is it not?"

"Yes it is."

"Then why does he have your switchblade and your clothes? Your... extremely sexy clothes might I add, if you two are not together?" asked Aozaki while playing with the switchblade.

Izaya clenched her fists tighter, teeth grinding hard against each other. It was the protozoan's fault that she ended up getting captured with him. The best thing she could do was to try to convince them that she was not with him and hope that she would be released. "Ah, I remember now. A few months ago, Shizu-chan and I got into a fight, and he felt bad for what he did so he took me to his apartment to take care of me. I was wearing that because I was posing as a high school student to get information from a rich guy's mistress who was a student there," she chirped, trying to make it sound as believable as possible. "Shizu-chan might be a monster, but he couldn't let me die in the street, because, as it turns out, he's actually a gentleman, believe it or not."

Shizuo tried not to cringe as she told the fake story, and hoped that the Awakusu-kai believed her because he didn't want them to somehow find out what actually happened between them. It was bad enough that his closest friends and even his brother knew just what kind of monster he really was.

Aozaki laughed at her explanation, and then turned towards Shizuo. "Is that what happened?"

"That's exactly what happened," Shizuo said in the most serious tone he could muster.

"Sure it is," said Aozaki and turned around. "I'll be back once you decide to tell me the truth. Ah, but I warn you, the longer you take, the worse it will get for you."

"WAIT!" Izaya shouted, but it was too late, Aozaki already closing the door behind him.

"What are we gonna do?" asked Shizuo the moment they were alone again. "And why would it be any of his business if we were together?"

Izaya laughed bitterly and allowed her body to slide down the wall, feeling completely exhausted. She didn't feel like explaining anything to the beast, but it was better to keep him informed of whatever she knew so that he wouldn't accidentally mention more than was necessary in case he was interrogated. "They think you killed those Awakusu-kai guys, and because we're presumably together, they think I had something to do with it. Stupid people, ne?"

"Do you know who killed those people?"

"Yes, I know, but you don't need to. When Aozaki comes back I will tell him everything I know, including the fact that you didn't kill them. Tell him I set you up, but not why I did it. Got it?"

"Yeah, got it," he said and wished that he could move because it was starting to get damn uncomfortable sitting on his ass for so long, not to mention that his most sensitive region still was hurting like hell after Izaya's merciless treatment. "Hey, don't you have your switchblade with you?"

Izaya laughed darkly. "Lucky for you, I don't, otherwise I might've killed you by now."

"Tch! I told you to go ahead, I'm not stopping you."

"Cut the macho crap, Shizu-chan, it's starting to annoy me."

"That's not wha―"

"I've never known you to be suicidal. Admit it, you don't really want to die," she said, lips set into a malicious smirk. "Ah, but I now know what you want. How stupid must you be to fall for me, hmm?"

"Pretty stupid," was Shizuo's bitter answer. Izaya asked him some other questions after that, but he was not in the mood to talk, so he kept quiet, because she was right, it was pretty stupid of him to fall for her. She was a bitch and a terrible human being who ruined people's lives just for her own sick pleasure, so for him to want such a woman made no sense, unless he was a masochist or something. Izaya would laugh while she destroyed him, never giving a damn about his feelings, because she was not human, neither of them were. They were monsters, so it only made sense they would try to ruin each other, because monsters always destroy everything around them, their own kind included. Feeling completely exhausted, he closed his eyes and stayed like that until he finally fell asleep.

Izaya watched him out of the corner of her eyes, a bit annoyed that he was ignoring her, but at the same time it was good that he was trying to get some rest, because she would need him if she couldn't get out of there by herself. She hugged her knees and curled into a ball, the coldness of the basement getting to her. She was angry at Aozaki for leaving without even giving her a chance to explain the whole situation, the bastard being hung up on why were her clothes at Shizuo's apartment. It made sense they'd be there, her switchblade as well, because the bastard took her weapon that day after slicing her clothes with it, and then took her to his home wearing that slutty outfit the bastard Shinra bought for Celty to wear. She closed her eyes and tried to get some rest too, her body aching badly after being violently thrown into a wall by the explosion over at her apartment. If Shizuo knew that she most likely got Celty killed, he would surely murder her in the slowest and cruelest way possible. She shuddered at the images her brain came up with and curled in tighter, wishing that she could get away from there so that she could run straight to Shinra's place and see if the Dullahan was still alive. She had no idea how long she stayed like that in the corner, trying to get warm, but when she heard the lock, she jumped to her feet, her mind set on straightening things once and for all.

"Ready to talk now?" asked Aozaki as he sauntered inside.

Shizuo awoke with a start, too tired to hear the door when it opened, but not tired enough to not recognize that annoying voice. He growled, now thoroughly annoyed. "I didn't kill those men, so untie these fucking chains or wires before I really get pissed off."

Izaya rolled her eyes, the brute's empty threats sounding rather pathetic. She turned her attention back to Aozaki, ready to tell him everything she knew. "Ok, here's the story. Shiki-san asked me to find the man behind the group distributing Heaven's Slave, but I haven't been able to identify him so far. Those Awakusu-kai members that ended up dead were actually spies from that group, and when I found out, they tried to cover their tracks by killing them. I merely took advantage of the situation and told Shizuo to meet me there so that he would take the blame for it, because that's what I do, I screw up his life."

Shizuo nodded. "Those men were dead by the time I got there."

"That explains everything," said Aozaki mockingly. "Got any proof to back up your words?"

"Yes, I have the files on my lap―" she started, then suddenly stopped when she remembered that her apartment and everything in it had been blown to smithereens. "I had the files."

"How convenient," mocked Aozaki and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, hand tightening around the switchblade he took from Shizuo's apartment. "Here's what we're gonna do. You're going to tell me who is distributing Heaven's Slave, because I know that you're working with him, or her, and if you do, I might just let you live. If you refuse to cooperate, it won't end well for you."

"I don't know who is behind that group!" Izaya snapped.

"I called some of my old friends and they'll be here tomorrow. I'm sure you remember them, Shizuo-kun, you met them many years ago when you beat up everyone inside that bakery. You see, they want to return the favor, and I'm more then willing to give them the chance to do so."

"Bring it on, bastard!" snarled Shizuo, fuming. He still remembered those pathetic human beings who terrorized others for money.

"You on the other side, will most likely not be so lucky as to get beaten to death," continued Aozaki after turning his attention back to Izaya.

"What are you saying?" she asked, eyes narrowing as she glared at him.

Aozaki smiled cruelly. "What I'm saying is that you're gonna die if you don't tell me what I want to know. How you will die however, is not up to me. You see, my men are bored, so I'm going to let them do the honors. I can't guarantee a quick death though... Anyway, I'll see you two tomorrow. Enjoy your night together, it might be your last after all," he said and walked out laughing.

"I'm going to fucking kill him," Shizuo growled out the words and tried to free himself again, a strangled cry slipping past his lips when the wires started slicing his skin and then the muscles.

Izaya shuddered and curled into a tight ball, Aozaki's words making the hairs on the back of her neck stand.

"Just tell him that guy's name," tried Shizuo, hoping that Izaya would listen to him for once. "You're not me, you won't survive a beating."

Izaya burst into hysterical laughter. "Shizu-chan is so **stupid** ," she said in a strangled voice.

"Huh...?"

"Nothing, Shizu-chan, nothing at all. You really are a proto―" she started, then suddenly stopped when she heard the lock clicking and then the door opening. "Shiki-san!" she gasped in surprise when she saw the man.

"Orihara-san, Heiwajima-san. I see that you've gotten yourselves in quite the terrible situation."

"We have nothing to do with the deaths of those Awakusu-kai!" Izaya rushed to tell him, hating how desperate she sounded. "The group behind Heaven's Slave killed them after I found out they were spying on the Awakusu-kai for them. I don't know who runs that group, I haven't been able to find out yet, but I believe they are the ones who blew up my apartment."

"This is not how it works. If you want out of here, you are going to tell me everything, including why this switchblade here was at Heiwajima-san's house," Shiki said and pulled out the weapon from his pocket before dangling it between his fingers. "I know you two better than anyone, and there is no way that he would help you out, so what I'm saying is that I'm not buying your story. Tell me the truth, and I do mean the whole truth, and I might consider helping you escape."

"I'll tell you everything," said Izaya and leaned against the wall. "Just get us out of here."

Shiki smiled. "Of course."


	20. Do Or Die

Shizuo struggled to keep inside the growl that threatened to slip past his dry lips. She had every right to tell anyone whatever she wanted, but that didn't mean he would be happy about it if she did. He felt his face burn with shame as he remembered that day, and he raised his head and gave her the most pitiful look he could muster in the hope that she would not tell Shiki what he did to her.

Izaya chuckled darkly and threw him a nasty glare. "It's none of your business whether I tell him or not, so don't look at me like that, you stupid protozoan! Just because you helped me back then, it doesn't mean I owe you one."

Shizuo opened and closed his mouth a few times, thoroughly confused about what the hell she was talking about.

"The truth is that Shizu-chan and I had a fight that day," she said as she turned her attention back to Shiki. "I was badly injured." She sighed dramatically. "I really thought I was going to die, you know? Shizu-chan is savage like that. I'm surprised that none of my bones got broken whilst he punched and kicked me around." Shiki seemed to be a bit annoyed by the revelation, which was funny, because she didn't think that he'd care at all, so it was rather amusing to see the Awakusu-kai Executive glare at the stupid, tied-up protozoan."

"I admit that she can be quite annoying," Shiki said as he pushed the switchblade back into the pocket of his pants, "but it sounds like you overdid it."

Shizuo nodded but otherwise kept quiet.

"I don't believe that he'd take you home after injuring you, if that's what you're trying to convince me of."

Izaya pushed herself away from the wall and started pacing the room. The only way to get out of it was to mix some truth into the lies, so she proceeded to do just that. "No, there's more. I managed to escape him, but unfortunately, I ran into a group of men," she said and stopped in her tracks. "I was too weak, so I couldn't fight back efficiently. They tried to rape me, but Shizu-chan showed up and saved me. He took me to his place because he didn't know where I lived. That's what happened."

Shiki's eyes softened a bit and he looked at her with pity. "That's only half of the truth, isn't it?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?" Izaya asked nonchalantly.

"He got too late, didn't he?" Shiki said and stared at Shizuo for a bit before his eyes fell on her tense form.

Izaya folded her arms in front of her chest in an attempt to hide the tremors in her hands. "No, he got there in time."

"No, he didn't, because if he had," he said and pointed at Shizuo, "you wouldn't have been so terrified of me that time when I banged your head against the desk."

Shizuo unwillingly growled, and Izaya glared at him as though she wanted to gut him right there and then. He fought to not shrink back from her gaze, because even though she was small when compared to him, he knew better than to underestimate her. He was aware of the fact that he was being a hypocrite for getting angry at Shiki, because Izaya wasn't his to defend, and he had no right to be protective of her when he had been the one to hurt her more than anyone ever did, but he trusted her to succeed in convincing Shiki to get her out of there. He doubted that she'd help him escape as well, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was the last time he'd ever see her.

Izaya took a deep breath and hoped that her voice wouldn't tremble. "Shiki-san, I'm telling you, nothing happened. I was startled by your outburst back then, and you can't blame me, considering how it happened so soon after I was nearly gang-raped."

Shiki watched them in silence for a few moments before he sighed loudly and lit up a cigarette. "No, I'm sure that you were, because you had tears in your eyes back then, I clearly remember. Besides, it'd make sense for him to help you in such a case," he said and pointed at Shizuo, "because most men wouldn't be able to walk away after witnessing something like that. No matter how much he hates you, he'd still help you."

"Nothing happened!" she snapped, her whole body trembling in both disgust and indignation. It was one thing to get raped but Ikebukuro's beast, and another thing entirely to get assaulted by her humans. She almost felt offended that he'd think so lowly of her. "Those... **humans** didn't do anything!" She was so tense that her jaw ached from how hard she was gritting her teeth together, and she was starting to wonder if her arms would end up bleeding if she were to keep digging her nails into the skin as hard as she was.

"Fine. In that case, I think I'll go now."

Izaya watched in disbelief as Shiki turned around and started walking towards the door. "Stop," she said weakly, her pale skin turning even paler. If Shiki left her there, death wouldn't be the only thing she'd have to worry about.

" **Wait!** " Shizuo said in a rough, commanding tone, and then continued when he seemed to get the Awakusu-kai Executive's attention. "You're just going to leave her here?"

"I said I'll get her out if she tells me the truth, and guess what? She isn't."

"You know what will happen to her if you leave her here!"

"So you're asking me to risk my life for a person who can't even be honest?"

Shizuo couldn't say 'yes,' because he had a feeling that Izaya had probably screwed the man over before, so he couldn't blame him if he decided to leave her to die in the filthy basement they were trapped in. He still had to try though. "Please get her out of here. No matter what she did to upset you, she still doesn't deserve to die for it."

"Nor do I," said Shiki as he pressed the heavy iron handle, not expecting Izaya to come rushing towards him. He expertly dodged the fist aimed for his head, grabbed her arm, and then pushed her away so roughly that she fell on the ground. His eyes narrowed into slits and he glared at her, now thoroughly pissed about the whole situation. He was risking a lot just by being there, yet the ungrateful woman not only refused to tell him the truth, but also had the audacity to attack him.

Izaya struggled a bit to get up, her weak body unable to provide the agility she was used to possessing. Shiki was upon her before she was even standing, and when she tried to fight him off, he grabbed her neck and slammed her into the wall.

 **"Let her go,"** Shizuo warned, his body shaking in uncontrolled rage.

Shiki ignored him and kept squeezing her neck. "That wasn't very nice of you."

Izaya gave him the nastiest glare she could muster, letting all the hate and anger she felt for the man seep into her voice as she struggled to speak while getting her throat crushed. "W-Why do y-you care w-what happened?"

"The answer is quite simple. I'd have to feel a lot of pity to risk my life for an ungrateful woman such as yourself," Shiki said and only squeezed tighter.

Shizuo fought to free himself, not even realizing how badly he was slicing himself up, Izaya's struggles only spurring him forward. **"LET HER GO, BASTARD!"**  he roared, but Shiki wasn't listening to him, the man only squeezing that frail neck tighter and tighter. It made him furious to witness such a thing, especially when she was so small compared to Shiki. Ironically, he had done much worse to her, and the thought nearly made him forget how to breathe for a moment. Before he even knew what he was saying, the words flew right out of his mouth. "I DID IT. I'M THE ONE WHO RAPED HER. NOW LET HER GO!" He kept trying to free himself, unable to stop his struggles even though he knew it was impossible, until Shiki let her go and Izaya slid down the wall, wheezing a bit. He felt some of the rage disappear, but it was still there, ever-present, ready to rear its ugly head at a moment's notice. Shiki's eyes almost glowed in the dim light of the basement as he made his way towards him, and before Shizuo could say anything, the man kicked him so viciously that his head snapped to the side, hitting the wall behind him and making his vision go dark for a second.

Shiki dropped the cigarette and stomped on it, all the while watching with disgust the man before him. "That's what I thought," he said, and he didn't miss both Izaya and Shizuo's gasps of surprise. "I was waiting for you to admit it."

"How...?" Izaya asked weakly as she struggled to get back on her feet, at the same time fighting against the tears that threatened to fall down the corners of her eyes. For some reason, the thought of Shiki knowing what happened to her was a thousand times more humiliating than when Shinra, Celty or even Kasuka found out. Shiki was someone she worked with, so for such a man to know that she was so weak as to get raped by her most hated enemy was a huge blow to her ego. Their eyes met, and surprisingly, Shiki didn't look at her with contempt. Instead, it was more like the man honestly thought she hadn't deserved it. It wasn't just pity he was seeing, but anger, and for once, that fury was not directed at her.

"I'm going to get you out of here," he reassured her before he turned to Shizuo. "Him, I'm not so sure..."

Izaya kept her mouth shut, a battle going on inside her mind. A part of her wanted to take Shizuo with her, because she didn't think he had suffered enough, while another part was pleading with her to leave him there to rot. She didn't think that Shizuo lied when he told her he liked her, which meant that the idiot would most likely not have the heart to hurt her again, and if that was the case, then no matter how hard she'd stomp on said monstrous heart, he wouldn't fight back. "I'm not done punishing him," she finally said and watched Shiki nod.

"You're going to spend the rest of your miserable life making it up to her," Shiki said and pulled out the switchblade.

Still trying to recover from the vicious blow to his already injured head, Shizuo's only word was a none too smartly, "huh...?"

Shiki raised his foot and savagely drove it into the other man's chest, the surprised, pained gasp making him smile. He wasn't particularly sadistic, but there were some things that even he couldn't stand, and another man doing such a thing to a woman was one of them. "Death would be too easy for you, so I'll allow you to live the rest of your wretched life groveling for forgiveness. If you touch another hair on her head, I will make sure that your corpse will never be recovered."

Shizuo was too stunned to answer, so instead he simply nodded and watched Shiki walk back to Izaya and hand her the switchblade. Shiki kept explaining something to her, but he was too shocked about what happened to be able to concentrate on making out their whispered words. Izaya would most likely despise him for telling the Awakusu-kai Executive what he'd done to her, but on the bright side, the man would help her get out of there, and if what it took was to reveal his shameful sin, then so be it. After a while, the man left and Izaya slowly approached him, anger evident in her eyes.

"I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut," she said, still pissed off at him for revealing something like that. "Shizu-chan always does things without thinking."

"You'll be getting out of here, and that's good enough for me."

Izaya sneered and pocketed the switchblade, still not ready to cut the beast loose. She didn't think he would try to hurt her, but she had to admit that it was satisfying to see him in pain. The corners of her lips quirked upwards into a smirk and she slowly approached him until she was standing right beside him, enjoying the sight of him craning his head upwards to see what she'd do next. She raised one foot and stepped over his legs, finding his confused look to be highly amusing.

"What are you―" he started, but the words got caught in his throat when Izaya sat down on his lap, the close contact making him want to retreat further into the wall. He opened his mouth to protest, but all that came out was a rather pathetic whimper when she moved close enough for their noses to almost touch.

"I thought you liked me, Shizu-chan, or was that a lie?"

Shizuo tried to swallow the lump in his throat but failed miserably, her adorable pout making him want to close the remaining distance between their mouths and hungrily kiss those bloody lips.

"Kiss me," she whispered, and then ran her fingers through his hair.

He gaped at her, but he knew there had to be a catch, so he shook his head, hoping that she'd get up before something of his would get up as well. No matter how injured he was, he was still attracted to her, and to have her sitting on his lap and almost beg him to kiss her certainly didn't help his cause.

"Come now, Shizu-chan, you were staring at my lips earlier, so I know you want it. I'm going to leave you here to die," she said and gently brushed the back of her hand across his scratched cheek, "so why not get that kiss before your life ends?"

He gulped as he gazed at those lips for a long time, the temptation to kiss them almost making him whimper like a pathetic puppy. He badly wanted it, but he still slowly shook his head and smiled sadly at her. "I appreciate your kindness, but I don't deserve it." She sniggered and his brows furrowed in confusion, the suppressed sounds quickly turning into full-fledged laughter.

"Ahh ha ha ha! You never do what I expect you to do," she said and gently pressed the switchblade's tip into the skin of his chest, just where his heart lay.

His eyes widened in surprise when he felt the sting, only then realizing that Izaya had taken the weapon out of her pocket. It was one thing to assume that he would die, and another one entirely to be certain of it. His eyes drifted from the switchblade to her face, and he couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine when he saw her wild expression.

Izaya pushed the blade harder into the bloody flesh, but not deep enough to kill him or even injure him too much. "I want to kill you so badly right now," she confessed, her hand quivering from how hard she was struggling to not sink the entirety of the blade into the monster's chest. "I **was** going to kill you, because I was sure that you would give into the temptation and try to kiss me, and that would've been your death sentence." She took a deep breath and forced herself to pull back the switchblade. "But you didn't, so I'm going to allow you to live for a while longer."

"In that case, can you please get up? I'm not sure how much longer I can control my body's reactions," he said in a high-pitched voice, heat quickly starting to pool into his groin area.

"What...?" she dumbly asked, and then jumped to her feet when she realized what he was talking about.

He almost laughed at her mortified expression, but he didn't want her to get mad, so he tried to keep a straight face.

"A-Animal!" she stuttered and moved further away from him.

He groaned and shifted a bit. "You absolutely can't say that! This one wasn't my fault."

Izaya tightened her grip on the switchblade. "I might just kill you after all," she said in a malicious voice, and even though she still felt embarrassed about what happened, she couldn't deny that it was slightly amusing. She really should've thought better before doing something as stupid as sitting on his lap, but she was looking for an excuse to kill him. She'd been certain that he would try to kiss her, and by doing so, give her a reason to plunge the weapon into his heart. She sighed out loud and went back to where he was tied up, feeling slightly nervous about what she was about to do. Ignoring his inquisitive look, she knelt on the floor and proceeded to cut the wires one by one.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Shizuo said, and Izaya's hand stilled just as she was about to cut another wire. "I'm so sorry for what I've done..."

"Shut up," she ordered and then continued when it looked like the beast would keep quiet. She was already nervous about cutting him loose, and him talking certainly wasn't helping. They were alone in a basement for god's sake, and if that wasn't terrifying enough, then she didn't know what was. "Can you break those?" she asked and stepped aside to give him some room.

Shizuo chuckled darkly. "What do you think?"

Izaya rolled her eyes. "Show-off."

"Nah, just a monster." Finally out of the wires, he pushed his arms forwards and away from the wall, the chains breaking much harder than he expected. He inspected his wrists and noticed that he was bleeding, but he shrugged it off because there was nothing he could do about it. Using his hands, he broke the ones on the ankles before he pushed himself off the dirty flood and turned towards Izaya, immediately noticing how tense she looked. "When are we getting out?"

"Tonight."

"I wonder if I can bring down the door."

"No! They have guns, I don't want to get shot because you were too impatient to wait."

"What if Shiki doesn't come through?"

"Then you are free to do whatever you want."

"Sounds good enough to me," he said and proceeded to pace his half of the cell. Izaya obviously needed that invisible line between them, and if that made her feel safe, then he was going to allow her as much. He took a look at himself, his blood soaked clothes only confirming what he already knew. "I've lost too much blood, and I keep losing more and more, so I don't know if I'll be of any use by the time Shiki shows up. If you want the door opened, then you're going to have to tell me soon."

"I trust him. He'll be here."

"Suit yourself. But you know, what will happen to him afterwards?"

"Not my problem," was her curt answer.

Shizuo paced for a few more minutes and then sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. Shiki wasn't his most favorite person, but he would certainly feel bad if the man got killed for helping them escape. Criminal organizations were never too kind with those who betrayed them, the proof being those Awakusu-kai spies who didn't even do anything, but still ended up getting killed just for being discovered. Even if they didn't catch Shiki, the man would still have to go into hiding, and there was a possibility he would be found. He was an Executive in the group, and that would make him a high priority target for betraying the organization. Feeling the beginning of a headache, he turned to Izaya. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Izaya looked at him as though he was insane. "Peachy," she answered, annoyed that he couldn't stay quiet in his corner.

Pressing his right palm flat against the floor, he pushed himself up and turned towards her. "Between the two of us, we can take them. I know we can."

"You might as well be dead weight with how much blood you lost, and I'm not doing much better."

"No, just listen to me." Gauging her reaction after taking a step towards her, he kept moving closer and closer until he was standing in front of her. He knew that she would lash out at the slightest provocation, but he had no plans to move forward, so he continued to talk. "We've had far worse injuries before. This is nothing. If we work together, we can do it. We can't wait and hope that Shiki will get us out, because by then we'll both be too weak to fight if he fails."

Izaya relaxed her hold on the weapon, now certain that Shizuo wouldn't try anything. She hated to admit, but he had a point. Her eyes drifted to the switchblade in her hand and she tried not to think how it had been used against her by the man before her. She unwillingly shivered at the memory of him cutting her clothes with it, and she threw him a hateful glare before she sighed out loud. "Are you sure you won't drop dead anytime soon?"

Shizuo nodded. "If we can get them to open the door, we can push our way through them."

Izaya blinked a few times.

His brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"I didn't think that Shizu-chan had the brain to come up with any sort of plan."

He turned around and moved to the door to inspect it. "There's a lot you don't know about me," he said after some time.

"I know enough," she answered in a mocking tone.

"Scream," he said after he turned around and started walking towards her.

She almost panicked for a second, but when she figured out his plan, she smirked, hoping to hide the fear she felt at seeing the man who terrified her stomp towards her. She screamed, but this time around, it was only a game meant to help them escape.


	21. The Grand Conjuration

As expected, they soon heard the sounds of hurried footsteps and saw the door open, two men rushing in to see what was going on. Both Shizuo and Izaya were upon them, one of the men flying through the air before hitting the wall opposite to the heavy iron door while the other ended up on the floor holding onto the side to stop the bleeding caused by a switchblade slash. Izaya made sure not to kill him, murder being the last thing she wanted associated with her name. Besides, even someone as lowly as one of her captors was one of her humans, and she didn't like the thought of killing any of them if she could avoid it.

"Follow me," Shizuo whispered right before he grabbed her arm and nearly dragged her out of their prison, his eyes scanning the hallway leading upstairs.

"Let go," Izaya hissed and pulled back her arm while glaring daggers at the beast who dared to touch her so casually. She did however move behind him, a malevolent smile spreading across her face. If bullets came flying towards them, Shizuo would get hit first, while she'd most likely be safe behind his much bigger body. "Be careful," she cautioned once they went up the stairs and they heard voices coming from somewhere behind the closed door. "This is a bad idea, we're going to get killed," she complained in a low voice when he touched the handle. "Shizuo!" she hissed, but he shushed her before he pressed it and slowly pushed open the door, a few surprised faces turning in their direction. There were more than a dozen men out there, and the two of them swiftly charged forward when they saw their opponents grabbing their baseball bats. The man closest to her swung a fist, but she managed to duck in time to avoid getting hit, and then slashed him across the abdomen. He cried out in pain and collapsed while another one swung a metal bat at her which she couldn't avoid as easily as the fist. Her shoulder was hit pretty hard, but she refused to cry out in pain, and before she even knew what was happening, she was grabbed from behind and pushed aside by Shizuo who had seen her get hit.

"The next one who touches her dies," he declared through clenched teeth, popping his knuckles as he stared down each and every one of the men in that room.

Izaya was still behind him, cradling her injured shoulder and feeling rather pissed about the whole situation. "I don't need you to protect me," she sneered. "I can take care of myself just fi―"

"Shut up," Shizuo growled before he dashed to the closest man, grabbed the metal bat the other swung at him and viciously crashed it into the head of the one trying to attack him from the side.

Izaya glared with animosity before she tightened the grip around her switchblade and slashed at the two men closing in on her, trying to ignore the sounds of metal hitting flesh each time Shizuo couldn't avoid a hit. An angry roar chilled the blood in her veins, and when she turned her head she saw an enraged Ikebukuro beast race towards her, grab the two men and brutally bang their heads into the wall behind her. Their eyes met, and for a moment, she feared he had completely lost his mind, but he cracked a smile and turned around just in time punch away a flying chair.

"Didn't you bastards hear me?" he barked, panting heavily, his body a mass of raw agony. He was pretty monstrous when it came to withstanding pain and damage, but he'd been injured too much in one day and it got to the point where running, let alone fighting, was proving to be difficult. He knew however that if he didn't beat each and every one of them, Izaya would most likely die, and he couldn't let that happen no matter what. He also knew that trying to protect her made her want to brutally murder him even more, the proof being the many insults thrown his way and her stating loud and clear how she didn't need him, and yet he chose to ignore her words in favor of making sure she got out of there in one piece. The men seemed to ignore his warning and instead close in on them, so he put himself between the mob of gangsters and the woman he wanted more than anything in the world. _My woman,_ he heard a voice in the back of his mind, but he shook his head, trying to chase it away.

"Why are they out?" Aozaki's powerful voice boomed into the large room, making everyone freeze in their tracks. He stood menacingly at the door, katana drawn, effectively blocking their way out.

"We're not sure," one of the underlings answered and lowered his head in shame. "They just showed up here."

Aozaki made a sound of frustration before he advanced forward, Shizuo pushing Izaya backwards until her back hit the wall, her protests dying down when she realized that her switchblade wouldn't be a match for the man's sword.

"Shizuo-kun, you cannot fight your way out of here, no matter how much you want it." He then gazed at the little he could see of Izaya before his attention turned back to Ikebukuro's beast. "And you say you two aren't together..." he remarked in an amused tone.

"We're not!" Izaya protested while peeking from behind Shizuo's back. She was not stupid enough to believe that he could take on all of them and survive, especially when she hadn't even been able to fight off Shiki.

Aozaki ignored her and instead smirked at Shizuo. "I hope you screwed her before you left the basement, because you're about to die!" he declared and charged forward, Shizuo barely ducking the incoming slash while Izaya jumped to the side to avoid getting cut, two men immediately going after her while Aozaki focused his attention on bringing down Ikebukuro's beast. Izaya was too busy doing her best to not get captured to worry about Shizuo, so after she successfully brought down the two men who had tried to grab her, she sprinted past another one and tried to reach the door, jumping on a chair, then a table and making a dash for the door, only to get viciously smacked in the back by a heavy chain. She cried out in pain and collapsed on the floor, Shizuo roaring a "You're all fucking dead!" while she writhed in agony and tried to reach the switchblade she'd just dropped. She grabbed it as soon as she spotted it, but one of Aozaki's underlings viciously stepped on her hand while another one hit the back of her head with a bat, her mouth opening in a wordless scream and her sight going black from the vicious blow she'd just received.

Shizuo was so distracted by the scene to his right that he couldn't avoid Aozaki's katana in time, the blade leaving a pretty deep gash across his chest. The blood gushed in a waterfall down his clothes, but his attention was somewhere else and he almost shouted in frustration when his opponent kept attacking him, effectively blocking his way towards Izaya who was obviously injured and in need of help. It was a miracle he was dodging the katana so well, but he figured it was a result of his too many fights with Izaya. Instead of moving closer to her, he ended up getting trapped in the corner with Aozaki staring at him with a blood-thirsty smirk on his face.

"You were a formidable oponent, Shizuo-kun, but not even Ikebukuro's beast was a match for this Aozaki."

Shizuo sneered, and the Blue Demon gripped the katana tighter as he readied himself to deliver the finishing blow, barely stopping himself in time when he heard Shiki's voice somewhere behind him.

"STOP!" the man had shouted, his eyes widening in disbelief at the bloody picture he was met with. He quickly pulled out his phone and sent a messed before he raised his head and fixed Aozaki with the full force of his glare. "You're about to murder an innocent man," he told him, wincing a bit towards the end. Shizuo was anything but innocent, but he was not guilty of the crime the Awakusu-kai were accusing him of. Aozaki burst into laughter, and instead of doing as Shiki had requested, he raised the katana again and moved to turn around, only stopping when Shiki pulled out a gun and pointed it in his direction. "Let him go... let both of them go."

Aozaki sighed loudly and lowered his katana. "Are you betraying us?"

"I'm simply trying to make sure that two innocent people don't get killed because you won't let them bring proof of their innocence. It's not 'guilty until proven innocent,' you know?" Shiki ignored the angry glare, and with a flick of the gun, he ordered the Blue Demon to get out of the way.

It was then when Celty burst through the open door and rushed to the fallen Izaya. She wasn't wearing her usual helmet, nor using her powers, not wanting to get recognized. Without her powers, she had no choice but to punch and kick her way to the place where Shiki told her to meet him, and as she wrapped an arm around Izaya's back and helped her up, she couldn't have been more surprised when the other woman hugged her.

"Thank you, _for being alive,"_ but Izaya only said the second half in her mind. It was like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she genuinely smiled as she turned her head in Shizuo's direction to see if he was still standing. "Shizu-chan just won't drop dead," she said in a half-joking, half-serious tone, and she almost snorted when the man smirked at her.

"Well, that was disgustingly sweet," Aozaki snorted, not getting fooled by Celty's disguise. He sheathed his katana, knowing better than to challenge an armed Shiki. "You _will_ die; you know that, right?" he asked, but Shiki simply shrugged and waited for Celty to take Izaya out of there while he helped Shizuo regardless of the disgust he felt for the man.

Izaya almost tripped a few times on the fallen Awakusu-kai members on her way out, her mind going in overdrive trying to figure out who had Celty's head. With the Dullahan alive, it meant that someone had taken her head from inside the apartment before it got blown to smithereens. It didn't look like the Awakusu-kai were responsible, which left Heaven's Slave leader ordering the hit on her. That man, whoever he was, most likely had Celty's head. She'd have to work even harder to find the bastard now that he dared to take something that belonged to her, not to mention the destruction of her apartment, for which she would surely make him pay. She let herself be led to a car and sat on the backseat, Shiki and Shizuo sitting in the front.

[ I left Shooter further away from here, so I'll met you later, ok? ]

Izaya nodded and Celty closed the car's door while Shiki started the engine and they drove away. "Why did you save us?" she asked the Awakusu-kai Executive while pocketing the bloody switchblade with a trembling and injured hand.

"Shinra told me your apartment blew up, and that you disappeared along with Shizuo. After I found out our group had you, I told him I'd try to convince my leader to let you go, which is why I needed the full story from you. I'm sorry if that brought back bad memories."

Izaya didn't say anything while Shizuo simply cringed and looked away.

"You should've waited like I asked you to," Shiki hissed, some of the anger he felt at the whole situation bleeding into his voice. "Now I have to hide from my own men."

Izaya sneered and turned her head to look out the window. "The Awakusu-kai would've never just taken your word for it. I'll have to once again get proof that the Heaven's Slave leader ordered the hits on those men. I'll see if I can gather the information from my sources again. You can even take it to the big boss yourself. Who knows, maybe he'll spare your life."

"Orihara Izaya ― ever so generous," Shiki mocked, and they all spent the rest of the way in silence.

Shinra and Celty were already there by the time the car stopped, both of them rushing to help Izaya while Kasuka ran over to Shizuo. Shiki gave Kasuka a hand with Shizuo, Ikebukuro's beast having troubles standing because of how much blood he'd lost.

"Where are we?" Izaya inquired as they went up the stairs towards the elevator.

"This is where I've been staying with my brother," Kasuka infomed her, and Izaya almost paled at the implication.

"I'm not going to this monster's apartment!" she said through clenched teeth.

"It's my apartment," Shinra chirped, and then continued when Izaya gave him a confused look. "Even you don't know everything about me."

Izaya snorted but kept walking. Once inside, she allowed her eyes to roam all over the place, wondering how did the doctor get enough money to buy a second apartment. Since Shizuo was soaked in blood, they took him to the bathroom while Izaya herself sat down on the couch after Celty threw some towels on it.

"You know how to reach me," Shiki informed her and walked out the door, Izaya giving him a confused look before sighing loudly and reclining against the couch. It felt good to finally sit down on something soft instead of a dirty floor.

"Ah, I can't believe my precious everything is gone," she whined while Celty cleaned her wounds as best as she could because Shinra was too busy fixing Shizuo. Izaya threw the bathroom door a nasty glare before turning her attention back to the Dullahan. She didn't even want to imagine how boring life would've been without Celty, as well as how terrible it would've been if her means of reaching Valhalla had been taken away from her. Actually, it had been _literally_ taken away from her, but all was not lost, and she had the confidence that she could one day ― as soon as possible, hopefully ― be able to get back Celty's head. "Do you even know what you're doing?" she inquired in a suspicious voice, but the Dullahan simply nodded and went back to pulling out pieces of whatever had penetrated her flesh during the explosion. She wasn't as badly injured as Shizuo, but her whole body still hurt and she was so tired that the pain was the only thing keeping her awake. She had no idea how long she stayed there, but after what felt like an eternity, Celty informed her that she was done and that she had to go check on Shizuo. Izaya put on the clothes brought to her and headed straight for the nearest room where she lay on the bed and fell asleep.

Celty blankly stared at her PDA for a minute or two, wondering if she should wake the sleeping women and tell her that she had just collapsed on Shizuo's bed. Izaya sleeping there was wrong for several reasons, and yet Celty couldn't find it in her to wake her up. As if to help her make up her mind, Shinra called her, and she closed the door to Shizuo's bedroom and went into the bathroom.

"So what did she say?" Shinra inquired as soon as Celty opened the door.

[ She didn't say anything. She fell asleep. ]

"The couch is not that comfortable to sleep in," Kasuka mused out loud.

[ She fell asleep in Shizuo's bed... ]

All three males snapped their heads in her direction, including Shizuo who was barely conscious.

"W-What... is s-she c-crazy?" Shizuo asked in a pained voice.

[ I don't think she knew it was your bedroom... ]

Shinra simply shrugged and went back to sewing. "She'll probably be mad tomorrow, but she needs rest. It looks like you're going to have to bunk with Kasuka tonight."

Shizuo grunted but didn't say anything. He almost _feared_ Izaya's reaction when she'd wake up, and he had a feeling that he'd have to call Shinra to sew a bunch of switchblade wounds.

"Could you please go buy some more bandages? I'm running out," a frowning Shinra asked Celty. He hadn't realized that Shizuo's wounds would be so bad, and it was a miracle his patient was still somewhat conscious. "I think you need blood transfusion," he then told him, but Shizuo simply mumbled a "I just need some sleep" before finally passing out.

Kasuka's expression turned into one of panic, but Shinra assured him that Shizuo would be ok. He was a pretty good doctor, so he knew what he was doing.

Celty was back with more bandages not even ten minutes later, and with Kasuka's help, Shinra finished patching up Shizuo and both of them carried him to the other bedroom where they laid him on the bed. They decided it was best that Shinra and Celty went home, to not arise any suspicion. Besides, they didn't want their apartment to get trashed by the Awakusu-kai. Even if Aozaki had figured out that Celty had helped them, he couldn't prove it.

Once the two of them were gone, Kasuka went to check on Shizuo and then went to get rid of the bloody towels on the couch so that he could sleep there. He had no idea how to act around Izaya, especially after threatening her, but he hoped that she wouldn't attack him, or worse, panic when realizing that she was alone with the two of them. He didn't want Izaya anywhere near Shizuo any more than she wanted to be around them, but all of their lives were on the line and they couldn't afford to bicker among themselves. That night he fell asleep pretty fast, exhaustion finally catching up with him.

Izaya woke up in middle of the night, her dry throat screaming for some water. She staggered out of the room on wobbly legs, forgetting in her half-asleep state where she was. She tripped on something that shouldn't have been there had she been inside her own apartment, but she kept on walking to where the kitchen was supposed to be, only to run into something and grunt in pain.

"Are you ok?" she heard a voice from right in front of her, and she jumped back in fright, only now realizing that she was not inside her own apartment. The voice sounded familiar, but it was only after she heard it again that she figured out who it was. A quick inspection of her clothes told her that she was weaponless, and she turned on her heals and dashed towards the nearest door she could see in the dim light, a mistake she immediately came to regret when she seemed to have entered the room where Shizuo was sleeping.

She was trapped in hell, that had to be it. Somehow she had died and now her punishment was to be forever haunted by her tormentor and his bastard of a brother. She tried to back away but she ran into Kasuka, so she moved further into the room until she was trapped in the corner furthest away from both the Heiwajima monsters. She thought she heard Kasuka talk, but she couldn't be sure when her heart was making so much noise. As if that wasn't bad enough, the man turned on the light, by doing so waking up the sleeping beast. Finally, Izaya remembered where she was and what had happened before she fell asleep, the sight of a heavily-bandaged Shizuo jolting her memory. She licked her dry lips to say something, but she couldn't find her voice. Instead, she intently watched the sleeping beast's eyes flutter open before finally settling on her.

"I...zaya?" Shizuo asked, his expression one of confusion.

"I'm sorry for waking you up, nii-san, but it looked like she was starting to panic and I had no choice but to turn on the light."

Shizuo's gaze drifted from Izaya's frightened face to Kasuka's apparently emotionless one. "Why is she _here?"_

"Shinra and Celty-san thought it was best she stayed here. They didn't want to go into hiding, so they went home."

"Are they _insane?"_ he growled at Kasuka before turning his attention back to Izaya. "If you want to go, then go," he told her and motioned for Kasuka to get out of the way, "but it's not safe outside." The silence stretched for a few long moments until she laughed.

"And here it is?" she hissed as soon as she found her voice, and she glowered at Shizuo with all the animosity and hatred she felt towards him.

"You're safe here, Orihara-san," Kasuka assured her. "I gave Celty-san my word that I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you while you're here."

Izaya broke into hysterical laughter and allowed her body to slide down the wall. She didn't have any energy left in her battered body, so walking out of there and into the street where the Awakusu-kai could find her was like asking to get killed. It was a tough choice, but after a few minutes of considering her options while fighting off the nausea, she concluded that she had no choice but to stay in that apartment with the Heiwajima brothers. Her limbs were shaking with fine tremors, but she refused to show how terrified she was of both of them.

"I'm going to kill them," she spoke in a spiteful voice while pushing herself off the floor. "That bastard and that monster, I'll kill them with my own two hands," she hissed through gritted teeth as she stumbled out of the bedroom and went straight to the one from where she came before slamming the door behind her. Both Celty and Shinra would pay dearly for what they had done. They should've known better than to do that to her. She would skin them alive and throw their corpses to the dogs to feast on them.

She sat down on the bed and warily stared at the door, wondering if either of those monsters would try to come in. Deep down inside, she _knew_ they wouldn't, and yet her mind kept imagining terrible scenarios of what would happen to her if they were to burst through that door.

That night she wasn't able to go back to sleep.


	22. Her Poisonous Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost count how many times I fell asleep while trying to finish this chapter. xD

Izaya spent the entire night curled into a tight ball, trembling, eyes glued to the door behind which the monster's brother slept. She knew that she could get out if she wanted, but to walk out of the apartment wearing something that resembled pajamas when the Yakuza were after her was like asking to get captured, and she most certainly did not wish to end up into Aozaki's hands again, especially when the man's dislike for her had been so obvious.

It was only after the sun rose and the light flooded the small room that she realized whose bedroom it was. The empty cigarette packs, the cartoon of milk forgotten on the far end of the small desk, as well as the clothes thrown on the chair, were proof that she was inside the beast's lair. Had she been able to move, she would've jumped to her feet and put some distance between herself and the bed, but she couldn't even lift her hands, let alone move her legs, her exhausted mind drowning in both terror and disgust. It felt like an eternity had passed before she managed to crawl out of the bed and towards the door, her legs trembling so badly that she had to grab onto different pieces of furniture in order to not collapse. She opened the door and nearly stumbled into the living room, Kasuka waking up as she passed him by in her desperate attempt to get to the kitchen and drink some much needed water, as well as splash some on her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked when he saw her wan face.

"No. I need some water," she spoke mechanically and continued to drag her weak body towards what she assumed was the kitchen.

Kasuka pushed the blanket away and got up, catching her arm and steadying her just as she was about to collapse. "I'll get it for you," he assured her after he helped her sit down in the armchair.

Izaya didn't protest and instead waited for the glass of water that her dehydrated body sorely needed. Regardless of her hatred for the younger Heiwajima, she was not so stupid as to refuse help when she needed it, even if said help came from an enemy. She knew that sometimes she had no choice but to swallow her pride if she wanted to survive, and at that moment, what she needed above everything else was some water.

Kasuka hurried back and handed her the glass, even though he doubted that she'd be able to hold it by herself. Luckily, it turned out he'd been wrong. "Should I call Shinra?" he asked and sat down on the couch, but he quickly dropped the matter when she slowly shook her head.

"I'm sorry about what happened last time we met." He now understood that what he did was wrong, especially when she was looking so fragile. He might've not been as emotional as most people, but he still couldn't stand the pitiful sight before his eyes, even if the woman he was feeling sorry for was none other than the one who'd tried to get Shizuo killed.

"I don't want to talk about that right now," she spoke in a tired voice.

"I understand."

"But there is something I need from you," she said as their eyes met.

Kasuka had to admit that he was surprised she was even talking to him, so he was a little curious to find out what her request was. "Of course. What do you need?"

"A phone."

"No problem," he answered and went to get the phone from the pocket of his jacket before coming back and handing it to her. He watched her grab it and then close her eyes, gripping it tightly as she most likely fought to gather her addled thoughts. "Is there anything you'd like to eat?"

"French toast," she answered weakly, not really expecting Kasuka to listen to her request. It was a bit amusing, now that she thought about it. Both Heiwajimas were idiots, and Kasuka, just like Shizuo, was most likely beating himself over his treatment of her. That was one of the reasons she'd always won against Shizuo ― except that one time when the monster caught her ― because Orihara Izaya never regretted anything. She sometimes questioned certain decisions she might've made, but that was different. She now knew that it'd been a bad idea to get Shizuo framed for those murders, but at the same time she'd enjoyed the protozoan's pain and distress as a result of her plan. With Kasuka into the kitchen, she opened her eyes, tilted her head and blankly stared at the phone for a few minutes until she finally figured out what she wanted.

She typed a long message and then sent it to Celty, sighing softly and hoping that the Dullahan would heed her request. She rotated her head towards the kitchen and wondered if Kasuka even knew how to cook. She knew that the former emotionless freak had a lot of hobbies, but she couldn't recall if cooking was one of them. She needed sustenance to gather her strength so that she could get out of there as soon as possible, and if the only way to get it was to eat Kasuka's french toast, then so be it. Her eyes drifted back to the phone in her hands, but she heard the door to the bedroom open and she snapped her head in that direction, the beast wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants besides the many bandages covering his chest and arms dragging his battered body out the door and taking a step in the direction of the bathroom before he finally noticed her.

"Izaya!" he gasped in surprise and froze in his tracks. "I... you're still here."

She fought to swallow the lump in her throat so that she could answer, and she hoped that her voice wouldn't tremble as badly as the rest of her body. There was nothing worse than being in the presence of an enemy while she was so vulnerable, and it was one of the things she feared the most. "I'll l-leave soon," she assured him, gripping the phone so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

Shizuo leaned against the wall, grimacing, the stitches pulling at his skin in uncomfortable ways. "You're hurt too. Stay here until you get better. I won't hurt you, hell, I won't even get anywhere near you, I promise," he assured her with a forced smile on his face.

Izaya snorted weakly and shot him a nasty glare. She still couldn't get used to seeing the beast without the blonde locks, and it annoyed her because he looked so different from the man who'd hurt her more than anyone ever had. The guilty look, the black hair, the normal clothes, everything was so different from that monster, the one with the bartender uniform, blonde locks and a hateful gaze who had captured her and used her body for his own sick pleasure.

Seeing how she wasn't answering, Shizuo weakly pushed himself away from the wall and continued his trek towards the bathroom. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, so he felt exhausted, the idea of having a terrified Izaya inside the apartment preventing him from closing his eyes and getting some much needed rest. After he relieved himself, he washed his hands and tried to brush his teeth, but his limbs felt too weak so in the end he didn't spend as much time as he normally did before he left the bathroom and went back into the living room. He was a bit surprised to see that she was still there, until a cringing thought passed through his mind at the same time that red eyes rose and met his own. He sat down on the couch, but he made sure to keep his distance as much as he could. "You figured it out," he spoke sadly, but Izaya's confused expression convinced him to continue. "That it was my bedroom."

Ever so slowly, Izaya turned her head in the direction of that accursed room before bloodshot eyes met Shizuo's gaze. "Of course I did. It's disgusting after all, just like you," and her lips moved into a smirk when she saw the beast wince, as though the words had physically hurt him.

"At least it's better than the basement," he tried in an attempt to lighten the heavy atmosphere, but his smile was brittle and he had no doubt that she could see right through it.

"Oh, yes, at least we have that," she said mockingly and rolled her eyes, but the movement made her dizzy and she had to fight off a new wave of nausea. "But don't worry, I'll be out of your hair as soon as Celty comes over."

"Where will you go now that your home is gone?" Shizuo asked and hoped that she wouldn't snap at him again.

"You didn't honestly think that was my only apartment, did you, beast?" Izaya sneered and fought the temptation to hurl the phone at Shizuo's face. "Your fake concern is so disgusting that it's almost making me puke, so could you please stop it before I end up dirtying Shinra's carpet?"

Shizuo ran a shaky hand through his hair and silently gazed at Izaya, the abhorrence in her eyes only increasing his self-hatred. He still couldn't believe that he'd been so stupid as to take her against her will, but that was a mistake he'd have to live with for the rest of his life. "My concern isn't fake, and you _know_ that. You know... how I... feel about you," he spoke softly, but the way she shuddered made him think that perhaps it'd been a bad idea to remind her of what they had talked about in that dirty basement when they both thought they might end up dead.

Izaya knew, but she'd hoped that if she pretended it never happened, the beast's love confession, or as close to one as he'd come, would somehow go away. "You don't do something like that to someone you like..."

"I know that now, I―" but the rest of the words got caught in his throat when Kasuka showed up with a plate of french toast and he placed it in Izaya's lap. Shizuo stared at the odd occurrence, finding it hard to believe that she'd accept anything coming from either of them, let alone nod a silent thank you to his little brother.

"Kasuka, can you give us a few minutes?" Shizuo asked and turned his attention back to Izaya when Kasuka went into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. "Listen, I―"

"I really don't care," Izaya said flatly and took a bite out of the french toast, all the while trying to forget who had made it for her.

"No, just listen," he pleaded. "I didn't know back then."

"Didn't know what, Shizu-chan?"

"How I felt about you. I thought I hated you... actually, I'm sure I did, more like half-hated you, but now I know that I've wanted you for a long time, and the hatred we shared pushed me to hurt you. I was so angry, thinking that you slept around... and when you saw me with that woman, you had no right to chase her away. I lost it, Izaya, I lost it completely," he confessed, and he bowed his head, unable to hold her gaze any longer.

Izaya took another bite from the french toast, and then another, her mind going in overdrive trying to find a way to respond to Shizuo's messed up confession. "Everything is so ironic, considering how I _wasn't_ sleeping around," she sighed.

"I'm sorry I took something precious away from you."

Izaya burst into laughter, nearly chocking on a piece of toast in the process. "Ahh ha ha ha! I knew that Shizu-chan was stupid, but I never guessed that he could be _this_ stupid. _Precious_? Ah ha ha! How... _ridiculous,"_ and she nearly hissed that last word when pain shot throughout her body because of the many injuries she was still sporting. "Let me make it clear, so that even your protozoic brain can understand. I don't care that you were the first. I love my humans equally, which is why I didn't care much to engage in sexual activities with any particular individual. I simply haven't yet found a man worthy of this Orihara Izaya. But you, you, Heiwajima Shizuo, are a disgusting animal, unworthy of touching me, and yet you had the audacity to not only rape me once, but twice, so perhaps, if you put your protozoic brain to work, you might understand why I loathe you so much," she finished, her voice dripping with hatred.

Shizuo didn't know how to reply to that, not in a way that it would make her feel better, so instead he swallowed his apologies, lowered his head and just stared at his bruised knuckles. An awkward silence settled over the living room, the only sounds breaking the silence being those of Izaya chewing on the toast that Kasuka had made for her. "If I could go back―"

"But you can't!" she interrupted him. "You can't go back and undo what you have done. Then again, perhaps I should be glad that I succeeded in making Ikebukuro's beast completely lose his temper. You now know, don't you, what kind of monster you are?"

Honey-brown eyes met red ones, and he slowly got up and took a step in her direction, and then another, until he was standing right in front of her. He could see how much she was struggling to keep her ground and to not run away, and he admired her for being so courageous even after he broke her in the worst possible way.

"I know," he said in an anguished voice as he dropped to his knees in front of her. "I'm so sorry. I know you'll never forgive me, but I still want you to know how much I regret what I've done."

Izaya raised a hand and placed it on Shizuo's head, the flinch the touch was met with making a malicious smirk spread across her face. "I know," she said and gently ran her fingers through his now black locks. "I know that you're sorry, Shizu-chan, and I know how much you want forgiveness, but that is not something I will ever be able to grant you." Her smirk fell, and she moved her fingers down the side of face, across his jaw, until she gripped his chin and canted his head upwards. Even such a simple touch made her skin crawl, and she had to fight the tremors threatening to overcome her. "Would you kill for me?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"I've never killed anyone," he rushed to answer, his expression morphing into a frown.

"I know, but would you, if they were bad people? Would you kill someone who's a horrible human if I asked you to?" She tried again, and this time she ran the fingers of her other hand through Shizuo's hair in a soothing manner.

"Are you asking me to kill myself?" he inquired in a confused tone as he stared into Izaya's almost blood-like eyes.

"You may be a bad person, Shizu-chan, but no, I am not talking about you right now." Slowly, she moved her thumb until it touched his lips, and she ran it across them before finally posing her question. "Would you kill Aozaki for a kiss?" The way he tensed, as well as his soft gasp, almost made her laugh, but she somehow managed to hold it in. Taking advantage of his momentary shock, she leaned forward, until her lips were right beside his ear. "My lips are just as untouched as the rest of my body was before you tainted it," and she briefly brushed them across his cheek before pulling back and releasing him, Shizuo nearly slumping to the floor as though he was nothing more than a ragged doll whose strings had been cut.

Shizuo's first instinct had been to bark a definite no, but he bit his tongue and allowed himself a moment to dream of the kiss she'd promised if he were to turn into a murderer for her sake. He was certain that he would never kill anyone unless he had no choice, but that didn't stop him from imagining how it'd be like to kiss a willing Izaya, to press his own lips against her usually rosy, but currently pale ones, and then devour them into a passionate kiss.

"If you don't kill him, then he will kill me," she continued as she gazed into the honey-brown eyes that were a window to Shizuo's inner struggle. "No, he won't just kill me. You heard him, right? He'd first give me to his men. Shizu-chan, you know what that means, don't you? You know what they would do to me," she said in a fearful voice and hoped that her words would affect the beast. When Shizuo didn't answer, she got up, placed the plate on the coffee table and sat back down in the armchair before grabbing Shizuo's shoulder and pulling him into an embrace.

A shudder went through her body when Shizuo placed an arm around her waist for better balance, but she didn't push him away no matter how much she wished to do so. "It was one thing to get ruined by a beast, a worthy adversary, but if some humans would do that to me, I would die, Shizu-chan, I really would," she uttered in a soft, trembling voice and rested her chin on top of the head pressed to her bosom. "Kill him, Shizu-chan, so that he won't hurt either of us again."

As though he'd just awaken from a spell, Shizuo's eyes opened and he abruptly pulled away, almost scrambling backwards when his eyes fell on her malicious smile. "This is a sick game you're playing," he hissed and pushed himself up, Izaya following his example and standing up as well.

"It's not a game, Shizu-chan," Izaya assured him, but her words were met with an angry growl and a terrifying glare. "Aozaki will never stop hunting us, especially since he seems to hate the both of us so much."

"I'll prove my innocence and he'll leave us alone," Shizuo said, but he didn't really believe his own words. He couldn't be sure if Aozaki would still go after Izaya, but he knew for certain that the Blue Demon would never stop hunting him.

Izaya folded her arms across her chest and shook her head in a disappointed manner. "Keep telling yourself that, if it'll make you feel better."

"I won't kill anyone for you, you twisted bitch," Shizuo growled and tightly clenched his hands into fists in an attempt to not grab her and throw her out of the apartment.

"I can't believe you just said that," she gasped in mock-surprise. "Well, the offer still stands," Izaya informed him, smirking, before she turned around and went back to the room in which she'd spent the night.

Shizuo allowed his heated body to slump on the couch, already yearning for more contact with the woman who had just tried to play him into killing another person. He just stood there for a long time, not even bothering to talk to Kasuka when his little brother sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. It was only when he saw Celty walk in a couple of hours later that he mumbled a hello but didn't say anything else because he knew how disappointed the Dullahan was in him.

"You're finally here," Izaya greeted her the moment the door opened and Celty walked in. "Did you bring me the stuff I asked for?" she inquired and then smiled and rubbed her hands together before she proceeded to pull out the clothing articles that Celty bought for her in a rush.

[ I hope they are okay. ]

Izaya inspected them and smiled. "They're perfect. Thank you so much, Celty," she chirped and hugged the Dullahan. "How about the other things I asked for?"

Celty handed her a smaller bag and then pointed to the box near the bed's footboard. [ I hope I didn't forget anything. ]

"You got everything. I'll pay you as soon as I can."

[ No problem. Will you be all right? I can't stay, I'm sorry. ]

"I'll be fine," Izaya assured her and then proceeded to get undressed the moment Celty was out the door. She didn't mind postponing her complaints to Celty and Shinra about the two of them leaving her with the Heiwajima monsters, not when she didn't want to spend another second in that apartment.

She concluded that the shower could wait, so she applied some concealer on her face, neck and hands to hide the bruises before she slipped out of the pajamas and got dressed with the clothes Celty brought.

Shizuo's jaw nearly dropped about half an hour later when the door to his bedroom opened and Izaya walked out looking hotter than he ever remember seeing her, even though she wasn't really showing any skin.

Instead of the usual clothes she wore, this time around she was dressed in a pair of shorts and her legs were covered by thigh-high black socks. The boots stopped just below the knee, and a tight t-shirt now covered her torso. She wasn't showing any cleavage, but she looked ravishing nonetheless. She was wearing a long, black coat instead of the fur-trimmed jacket, but the biggest surprise had to be the long hair and the black-framed glasses that gave the whole thing an elegant look. Shizuo could hardly breathe as he devoured her with eyes filled with desire, and he had to fight off the impulse to put his hands on the beautiful woman that was Orihara Izaya.

"Are you done gaping?" she asked and rolled her eyes.

"W-What?" Shizuo stuttered.

Izaya sighed before she slipped her hands into the pockets of her coat and headed towards the door.

"Wait!" Shizuo said, barely stopping himself from going after her. "You can't go out like this in the middle of the day. People will recognize you!"

"No, they won't. Sometimes, the best way to hide is to get attention. No one would suspect someone who isn't hiding at all," Izaya spoke and then gave them a smirk over her shoulder before she walked out of the apartment and into the street.

Her objective was to get home safely, well, her other home, and then see if she could contact the man who had previously informed her about the hit on the spies. Until then, her priority was to not collapse in the middle of the street as she made her way towards the train station. Every bone and muscle in her body hurt, but at least she was alive, and that was more than she could ask for after the whole Awakusu-kai fiasco.

Those foolish Yakuza would pay for their mistake of messing with Orihara Izaya.


	23. She Loves Me Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've written this much sooner, but to be honest, I haven't been much in the mood to write lately, plus I wanted to catch up with a few manga I've been following ( like Ao no Exorcist ) and also I'm reading some new manga too, just because one can never read too much manga. xD

Izaya mourned the loss of her large apartment as soon as she reached her small one in Ikebukuro. It was a rather new acquisition, so it was nowhere near as impressive as her Shinjuku one, but she had a bed and a laptop, and that was more than she could ask for in her situation. Having an apartment there made it easier for her to hide if she was ever in danger, because no one would think to look for her there, and even though it was risky to stay in Ikebukuro, it was much better than to sleep in the beast's bed.

Her plan to get him killed had failed, but in a way she was glad that it had because the idea of playing with his feelings was far more entertaining. How far would Ikebukuro's beast go for something as insignificant as a kiss? The idea of kissing him disgusted her, but she wasn't one to back down so easily. Could she make him fall so deeply for her that he'd do anything? _I guess I'll just have to find out,_ she thought and chuckled darkly as she picked up her laptop from the desk and carried it to bed. Her eyes hurt from not getting enough sleep the night before, but she needed to see if she could contact the man from whom she'd gotten the information regarding the hit on the Awakusu-Kai spies.

The first problem was that she had no idea who this contact was, because she had only ever talked to him online. The man had emailed her a transcript with a conversation between a few anonymous Heaven's Slave members who were discussing the Awakusu-Kai and the spies. One of them had given the order to terminate the spies, but she doubted he was the leader. It was most likely that he was the boss' right hand man.

The second problem was that after saving the attachment on her laptop, she had deleted the email, so there was no way to simply get the transcript again. It was a measure of precaution she always took in case her email got hacked, because she didn't want the information to end up in enemy hands. With her laptop blown to smithereens, the information was lost.

Closing her eyes, she tried to recall the man's email address, and after a few minutes of cursing and sighing in annoyance, she finally remembered the strange name from where the transcript had been sent.

 

_from: Chrome_  
 _to: Adu Kuf_  
 _subject: I Need Your Help_

_Hello, Adu-san. I was wondering if you would be able to send me the information again because I've ran into some problems and I don't have it anymore. Actually, I'm willing to pay a large sum of money for the recording you took ( if not video, then at least audio ). Please contact me as soon as possible._

 

She read the message again before she hit the _Send_ button and then allowed her exhausted body to collapse on the bed. She'd only taken off the coat and the boots, so she was still wearing the rest of her clothes, including the wig. Slowly, she ran her fingers through the long mane, for the first time in her life wishing that her hair was just as long. _Tch, stupid thoughts,_ she berated herself, but that still didn't stop the other voice in her head from telling her how good she looked in what she was wearing. Still, long hair would always be a hindrance during a fight, and she couldn't afford such a weakness. Boots with high heels would slow her down, and she would never be able to perform her parkour skills for fear of showing too much. She kind of liked the shorts though, and she was seriously thinking of replacing her usual pants with them. Her thoughts went back to the boots, and she was trying to figure out if she could parkour in them. The platform heels wouldn't be as bad as normal high heels, and with a bit of practice, perhaps she could learn to run and fight in them. A genuine smile spread across her face, and she nearly squealed in delight as she imagined a beautiful Orihara Izaya kicking ass while wearing the stuff that Celty had bought for her. _Kicking Shizuo's ass,_ another voice chirped inside her head, and she smirked as she imagine the beast being so distracted by her looks that he'd end up losing.

"You're really starting to lose it, Izaya," she said out loud and shook her head, her previously amused expression morphing into a frown. It was always the same whenever Shizuo would enter her thoughts, the man making her feel shame, fear, disgust and hatred all at once. _Jealousy too,_ she reluctantly admitted to herself, because she couldn't understand how a monster such as Ikebukuro's beast could have so many people who cared about him. Even after finding out what Shizuo had done, Shinra, Celty and Kasuka still tried their hardest to save the monster's life, as though they couldn't stand the thought of losing him. It made her angry, but at the same time she hated that she understood them to some degree. Izaya herself was not a nice person, and yet Celty had done her best to help her. She guessed that if they could be her friends even though she was a pretty horrible person, then perhaps they would be able to continue being Shizuo's friends even after finding out what the beast had done. She didn't want to understand though. She wanted to be able to hate them, to throw them away like the bad friends that they were, but the thought of being alone terrified her so much that she was willing to put up with their betrayal.

"Have I truly become this pathetic?" Izaya asked herself as she stared blankly at the ceiling for a few moments before she sighed loudly and pushed herself into a sitting position. She doubted she would get an answer to her email soon, and she didn't feel like getting on the Dollars chatroom, so she closed the lid to her laptop, picked it up and then slowly made her way to the desk before going to change out of her outfit.

Izaya had no plans to go out, because she wanted to get some rest, but she couldn't do it as long as she was still dressed, so she took her clothes off and put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. She knew that she badly needed a shower, but she lacked the energy to take one, and her wounds were still too fresh. "Just my luck," Izaya mumbled as she staggered back into the room and nearly collapsed on the bed. "Sleep, I just need some sleep," she sighed softly before pulling the blanket over her body and closing her eyes.

The memory of Shizuo punching her in the stomach entered her mind, and she whimpered pathetically before she curled into a tight ball. _Don't want to remember! Not now, please I just need some sleep! Please don't remember, please, please, pleasepleaseplea―_

She remembered everything though; the beating and what followed after it, like she sometimes did when she tried to go to sleep. It was because in such moments she was alone with only her thoughts as company, and her mind seemed to love to torture her with horrible memories that she couldn't erase no matter how hard she tried. As always, the tremors started in her hands, but they soon spread, and no matter how warm it was under the covers, she only felt the coldness drowning her body in ice. Back then she'd been cold and scared as well. _Not scared,_ she tried lying to herself, but she ended up letting out a broken laugh. _Liar, you were scared._ Gritting her teeth hard against each other, she curled into a tighter ball in an attempt to fight off the tremors, but as the images from that time flooded her mind, wild shudders wrecked her frame. She knew it was ridiculous, because she was alone, and _safe,_ but her body seemed unable to comprehend what her mind was trying to relay.

 _No Shizuo, no Awakusu-Kai, no Aozaki, no danger; I'm safe,_ she kept repeating the same words in her head for a very long time, until the tremors stopped and the cold ebbed away and was replaced by a pleasant warmth. Her taut muscles relaxed a bit, and she let out a soft sigh as she stretched and squirmed around for a bit until she found a comfortable position.

Her precious apartment was gone, the Awakusu-Kai were after her, and no matter how hard she tried to hide it, Shizuo had broken something inside of her, but she was still alive, and she would have ample opportunities to make them all pay for their sins against her.

 _In the end, I will win this,_ Izaya vowed before finally falling asleep.

 

***

 

Shizuo couldn't help but worry about Izaya, and even though he regretted not stopping her, he knew that he had no right to tell her what to do. He was back in his room now, lying in the same bed that Izaya had fallen asleep in, and he could almost smell the scent she'd left behind. _Animal,_ he berated himself and then groaned, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. "Why did she have to look so damn hot," he mumbled unhappily as he turned and twisted under the covers, completely ignoring the fact that he was aggravating his injuries.

He raised a tentative hand to his face and then winced when his fingertips touched the scratches that Izaya had left behind. He could almost feel them throb, or perhaps it was just his imagination, because Izaya didn't have poisonous claws, no matter how much he sometimes wished she had. Shizuo wanted to hate her, because not hating her after what he had done was painful. The guilt felt suffocating, and he knew that it would never go away no matter what he did to repent. Even if he'd grovel at her feet or do her bidding, she would still hate him, because what he'd done was unforgivable. The worst thing though was that he wanted her more than ever, even though he didn't even have the right to lay eyes on her.

 _"Would you kill Aozaki for a kiss?"_ Izaya's words pierced his mind and he found himself growling because the thought of kissing Izaya was making heat spread throughout his body. _Shitshitshit, don't you dare,_ and yet he still found himself getting hard. A litany of curses left his mouth, and he slowly got out of bed and then walked out of the bedroom, his mind set on going to the bathroom and splashing some cold water on his face. As he passed through the living room, he heard the phone ring again. "Who is it?"

Kasuka sighed softly before slipping the device back into his pocket. "My manager again. He wants me to take a role in a movie they're going to film overseas."

Now that his curiosity was piqued, he postponed the trip to the bathroom and instead swiftly sat down on the couch, hoping that his little problem didn’t show. "Overseas?"

"United States. It’s going to be a co-production."

Shizuo stared at Kasuka for a few long moments, an overwhelming feeling of pride leaving him speechless. "You have to go!"

"I can't," Kasuka answered flatly and changed the channel.

"Why not?" he asked his little brother. "If it's because of me, then don't worry about it."

Kasuka turned and their eyes locked. "How can I not worry when you keep getting yourself into trouble?"

Shizuo awkwardly scratched the back of his head as he nervously laughed. It was true that he'd caused a lot of troubles to those around him, but Kasuka shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes. Filming overseas could skyrocket his little brother's career, and he refused to be the one to hold him back. "This is your chance to gain international fame."

"I don't care," Kasuka answered before he turned his attention back to the show he was watching.

"Forget the damn TV!" Shizuo snapped and snatched the remote control from Kasuka's fingers so that he could turn it off.

"But, nii-san, I was watching that," Kasuka complained.

"Not anymore," Shizuo growled and placed the remote control behind him before turning his attention back to Kasuka. "I'm serious about this, take the damn job!"

"I'm not going to leave you. Besides, my manager is on his way to tell the director that he couldn't convince me. It's all over now."

"Shizuo grit his teeth harder against each other and grabbed a fistful of Kasuka's hair, forcing him to look into his eyes instead of the turned off TV. "You're going, that's an order."

Kasuka's already half-closed eyes narrowed slightly, and he tried smacking Shizuo's arm away, but the other wasn't letting go. "Nii-san, are you resorting to violence now?"

"This is not violence. I'm just trying to get your attention, because the damn TV seems more important than what I have to say. You always do this, you know?" Shizuo hissed, exasperated.

"Do what?"

"Ignore me. You see me getting angry and you pretend like it doesn't affect you at all."

"Why would it affect me?" Kasuka asked in a neutral tone.

"Because your brother is a disgusting piece of shit, that's why!" Shizuo spoke through clenched teeth before releasing his hold on the black locks.

"I don't care about that... nii-san is nii-san," Kasuka said and moved to get up, only to end up on the couch again when Shizuo grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

"You don't get to run away after saying something like that," Shizuo announced with a small smile. "Are you saying you don't hate me?"

"I don't hate you, nii-san. Now let me go, I'm hungry," Kasuka requested with a flick of his wrist, but the older Heiwajima still didn't let go.

"Look, if you really care about me, and you don't want me to hate myself even more than I already am, then please go. You're not safe here, and I don't want to be the one to take this opportunity away from you. I'll be fine. I won't go out until Izaya proves that we're both innocent. I promise. Don't you trust me at all?" Shizuo asked, this time looking embarrassed. "I failed at being a good older brother, I know that, and I'm sorry, but I can take care of myself." Kasuka wasn't saying anything though, so Shizuo picked up the phone from the coffee table and placed it in his little brother's hand. "Make the call before it's too late, please."

Kasuka gazed into Shizuo's eyes for a long time, as though he could read his sibling's feelings in them. He'd done his best to not provoke him as they grew up, because he didn't want to see Shizuo hurt himself whenever he lost it, but it looked like his older brother was finally starting to better control his impulses, even though what it took for it to happen was for him to completely lose it that one time. He didn't want Shizuo to hate himself because of him, and if the only way to spare him more suffering was to leave his side, then so be it. "Nii-san... I'll go," he said and dialed his manager's number. Shizuo's eyes lit up at the announcement, and that's when Kasuka knew that he had made the right decision.

Shizuo couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. He was very happy that Kasuka would continue to improve himself, because he hated the idea of his little brother getting dragged down by him. He also knew how happy his parents would be if Kasuka got the job, and since Shizuo himself was a complete disappointment, he wanted them to at least feel like they hadn't done a terrible job at raising them. If at least Kasuka could make them feel proud, then Shizuo didn't mind if they hated him. He didn't really think that his parents hated him though, but he knew they were ashamed of him, especially after he ended up breaking so many things and hurt so many people over the years. It was one of the reasons he almost never talked to them, because he didn't want to remind them he even existed. If possible, he wanted them to just think of Kasuka and how happy he made them.

"Nii-san, are you listening to me?" Kasuka asked and shook Shizuo's shoulder.

Shizuo's watched him with confused eyes for a few moments before he shook his head and smiled. "Y-Yeah... I was just thinking, you know? How glad I am that you got this opportunity."

"I called him just as he was about to tell the Director that I've declined their offer."

Shizuo sighed in relief. "When are you leaving?"

Kasuka got up and slipped the phone into his pocket. "In about an hour or so. I have to pack my bag."

"I'll help you," he offered, but Kasuka's eyes narrowed dangerously and Shizuo ended up squirming uncomfortably under the gaze. "Fine, I'll just stay here and watch TV," he mumbled unhappily as he picked up the remote control and started randomly flipping through the channels in the hope of finding something interesting to watch.

He didn't like the idea of Kasuka being away from home for who knew how long, but he was glad that he wouldn't have to worry about his little brother's safety anymore. Shizuo could take care of himself, but if the Awakusu-Kai were to somehow catch Kasuka, Shizuo would gladly die to save him. He didn't want to die though, even though he knew he deserved it, so it was best if Kasuka was away, where the Yakuza couldn't get him. This way, both of them could keep their lives.

Shizuo knew well enough that he couldn't rely on Izaya to prove his innocence, especially when she despised him so much, so he had to find a way to do it himself. He remembered Izaya saying that the Heaven's Slave group was behind the attack, so if he could make one of them talk, then perhaps the Awakusu-kai would leave them alone. He had a feeling that Aozaki would still come after him, but he didn't really worry about fighting him at full strength. He'd wait until most of his injuries had healed and then he'd go on the hunt. "Hey, Kasuka, for how long will you be gone?" he then asked, hoping that his little brother would be away for a while so that he'd have enough time to take care of things.

"I don't know for sure. It could be a few months," Kasuka answered from inside the bedroom.

"That's good."

"Nii-san wants me gone that badly?"

"Tch! You know that's not true!"

"I know," Kasuka said softly just as he placed a pair of pants into the suitcase. He really didn't want to leave Shizuo alone, especially when his reckless brother was so injured, but he understood why he had to get away. Shizuo would not be able to focus on anything if he had to constantly worry about his little brother. Sometimes, Kasuka really hated himself for not being able to help Shizuo more, but they lived in different worlds, and he wasn't about to abandon his own and go fight the Yakuza. There was only so much their poor parents could handle before having their hearts completely crushed. He gathered in silence the rest of his clothes and other things he thought he might need, and once he was done, he picked up the suitcase and carried it over to the door.

"That was fast."

Kasuka nodded and went to get something to eat. "The car will be here soon," he announced before he stepped into the kitchen and opened the fridge to pick up the plate of french toast. It was Izaya's plate, but since she hadn't eaten the last two slices, Kasuka shrugged and took it to the living room where he placed it on the coffee table and picked one up. "You should eat one too, but I must warn you that Izaya ate from that plate, in case you haven't figured it out by now."

"It's fine," Shizuo assured him and picked up the remaining slice. "Don't worry about me. Celty's gonna bring me a few stuff later today."

"I'm not worried. There is icecream, pudding and milk in the fridge. You should be fine," Kasuka said with a barely noticeable smile. "Nii-san..." he then added in a serious tone, "I know why you want me to go away, and I want you to know that I understand. I am your weakness, and I'll just drag you down or put you in danger if I get caught."

"That's not... that's not why―"

"You don't have to explain anything to me, I _know._ Just please, be safe. If anything bad would happen to you, then I―"

"Nothing will happen to me," Shizuo assured him, smirking. I'm Ikebukuro's strongest after all. Those small fries don't stand a chance against me."

"Still, be careful."

"I will!"

After Kasuka finished the french toast, he went to take a shower, and Shizuo had to admit that he was really proud of his little brother. Picking up his own phone from the coffee table, he dialed Shinra's number because he had a few things he wanted to talk to the doctor. "Hey," he said when the man picked up.

 _"Are you not feeling well?"_ Shinra immediately asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I'm okay, but I wanted to talk to you about something."

Shinra sighed. _"Did you run out of food again?"_

"No! Well, yes..." he admitted sheepishly, but that's not what I want to talk to you about."

 _"Fine, I'll bring you some more food. How can you even eat so much?"_ Shinra asked in a frustrated tone.

"I already told you that I'll pay you for the food!" Shizuo snapped.

 _"With what money...?"_ Shinra hissed.

"I'll figure something out," Shizuo sighed. "Anyway, bring food for only one person, because Kasuka is going overseas to shoot a movie."

 _"Oh! That's good news! He'll be safe and also on his way to international fame!"_ Shinra chirped excitedly into the phone. _"I'll be right over."_

"Yeah," Shizuo answered, smiling, before he ended the call and placed it back on the coffee table.

With Kasuka out of harm's way, he could finally relax.


End file.
